Chapter 23: I love you

Say You Won’t Let Go – James Arthur

I'm gonna love you 'til
My lungs give out
I promise 'til death we part like in our vows
So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows
Finally it's just you and me 'til we're grey and old
Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go

A/N: 40 upvotes, thank you guys so much! This means so so much! Upvoter S/O to Soufiyyah! Love you all <3 

Wonwoo chose not to tell Seungcheol about Mingyu. Few agreed: Mingyu wasn’t exactly happy about it, Jihoon thought it was a terrible idea, Jeonghan advised against it, Jisoo said it could ruin any chance of maintaining friendship. But Wonwoo learned long ago that when you were dancing with death, no one could really tell you what to do anymore.

Part of him thought Seungcheol might know, but the dance with death thing was keeping his mouth shut. Either way, as the days grew shorter for Wonwoo, his awake hours shortening, Seungcheol came around more. Wonwoo would love to say that the week leading up to the transplant was fine, cuddling with Mingyu, exchanging kisses in secret.

In reality, it was anything but fine.

Less than a few hours after Jisoo and Jeonghan had come by to alert Wonwoo of the possible pair of lungs, Wonwoo shot straight up on that list to become the number one choice patient for the lungs.

When you’re number-one in the nation for a lung transplant, it isn’t an award. Sure, that means you have the best likelihood of survival, among the sickest. Wonwoo liked to call it being the winner among the losers. Acceptance into the exclusive club that was the top echelon of patients alone required an incredibly high payment. It meant that Wonwoo’s lungs were basically .
 

Thankfully, the pair that Jeonghan and Jisoo had found was in fact a match. However, they found these lungs across the World in the United States. With the help of Jisoo and his estranged parents, Wonwoo was able to nab them. He dealt with the idea better when he thought of the pair of lungs as nothing more than a baseball. The lungs would have to survive a flight of nearly 6000 miles as they were transported from California. Thanks to new technology called “Lungs-in-a-box” that kept lungs breathing post-mortem, the lungs should be able to make the trip. It still meant that Wonwoo still had to make it four more days with his piece of lungs.

Wonwoo had fallen back asleep, in Mingyu’s arms like usual, where he usually had his best sleep, but upon waking at midnight, sweat dripping down his temple, pain erupting through his chest, he realized two things. One: Mingyu wasn’t there, meaning his doctor had kicked Mingyu out. Two: he could no longer breathe. The machine next to Wonwoo started beeping loudly as the panic grew in his chest. His heart raged loudly, pounding as blood attempted to slosh through his veins. The pounding of feet was distant in Wonwoo’s mind as he flailed his arms in front of him.

Anxiety is the most common and often most harmful symptom in those with lung problems.

There is no constant impending feeling of doom like not being able to breath. It’s a burning in your chest you cannot control. Suffocating not due to an evil murdered, no drowning, there’s nothing holding you down. No, it’s you own body that is attacking you. You are your own serial killer, the crashing waves pulling you under, it’s you. You have absolutely no control over your own body. You can do nothing as you feel your body pull away from you. Brain foggy and begging for oxygen, your body pumps full of adrenaline that it cannot use because again, you are not in control.

Wonwoo distantly felt a hand grip his wrist, holding him down. His eyes cried out for help. A pain prickled his inner elbow and his world grew foggy, darkness overcoming it.

He awoke 11 hours later with a massive headache. He leaned over, hand rising to his head, groaning at the pain. A sharp pain cut through his body, vibrating up from his ribs. His eyes opened slowly, the light assaulting his eyes. Pain coursed through his head. He reached over to push the call button. The IV in his hand pulled slightly. There was a small line coming from his ribs.

A hand grasped his hand gentle, “Just a few more days Wonwoo.” Wonwoo smiled, the warmth of the hand and Mingyu’s voice calming him down. He groaned, feeling the pain pulse again, head throbbing. His mind became light again. He felt Mingyu’s lips on his forehead and fell asleep again.

MINGYU POV

Wonwoo had a little less two days left before the lungs would be here. The transplant surgery would begin shortly. Mingyu held onto Wonwoo’s hand. Wonwoo’s hand was cold beneath his.

“At least you aren’t crying this time.” Jihoon said, rolling his eyes from where he sat next to Mingyu. Jihoon would never say it, but Mingyu knew he cared. He knew he was here constantly to support Mingyu.

“You wouldn’t cry if you were in the middle of the championship game would you?” He said softly, knee bouncing as his foot pattered against the floor. He glanced at the clock again. It had been 2 days since Wonwoo was last awake. Mingyu’s eyes rose up to Wonwoo. He’d see Wonwoo look pretty bad before, patted his back as he threw up, but this was definitely something else. Wonwoo had a tube coming from his throat, a catheter going in through his ribs to drain the fluid on his ribs. There was so many wires and tubes across his body, patches across his face to hold more wires.

“I don’t do sports.” Jihoon said flatly. Mingyu cracked a smile. His eyes were dry, and he felt like he hadn’t slept in days. Wonwoo could not get any worse. He just had to wake up before the surgery, or he wouldn’t likely make it through the surgery. They may even take away the lungs if his condition doesn’t improve.

Jeonghan walked in, phone in one hand on his ear. He pulled the phone down, covering it up with his other hand, “The surgery has started!” Jeonghan whispered excitedly. Mingyu nodded. This had to work, it just had to.

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