Nana’s POV

                It hasn’t occurred to me what’s going on. Am I dead? It gave me a sense of relief, somehow that I’m dead. Finally, the pain and bad memories are gone. I’m finally free from all these things; dad, feelings, responsibilities and what not. I try to look for that someone they called God but I couldn’t find him. Perhaps he’s not true? I also tried to hear for someone’s voice but I couldn’t hear anything. The only sound I hear is the sound of something beeping. There’s also a dull ache at the back of my head. I shouldn’t feel any pain if I were dead, right? I figured I wasn’t any near dead; I am very much alive in somewhere too familiar. I tried to open my heavy lids and successfully did so. I was disappointed to what I saw; all I see was white and cobwebs. I shifted my gaze and found mom beside me, sleeping. I tried nudging her and she woke up

                “Hun? Are you awake now? Oh my”  She panicked quietly. It pains me to look at her like this. All distressed and worried, and that’s because of me. Everything is always about me. As I tried to move, the pain at the back of my head shoots up. I couldn’t help but cringe in pain.

                “What happened?” My voice was hoarse and barely audible. I’m in need of refreshment

                “Oh honey, you were almost rap-assaulted  last night”  Mom quickly changed her choice of words. She knows the word is too sensitive to be used with me. I recalled the events last night, but the only memory that is registered in my brain is Kris and his rage. Kris, oh God where is he?

                ”Good thing Chanyeol was there to help you and bring you here in the hospital. He called me right away. That boy hasn’t left the room all night”  Mom pointed at the sleeping figure of a guy at the side of the room. It was indeed Chanyeol, but I was curious as to why he’s here. He was nowhere near me or at the party last night. I was with Kris, or was I hallucinating again? Seeing Kris instead of Chanyeol? No, I was with Kris. Did he leave me and Chanyeol came to the rescue? How could he.

                “Mom, can you get me something to drink?” I excused. It’s the only way to get Chanyeol alone and talk to him. Mom brushed my forehead and left. Chanyeol was awakened by the creak sound of the door. He instantly got up and walked to my side. He has bags under his eyes and I couldn’t help but blame myself. Everyone was fed up because of me.

                “What happened? Where’s Kris?” Kris is my priority right now. Was he hurt? Oh my God, If Kris was hurt; I don’t know how to deal with guilt. I warned him, though. I am no good.

                “How are you? You hurt your head pretty badly. It was bleeding heavily”  Chanyeol avoided my question like he was hiding something from me.

                “Where’s Kris, Chanyeol?” I insisted. I could see the disappointment in his eyes because he’s the one who helped me but I was looking for someone who just left me. He was hesitant to answer my question.

                ”Uh, he’s beaten up too. It was a chaos last night.I heard punches and shouts outside the tavern and saw him and Luhan fighting. I rushed my way to him and helped him, but he said that you were hurt and bleeding. And so I went to your side instead. I called for help. That’s the last time I saw him, he was still in fight with Luhan when we left.” Oh God. Kris was hurt. Kris was hurt because of me. How can I forgive myself? This is my entire fault. I shouldn’t have gone to the party. I, myself, know too well that I am a danger magnet. I felt a tear escaped my eye and I didn’t know what hurt more, my heart or my head.

                “How can you leave him?” It came out as an accusation and Chanyeol was taken aback. Great Nana, now you’re scaring people away. That’s better, right?

                “You were hurt! How could I just leave you there bleeding! You don’t know how badly worried I was.” Chanyeol tried to raise his voice but ended up in a whisper  which I could still clearly hear.

                ”What’s happening here?” Mom entered the room at the perfect time. I didn’t know how to respond any further to Chanyeol. He went back to the bench and just sat there quietly. I felt guilty of my sudden outburst at him. Well, you should be guilt of a lot of things, Nana.

                “Mom, can we go home? I don’t want to stay here anymore” Hospitals make me sick more. Being in a place full with sick people triggers the inner doctor in me. And I’ve had bad experiences in hospitals. Yes, everything bad that happened to me points to dad.

                “Hun, you should rest more. The doctor said he’ll come in a few and check you for concussions.” Mom said. In a matter of minutes, the doctor came and made his way to me

                ”Hello, Jin ah. How are you feeling?” The doctor greeted

                “It’s Nana. I’m fine but my head still hurts a bit” I lied. I am nowhere near okay; I’m worried, stressed and hurt.

                “Let’s see, Nana. I’m going to check for any concussions, okay? If there’s none, you’re good to go”  He smiled. The doctor took out his mini flashlight from his pocket and shone its light to my eyes.  It was too bright and annoying and it just makes me sick all the more but if this thing would bring me home, then I would endure it.

                “I see nothing wrong with her but she should rest more. She can go home later, just wait till she finishes her fluids. And for the next few days, monitor for any signs of concussion. It may not show now. But If you suffer from nausea or vomiting, strong headaches, heightened sensitivity to light and sound and problems with balance, go back here immediately okay?” He thoroughly explained. I just faintly smiled in return

                When the IV fluid has finished running through my veins, my mom packed our bags. Chanyeol offered his help but mom refused. She said he has done enough for me. True enough, Chanyeol is nice person, a type of person that you like to befriend. He brings tranquillity and assurance; his whole existence is a gift sent from heaven. He’s my first friend here in LA, and I wonder why I find Kris’ company better. They are two different persons; Chanyeol is calm, friendly, caring, gentleman and has genuine intentions while Kris; he’s impatient, aggressive, bossy, jerk, insensitive, cocky- every bad adjective I could describe him of. A total complete opposite of Chanyeol, but Kris also makes my heart flutter and do things I’m against with. Chanyeol is too good for me whereas Kris, I don’t know yet.

                The ride home was silent and awkward. Chanyeol offered us a ride home and mom gladly accepted this time just because Aunt Kahi wasn’t with our company. My head still hurt but it was tolerable. I just sat back and just stared at the beautiful California as Chanyeol drove his car. I couldn’t stop thinking about Kris. I mean how is he, how badly hurt is he, is someone taking care of him, does he still want to see me, do I still need to see him? I should avoid him at all cost; he was hurt because of me. And not far from it, Chanyeol would be too.

                When we reached home, Chanyeol and mom brought our bags inside the house. I went straight ahead to my room and lay down. It is such a comfort to be on your own bed, well I’m not that really used to this bed but whatever it’s so much better than the squeaky hospital bed. As I recollect the events last night, I realized how dumb it was for me to attend the party. I was still healing physically and emotionally, but I went anyways because Kris asked me to. I couldn’t blame him because he’s hurt but I was hurt too. This mental war in me makes me insane.

                Someone then knocked on my door, I thought it was mom but Chanyeol was the one who entered. I quickly got up,however; the pain at the back of my head shot back. I winced in pain and he rushed to my bed.

                “Don’t tire yourself. Just lie down. I brought your painkillers” He awkwardly gave me the meds and turned his back from me.

                “Wait. I’m sorry for getting mad at you like that. I haven’t thanked you yet for making sure I was safe” I said without a pause. Chanyeol has always saved me from unfortunate situations but here I am being an ungrateful , just as what that Luhan said I was. He turned around again and faced me. I could see the sadness in his eyes as he looked at me.

                ”You don’t have to say thank you, Nana. I will always be here to protect and save you from any harm. I feel the need to be your knight in shining armor” He weakly smiled. How could he be so understanding of me? I don’t deserve his treatment.

                ”Thank you, I mean it” I reached for his hand and squeezed it. It felt different; I didn’t feel any jolt of electricity compared to when I held Kris’. Chanyeol grinned like a mad dog, thus I instantly pulled my hand away and rubbed the back of my neck. He headed out my room after our little encounter. The pain killers were finally kicking off and in a few minutes, I dozed off.

                School was making things worse. I had a battle inside me on whether I would go to school or just sleep all day. School means learning which will hurt my head a lot more, but it also means seeing Kris. I badly wanted to see Kris, is that weird?  I just wanted to check out his condition, is that too much to ask? The first subject went painfully slow. I couldn’t wait for my next class; Kris is a classmate of mine in geology. To my disappointment, Kris didn’t show up. It’s not surprising, though. Maybe the wounds he got were a lot worse than mine. Oh my God, I couldn’t imagine his beautiful face having cuts and bruises.

                ”I heard you’re working at the coast?” Oh I forgot Chanyeol is also a classmate of mine too. Can you imagine the three of us being in the same room for one and a half hour? It’s slightly a good thing that Kris is absent today.

                “Uh yes, I’ll go there right after class”

                ”I think you should rest more. You’re still pale. Sir Dong wook will understand that” He caught my attention now.

                “You know him?” I asked. Again, it seems like every Asian here in California knows each other. Well I figured that with the small portion of Asians here, it’s not hard to know each one. It’s the culture that connects and makes us different from the Americans. I noticed that Chanyeol became uneasy of my question. He scratched his head and went on.

                “Uhh, we used to hang out there” He finished. It all made sense now; Kris knowing the place and Krystal.

                “Did you perhaps hang out with Krystal?”

                “How did you know her?”  

                “She came there and ordered her usual”  I rolled my eyes as I remembered her. Chanyeol exploded in laughter. Ugh I can’t believe she’s connected to everyone.

                “What, now?”  I forcedly smiled. He hasn’t stopped laughing yet making it hard for him to talk to me.

                “You’re funny, but Krystal is tons way funnier. She’s still as stupid as before” He said in between short breaths of laughter.

                “Yes I know her. She’s head over heels for Kris until now” he added.  I didn’t know how to react with his news. It shouldn’t burden me that someone as gorgeous as Krystal likes Kris but it does. It’s not surprising anymore because I’ve seen the way she linked her arms around Kris’ and the way she looks at him defies the difference in their friendship.

                “Are they dating?” I unknowingly blurted out. My thoughts are endangering me. Chanyeol looked at me questioningly.

                “No. Kris never dated anyone. He only liked one girl” That’s a shocker. Kris is the type of person to date hundreds of pretty girls. I never imagined him as the reserved-when-it-comes-to-girls type. How lucky and unlucky at the same time the girl he liked. Chanyeol noticed how sceptical I was, thus he cleared his throat.

                “But he sure has hooked up with dozens of them” he continued. Chanyeol bad mouthing Kris irked me. I didn’t know why it affected me anyway. He might be right, though. He knew Kris better than me and may be, this was his way of warning me not to get acquainted with Kris. And it’s kind of working

“I’m sure the two of you have lots of things to talk about? In detention maybe?”  The professor suddenly disrupted  Chanyeol and I’s conversation and we immediately shifted our attention to her. She talked about nonsense stuff about rocks, who wants to know about rocks these days? Sure it’s helpful to geologist wannabes but to people like me? Nah, I’d rather succumb to my room and listen to 90’s music.

                “So, in lieu with your Chemistry subject, we have decided to conduct a three day excursion in Moro Rock, Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Park Wednesday next week. I’m going to distribute the waivers, have them signed and hand it back to me next meeting” She explained. I was never a hiking junkie but to try one in California is a must. I’m doubtful, though. With everything that has happened the other night causing a bandage behind my head, mom wouldn’t allow me. And the fact that the trip will take three days? Mom hasn’t let me out of her sight for the past twenty four hours, what more a seventy two hour of absence?

                “Are you coming?” Chanyeol asked.

                “I’m still not sure. “ I pointed at my head and he instantly understood what I meant which caused him to just nod. I bid Chanyeol and Lizzy goodbyes and made my way out the room after geology.

                Right after class, I went to the coast right away. It’s only four thirty and that left me a good thirty minutes to spare. I changed clothes and fixed my hair, more like my head. I had no idea how to cover the bandage or how to make it less unnoticeable. As I strutted my way out the staff room, a man’s voice called out on me.

                “Nana, come inside my office for a minute” Sir Dog wook ordered. I entered his office, sat on the guest chair and waited for him to talk to me.

                “What happened to your head?” Of course he noticed.  I’m not sure if I would tell him the reason why I have bandage on my head. Sir, I fell on the ground. Is that believable?

                “Uhm long story sir, but I’m okay now and I won’t let it affect my work” I assured him.

                “It’s not your work I’m worried about. I’m afraid your condition might worsen if you strained yourself and that worries me” He looked at me with concern. There’s a tone in his voice that made me feel indifferent. Do all bosses treat their staff like this? I mean who cares if you’re injured or dying? What matters is their business making money. I should be thankful my boss treats me nicely, why am I being ungrateful again?

                “I assure you, I’m better now” I smiled.

                “Okay, I’ll let you out early instead”  Again with the special treatment. I don’t know how my workmates will react to this. They will surely feel unfair about this; I already feel unfair about it. After our agreement, I went outside to begin my duties.

                It hasn’t been too long and my head is already doing wonders. I should have listened to Chanyeol and asked for a sick leave. I only have an hour left; I can still last that long, right? Orders and services were right and left, they make my head spin.  A few more minutes, Nana. As soon as my time has finished, I immediately packed my bags and bid my workmates farewell. I’m sure they’d understand my situation right now. Who wouldn’t?

                I waited for my designated uber driver to arrive while I contemplated on whether I would visit Kris. I mean, I still have a session left with him to finish our chemistry. It’s a perfect excuse to be honest. God, did I just find an excuse to be with kris right now? In a few minutes, the uber came.

                I ended up in front of Kris’ mansion. Great, the driver was eyeing me suspiciously while I talked to myself. I took a mental note to not talk to myself when you’re inside the cab, it makes you more insane than you already are. Kris’ butler greeted me and urged to just go upstairs; it looks like the people here have become familiar of my presence. The house is quiet as usual- why wouldn’t it be anyway? Kris, his mom and their maids are the only ones who live in this big house. It’s frustrating to live in a house that doesn’t feel like home, I’d rather be in a small house but filled with actual people. As I made my way too his room, I noticed that his door was slightly opened. I quietly took a peek, however the scene that I saw was not that pleasing. Krystal was sitting comfortably on his bed while she tended to his wounds; Kris’ face was unrecognizable due to the bruises and cuts. He was soundly asleep while this girl was taking advantage of him. I should be the one doing that, not her. Not pleased, I turned my back and tiptoed my way out.

              “Oppa, see what happened to you. That girl, she brings no good to you. You’re only getting yourself into trouble” I stopped. Krystal’s voice was loud enough for me to hear how she resented me in Kris’ face.

              ”She’s not Max, you know” Max? Was that the girl that Chanyeol told me Kris liked? Why did she compare me to her? I couldn’t help but wonder what this Max was like.

              ”She needs me, Krystal” He weakly replied. It stunned me at how sincere his voice was. I couldn’t see his face, but his voice is enough to lure me. I made a quick glance back at his room and was surprised to see that Kris and Krystal kissed. It was a quick kiss; I was sure she initiated it but Kris did not refuse it either.

              “I need you too. You need to go back to the old Kris. We were happy before”  And that’s it. I couldn’t bear anything that’s happening now. Kris is nothing for me, then why do I feel this way? Why did it hurt like ? Why did it hurt more than dad’s slaps and punches? Why does it feel like I’m going to cry any second now? .

Hi guys Happy new year! I'm sorry for the late update because I was busy eating and lighting sparklers. haha anyway this chapter is a filler and a shocker. Hope you find it good and if it doesn't burden you, please do leave comments. thankyou!