It wasn’t easy.

Sunggyu knew that even though he knew how it felt to love someone who’d completely forgotten about you (he had practice in the previous life they had met), it didn’t make it any easier to know this time around again, he didn’t retain memories from their previous life together. You didn't need to learn to know someone because you already knew how they were like. Lifetime after lifetime, the soul doesn't change much if at all. Only the shell changed but even then, just barely.

But it was to be expected that Woohyun didn't remember what they'd shared. Just like many things in life that Sunggyu had come to expect, he knew it wasn't wise to hope too much because that too much would end up shattering your heart. Just like how it wasn’t wise to trust people no matter how deceptively kind they were.

It didn’t mean, however, that Sunggyu hadn’t hoped (just slightly, a small sliver of hope existed even though he knew it shouldn't have) that he would’ve remembered everything that they’ve been through. It would’ve been a miracle, but he thought that the love that they shared for each other needed a miracle and perhaps would've been granted one by the Upper World, because in the previous two lifetimes they'd met, they weren’t able to be together with a fulfilled promise of a better tomorrow.

Sunggyu found him in this life already. It was a lot earlier than when they'd met in their previous two lives. He'd always meet Woohyun when he was in his early twenties. And Woohyun was always at least 5 years younger. But in this life, they were about the same age if not the exact same--or at least Sunggyu assumed so. He hadn't seen him since the day they met on the beach and he didn't get much out of Woohyun, other than the fact that they would be attending the same school once the summer break was over. He had opted to just sit around and make small talk with everyone in his group of friends that day before they parted ways when the sun began to set in the horizon.

Sunggyu drew small, idle circles on the window pane. His eyes were looking but he wasn't seeing anything outside on the lawn of the small house he now lived in.

Although he was sixteen, he felt like he was at least a hundred. It felt like he had lived far too long and he retained a lot of memories if not all from all of his lives. He was what people would call an old soul that has seen much of the world already at a young age.

When people his age complained about their tumultuous lives, Sunggyu just accepted whatever life threw at him without complaining. When people his age complained about guilty pleasures their parents wouldn’t let them indulge in because they weren’t doing well in school (quite a few in this generation, Sunggyu could only muse, seemed to always want everything to be fun and to go their way), Sunggyu just nodded and listened with a little smile on his face. Again, he didn't really have friends that he was really close to or trusted and he was fine with that.

When the Upper World finally decided it was time for the two of them to meet this time (because you cannot prevent what was fated from happening without causing the balance in the universe from falling apart), Sunggyu was faced with a very hard decision he had to execute.

To be just friends in this lifetime.

The decision was made long before they met and he was able to even execute it. It was a decision that had been nagging him since the time he regained memories of his past two lives and had built to a crescendo, with resolution. While he was very sure he was able to follow through with what he’d resolved, there was a tiny voice in his head that said it was impossible. Because they were soulmates.

Especially the way his heart skipped a beat when they first met in this life, Sunggyu was very unsure and wary of if he were able to stick with his resolution to stay friends for this lifetime... and let Woohyun live as "normally" as he could.

He sighed, a very troubled expression on his face.

Backing away from the window which he was blankly staring out of, he caught sight of his mother standing at the door of his comfy bedroom, studying him silently. She was worried, because she didn’t think he liked the move that they made. At all.

“Are you doing okay? How do you like the town so far?” she asked for the umpteenth time since they've arrived and finished unpacking just last week, looking very unsure of herself. But at the same time, he could see the happiness in her eyes that was b and threatening to escape, no matter how hard she tried to disguise it. She really wanted to move here despite it being boring, because they were able to get a better house than the apartment they were living at in Seoul (real estate was cheaper out here), and because the job promotion she got that required her to move here paid a lot better than her previous position.

No one would be willing to leave the big city and come to a small town on the outskirts of Seoul. There wasn't much out here if you were looking for entertainment, which Sunggyu knew his mother didn't quite like about the town despite it being friendly and quaint: there wasn't much to do in the area. She was more of a teenager than she was. He was sure she made this sacrifice on his behalf; she was saving money for his college tuition come a year or two. And he was grateful because she had always selflessly put his needs and happiness before hers.

“Yes,” he replied, giving her a soft smile. She was still the same as ever, even though she was his older sister in the past life. But then again, it was given that she would always be worried and doting over him.

In their previous life, neither of them were aware of who their mother was, so it was only fitting that he ended up being her son in this life because he considered her his mother back then. She was an amazing mother in this life; raising him by herself. His father was unknown and it would remain so, so it seemed. Sunggyu was told that his father left them for someone else before he was born.

Sunggyu's heart hurt for his older sister or--he mused--mother. And he really hoped that when reborn again, he would be her father. He would treasure her. He would make sure she had everything that she wanted within reason and that she would be showered with continuous love and wouldn't see hardship if he could help it. She deserved it after suffering for two lifetimes.

“If you say so,” his mother said, looking a bit doubtful but nonetheless, decided to leave it at