"Hyung... I'm scared"

"Hyung, we cannot lose Jimin! Hyung!" Taehyungie shouted at the top of his lungs beside me when he saw me hesitate to the deal. It was a dangerous deal, trains of thoughts were running through my mind. Both the angel and devil of me were speaking in my mind, all their suggestions were tempting. It was so sweet like candy that young children would not hesitate to agree upon. But it was dangerous, too dangerous in a sense to make that decision.

Maybe, if Jimin does leave with his brother, it would be better for him? He would not have to live such a stressful yet glamorous life. He need not go through all the unnecessary diets, force himself to lose weight, damaging him both mentally and physically for the sake of our fans. Jimin could live his life more freely, with lesser restrictions. Maybe be a famous contemporary dancer, at least he has more talent and passion in it. Furthermore, he could be with his family, the people whom he yearns for the most yet cannot be by their side the most. A year, he only goes back less than 10 times, had to miss his brother's graduation ceremony which he wanted to go so desparately but couldn't due to our schedule. He can live a normal person's life instead of this that has too much limelight on us, that it is no longer a blessing but a burden. 

But would Jimin really accept it? Given his somewhat stuborn personality? 

However, reality is cruel. Should Jimin leave the group, Bangtan will collapse. All the hardwork all of us have put in, our youth that we have sacrificed, our education that we foresaken for this one somewhat unrealistic dream, it would all go down the drain. The time, the relationships all that were foresaken for this seemingly bleak light at the end of the dark tunnel. All would be gone in the matter of just one word. I cannot accept it, this is not worth the gamble, my life, this goal I have been working towards, is not going to end yet because of someone. Furthermore, he should not be the one ending it, she hasn't arrive. Also, I cannot lose the members, not any one of them, they are my family and families do not give up on each other...Isn't it? 

Still, there is guilt present, but greed won over guilt. 

My devil won my angel...

"Hyung, I'm scares that I would be