“Jaemin!”

Jeno was almost out of breath, his chest rose and fell as he took several desperate pants to regain his oxygen intake whilst running all over the place for a few minutes. Jaemin was a fast runner since he did sports and wouldn’t stop no matter how much Jeno told him to but Jeno still tried his hardest not to lag behind. The pained expression on Jaemin's face, when their eyes met briefly earlier as he was with Lami, was still engraved his memory. Why did he look hurt? What happened? Jeno increased his pace— did not care if he ran out of steam or not— and inched forward until he grabbed the other by the wrist. They needed to talk.

“Stop.” Finally, he had gotten a hold of Jaemin. Though it was difficult, he pulled Jaemin until they were behind a nearby building, away from prying eyes, so that they could talk freely and wouldn’t cause a scene. It was already late in the afternoon so there weren’t a lot of high students left in the area.

“Let go of me!” Jaemin shouted, pulled his hand back but it was in vain. Jeno’s grip was strong.

“Not until you tell me what was that all about,” Jeno argued and reeled him in.

But Jaemin was stubborn. “I said, let go of me!”

Jeno would have understood if it was in another circumstance— he would have— but no matter hard he tried analyzing the situation over and over again in his head, he just couldn’t comprehend. Jaemin was behaving like a child, impulsive and irrational, squirming out of Jeno’s touch, shouting, and it irked Jeno to the point that he realized that he had enough. “Jaemin! Stop it!”

“Jaemin! Stop it!

Jaemin was stunned at the sudden raise of tone; he flinched evidently at the sound. Jeno never does that. Jeno’s movement came to stop, both of them did. Jeno had managed to back him up into an unfamiliar building’s wall, Jaemin’s clothed back pressed against the concrete while Jeno stood before him with a menacing face, something Jaemin had never seen before. The grip Jeno had on his wrist was also too tight— it was bound to bruise. Jeno’s eyes flickered in a strange manner and it darkened gradually. Jeno looked mad— really mad. What have I done?

A few seconds fleetingly passed by but neither boys had said something. It was so suffocating, how quiet they were. Jaemin was scared, really frightened, and Jeno might have noticed how Jaemin stiffened after his sudden outburst. Jaemin had his head downcast, afraid to stare at the older. Jeno was guilty. So with a heavy feeling of regret, Jeno retrieved his hand; Jaemin suddenly missed the warmth it emitted when the palm left his regardless of how hard the grasp was. “I’m sorry for shouting,” Jeno apologized in a gentle voice. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

Why is he sorry? Jeno did nothing wrong! The words echoed in Jaemin’s head repeatedly like a broken record and it was sickening the more it lingered in his consciousness. Jaemin was trembling somehow, resentful and embarrassed. He found himself leaning down and was carefully trapped inside Jeno’s arms. Jeno had hugged him. “Calm down, okay?” Jeno whispered in his ear, trying to sooth the younger’s nerves away, caressed soft circles on his back. His breath was hot and Jaemin was shaken.

It took a while before Jaemin finally managed to calm down but Jeno hadn’t let him go before he did. There they stood, awkwardly enclosed the other in a protective embrace. But it was comfortable. When Jaemin’s breathing turned even, Jeno pulled him back by his shoulders, offered a small smile then said, “Now, tell me what’s wrong?”

Jaemin wasn’t sure what to say, how he should act after everything. He was insecure, anxious and definitely clueless. “I’m sorry,” he uttered lowly, Jeno almost hadn’t caught it.

“Sorry for what?”

“For a lot of things,” Jaemin started. “Do you want me to go alphabetically?” It was meant as a joke to ease the tension between them but Jeno didn’t look impressed as Jaemin thought he initially would be. Jaemin pursed his lips into a tight line. “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve put you through— for running away, for pushing you away, for being an insensitive jerk, for everything!” he breathed, “what I did was stupid, I know that now! But it was just— I was so confused.”

Jeno had been listening intently, eyeing Jaemin’s reactions for any slight change and asked, “Confused about?”

“Myself and the feelings I have for you.”

“Jaemin, what do you mean?” Jeno tilted his head to the side in confusion, brows knitted in question.

Was Jaemin going to finally admit what he really felt for Jeno? Is this it?

“I know you don’t want to hear this but bear in mind, I didn’t want this to happen as well— it just did.”

“What?” It hadn’t made the situation less complicated than it already was. Jeno looked genuinely lost. “Jaemin, where are you going with this? You’re confusing me.”

“I— it happened so suddenly, after we became close, or probably even before that, but one day, I just realized that I couldn’t stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try. It was straining, I couldn’t sleep well at night and I stare off in space at day.” Explaining how he really felt was hard, Jaemin knew he was blurting out nonsense and Jeno might not even understand half of it but it had to be done, Jaemin had to let it out before his heart exploded. “I was so confused why it was happening to me— I did not know what to do.” His chest was hurting. Was he going to die? He felt like he was. “I— like y-you!”

Silence soon followed. Jaemin had his eyes closed tightly but he was expecting. Jeno just stood there, hadn’t