Chapter 7

Kris’ pov

                I couldn’t forget what happened last night. Nana exploded her anger at me when I touched her scar and immediately went downstairs. I don’t know why but when I become pushy around her, she’s always uneasy. I know it’s not nice to be aggressive or pushy around girls but that’s me. That’s Kris. When we were in the car, I was too sad to even start a conversation with her. I was afraid that she would be upset with me again, thus I focused on driving instead. The darkness was eating us alive, I couldn’t bear the silence exchanging between us, so I decided to talk with her. When I looked at her direction, I saw the tears she had on her eyes while looking away. She brushed her cheek and sighed. It pained me looking at her like that. I was worried for her. The strong girl I know right from the start was crying. I dropped Nana at her house and without any goodbyes she walked away.

                Sleep was not helping either. I tried my best to sleep the night off but I couldn’t stop thinking about her; how all of a sudden she was infuriated towards me. I tried to recall everything that has happened between us. I remember how she defensively put her arms up against me like I was about to hit her when I dragged her outside the room, how she backed away when I straightened my body and towered over her, how she harshly pulled her hand away when I grabbed her wrist and now how she shouted at me when I touched the scar on her arm. I couldn’t process it. Something tells me that a bigger picture lies behind, and I am determined to know it. Nana is hiding something.

                I figured I was not gonna sleep any time soon. I checked my phone for time, and it’s already two fifteen in the morning. Great. I stayed up late thinking about her. I browsed my phone for messages and I found an unread message from Tao.

                “Are you at the cemetery again?”  sent 10:00 am.

                How did I miss his text? I know. I was too engrossed staring at her grave to notice a text message. Yesterday was Max’s death anniversary. It has been two years since she passed away, no scratch that. Murdered.  She was murdered. I couldn’t miss seeing her every once in a year, even if it was just like that. Staring at her grave and reminisce all the memories she left. Max was the first person I loved. We grew up together, spent most of the time together and I was too innocent before to know I loved her. The day just came that I realized my feelings for her were no longer an act of friendship or a as a brother. I loved Max with every beating of my heart. She was the only one who made me happy and contented. I was contented just being with her. We were happy until Chanyeol came in the scene. Chanyeol and I became the best of friends when I transferred school here in California. He’s famous in school without doing anything. He attracted girls everywhere and so I figured we could be a team together. I introduced Chanyeol to Max because why not? But that was my biggest mistake. Max started to drift away from me and be with chanyeol’s company at all times. I could see she was happier with him than she was with me. Her eyes lit up whenever she sees Chanyeol. I was upset and broken because the girl I loved was in loved with somebody else, and that somebody else was my best friend too.  I couldn’t bring to hate Chanyeol because Max would get angry whenever I tried to confront her feelings towards him.

                One night, Tao held a party at his place. I was hesitant to attend the party because no doubt the place would be filled with sticky bodies grinding at each other or making out which disgusts me to death. I agreed to this party because Max would be there. Max was always where Chanyeol was and that annoyed me. Chanyeol and I’s friendship grew apart. I didn’t care about him anymore. I looked for Max and I found her drinking vodka to her heart’s content. She was saying a lot of trashy things that I couldn’t hear because of the loud music. She swayed her body to the beat of the music and nearly fell off. I caught her from falling and wrapped my arms around her waist. I walked her out the room and settled her at the bench outside.

                “Wait for me here. I’ll get you water” I said while fixing her hair.

                “Oh! Kris! My handsome bestfriend ! What are you doing here? I thought you hated parties?”  She barely finished her sentence in her slurred speech. Max was so wasted. It’s the first time she got this drunk

                “I’m really sorry Kris. I know you loved me” I shook my head. She didn’t know what she was saying.

                “But I love Chanyeol” she admitted. I have always known that Chanyeol played the bigger part in her heart. I was just her best friend. I tried to hush her but she started sobbing.

                ”But he doesn’t love me back” She cried harder. Seeing her cry angered me, but knowing she was crying because of Chanyeol infuriated me. The guy doesn’t deserve to be cried on. He broke the heart of the girl I loved. If he wasn’t grateful of Max’s presence, I would steal her again from him

                “But it’s okay. I still love him. I’ll make him love me” She quickly stood up and pushed past me. That’s it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t let her drown to her unrequited love. I grabbed her arm making her turn to me.

                “And what? Chanyeol doesn’t love you can’t you see? He loves himself too much to take notice of you, what more love you? What about me? I’ve been in love with you ever since and not once did I feel anything special from you. You’re just going to end up like a lost puppy max” I shouldn’t have said that. Her hand quickly slapped my face

                “I can never love you” She finished.  I didn’t know what hurt more; her slap or the fact that she can never love me in return.

                 Chanyeol always had the perfect timing. He came behind Max and pulled her into a hug. He didn’t know the boundary of being friends to not. Didn’t he know that his actions would make her hopeful again? How stupid and insensitive. All he cared for was for someone to never leave him.

                 “Chanyeol, please take me home. Please stay with me” She begged. I hated her seeing like this. All broken and hurt from the guy who doesn’t give a damn about her.

                    “No. You’re going home with me. Your mom won’t like to see you like this Maxene” I grasped her arm again but she snatched it away. It didn’t matter how hurt I was, what mattered was Max’s safety. They’re both drunk and I couldn’t let Chanyeol drive.

                   “No! I’m going with Chanyeol no matter what happens”  Max whined.

                   “I’m sorry Kris. I’m going to drive her safely. I promise I’m sober”  I scoffed. How dare he be nice towards me. How dare he take away the girl I loved. I clenched my fist as I watched him her towards the car. I should be the one doing that not him. I gulped at my own pride. And that’s it. I lost the girl I love, moreover I lost two of my best friends.

                    Later that night, I got a call from Max’s mom crying. Max and Chanyeol got into an accident taking Max’s life in an instant. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I stared blankly at my ceiling. Max was gone and he killed her. He broke his promise to protect her.  I couldn’t bring myself out from bed, thus I ended up crying myself to sleep. It was the first time I cried.

                    Max’s funeral was hard. Mom took a lot of power to convince me go to Max’s funeral. How can I face the fact that Max can no longer be with me?  It didn’t matter if I were just her best friend. I needed to see the smile she had every time I brought her favourite gelato, her dazzling eyes whenever she saw something she wanted, how her nose twitched when she slept, how she managed to make me fall in love with her. Now, there’s no smiling and annoying Max. The girl who mattered to me the most was long gone and I couldn’t bring her back whatever I do.

                  When I looked at Max’s grave, I felt nothing. No tears came out anymore. I was nothing without Max. For two years without her, everything has been bleak. Her death turned me into a person not capable of loving anymore. I became the least person she wanted me to be. I bid my farewell to Max and made my way to the car, but then I spotted Chanyeol from afar.

                   “What are you doing here?” How dare he showed up his face to me and Max

                   “I just wanted to visit Max, kris” I know he has always felt guilty of Max’s death and I will never get tired of reminding him that.

                 “Aren’t you sorry for killing Max?”

                “Kris, I didn’t kill her. It was an accident” He defended.

                 “Accident? You promised me you were going to drive her safely! I let her go to you because she loved you so much!!” I didn’t care if my yells would awaken the skeletons here. I was too angry at Chanyeol.

                “I-I’m sorry for breaking my promise. I loved her too!”  I liked how I angered Chanyeol. Seeing him like this made me happy.

               “If you loved her like you said, she would still be here”  With that, I walked past him and added

              ”  I wouldn’t let Nana suffer the same fate as Max”

                   I got up from bed and took a bath because there’s no way I’ll be sleeping. It was only six in the morning but I didn’t care. I wanted to be the first one in the room and wait for Nana to come. I made myself a cereal and immediately finished it. The way to school was swift, there’s no traffic yet. I parked my car near the entrance of the school. Students were already piling up as I made my way to my first class. I was so eager to see Nana and ask her how she was.

                    The class would start in any minute but Nana wasn’t around yet. I was worried of what could possibly happen to her. Just as the bell rang, she came. I sighed in relief. I noticed the bags under her puffy eyes. Didn’t she get any sleep just like me? Worse, was she crying all night? She saw me looking at her but she avoided me instantly. She went to her seat without looking at my direction. Was she avoiding me?.

                       “Okay Good Morning class. We’re going to talk about Psychological abuse” I couldn’t bring myself to listen to her because I was too focused on Nana. I saw her back stiffened while the prof was discussing about the psychological abuse . I mean who talks about abuse and ? The subject is very touchy to some people and others might have experienced it. How insensitive. The professor turned off the lights and played some video. I couldn’t help but cringe at the video. It’s nothing but violence against a person. I hate violence. How ironic! A few good minutes have passed and the video just don’t get any better. Nana stood up from her seat, grabbed her stuff and hastily walked towards the back door. The class was disturbed and the professor called out for her. Without any further ado, I followed her. I didn’t care if I would be in detention.

                I was starting to get worried because I couldn’t find Nana. I looked for her in the east B wing but she’s nowhere to be found. It’s this feeling again. I hate what she makes me do. Only Max had the power to make me do such things. I don’t look for girls! I reached the parking lot and thank the heavens! I found her. She was seated on the ground with her back against the wall. Her head was buried on her knees while she rocked her body back and forth slowly. My concern for her started to worsen. What’s happening to her? Before I can even approach her, the guy I hate the popped out. He was holding a cup of hot chocolate from the vendo. He walked towards her and lowered himself to Nana’s position. Nana looked up at him with evidence of tears in her eyes. Chanyeol then gave her the cup and reached out for her hair, it. Were they always this close before? For a second, I couldn’t bear to look at the scene. It reminded me of how max preferred Chanyeol’s comforts whenever she had problems.  

                I turned back and walked away.

                “Kris, I have a party tomorrow. You need to come, there will be a lot of Miami girls!” Tao proudly said and I didn’t care one bit. Tao waved his hand in front of my face.

                “Are you even listening? You hurt my feelings, Kris” He mocked a hurt expression.

                “I’m just not in the mood”

                “You’re only not in the mood when you don’t get what you want or when you see Chanyeol. I’m guessing it’s both?” Tao sure knows me a lot.

                “I’m going home. Just dial me up when you need something” I got up from my seat and left him. Tao was absolutely right. I’m upset because I saw Chanyeol and Nana together again.  Why does he always get to the girls I fancy first? What makes him better than me? Max chose him before and Now, Nana chose him too.  Am I always this sore loser?

                When I arrived home, I went straight to my room and bed. I pulled my shirt out and didn’t bother to put on another because I was too tired to begin with. I had no sleep from earlier and that’s a perfect excuse if Mom asked me. But my brain and heart know differently. Before I can be lost in my own wonderland, I was awakened by a non-stop knock on my door. Ugh, why couldn’t I get a decent sleep? I checked my phone and it was only nine in the evening. I only had an hour sleep . I swear whoever disturbed my sleep will get what he deserves. This is probably Tao.

                As I opened the door, I was greeted with a shock Nana; her eyes were covered by her hands. I looked at myself only to find out I was half . God, can this day get any worse? I quickly ran to my closet and put on a shirt. I went back at her and cleared my throat.

                “What are you doing here?” She avoided me all day and now she’s here disrupting my sleep? I don’t mind though.

“I’m sorry but your maid let me in. I thought we’re going to have study sessions together. You didn’t pick me up at the café so I figured you’re busy or something, and  I just hailed cab to here.”  She shyly replied.

                “But if you’re busy or sleeping. I can just go” She bit her lips again. I don’t know the things I could do to her if she continuously bit her lip.

                “No, no it’s okay. I was just sleeping. Psh sleep is for the weak” I reasoned out. And yes it’s lame

I urged her to go inside and I closed the door. I led her to our seat last night carefully, without making any physical contact her with her because the hell I know what might happen next if I even touch the hairs on her body.  She fixed her things first and laid down all the study materials on the table.  We started our chemistry; she explained things for me way easier than our professor did. That dimwit, if he taught like this, his students wouldn’t be failing.

 We were both distant to each other because I didn’t want her freaking out again, but I was already dying inside to ask her numerous questions. This could wait, Kris. You need to earn Nana’s trust . Our study session went by in a jiffy without me complaining or Nana whining in annoyance. It gave me some relief because we can stand each other for two hours without bickering at each other.

               “Kris?” She softly called out.

               “Hmm?” I was too busy fixing the papers

                 “Can you keep a secret?” I turned to her only to realize our faces are only inches away. I felt a thump in my chest. Nana, what are you doing to me?

Sorry for the late update guys! As you know it's the holidays! Merry Chrstmas! And here's a gift to all of you!

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