-Blues-

You seemed to say it without thinking deeply

But it made me to think deeply all night

I think I'm going crazy

Was it just a text you sent because you were drunk?

I wrote the reply for a long time, and erased it

Though, you erased me so easily

Is this a delusion? Nowadays, I see the loneliness

In your pictures which only I can recognize

No, I shouldn't do this

This is what I hope

You only held out your hands when you aren't reachable

You, if you can't come back to me, don't look back

Baby I will try to let go

You, if you don't want me even if you might die, then don't let me breathe

I’m still inside of you

You avoided me because you were afraid to see me randomly

But why are you in everywhere wherever I go nowadays?

I know you are giving me the false hope

But I still want to reach you knowing you are not reachable

You, if you can't come back to me, don't look back

Baby I will try to let go

You, if you don't want me even if you might die, then don't let me breathe

I’m still inside of you

You can live without me. Why do you make me

Painful and crazy

Baby please let me go

Don’t you know

I’m dying

Oh god

If you can’t let me go, come back to me

You, if you can't come back to me, don't look back

Baby I will try to let go

You, if you don't want me even if you might die, then don't let me breathe

I’m still inside of you

Bobby took his headphones off and threw them aside on his bed.  Pain and guilt filter his heart as he closed his eyes.  Hayi’s message to him was pretty clear and he hated himself for doing that to her.  He sent a text message to her not too long ago stating he still loved her and how much he missed her.  He was drunk.  She saw right through him.  A coward.  That’s what he was.  He wasn’t man enough to express his feelings to her face-to-face.  Instead, he expressed his feelings through text messaging.  He never felt so shameful.  

It had been six months since their break up, but it felt like it just happened yesterday.  Their break up took a toll on him physically and mentally.  He was no longer the ‘happy-go-lucky’ Kim Jiwon.  Instead, he was the ‘depressed’ and ‘leave-me-the--alone’ Kim Jiwon. 

Knock!  Knock!  Knock!

“Bobby!  Dinner is ready.  Come and eat!” Hanbin shouted through the door.

He opened his eyes and sighed.  “I’m not hungry.”  His bedroom door opened as his best friend popped his head inside. 

“Dude, are you still sulking over Hayi?”

“Yah, go away.  I want to be alone right now,” he replied, throwing his superman blanket over his head.

Hanbin chuckled.  “Fine, but I just want to let you know that I invited Hayi over for dinner.”

He quickly pulled the blanket off.  “WHAT?!”

“I said, I INVITED HAYI OVER FOR DINNER.” Hanbin repeated, but this time in a louder and obnoxious voice.  He knew his best friend wasn’t over Hayi, and he secretly knew that he wanted her back in his life but his damn pride was getting in the way.  So, being the best friend that he is, he purposely invited her over so they could make up.  It was no surprise to him that she wanted him back too because she was constantly asking about his well-being.  They are both two very important people in his life and he hated being the ‘middle’ person.  They better ing make up or else I’m going to purposely lock them in a room together he thought.

“Yah!  Why did you invite her over?” he questioned, immediately jumping out of his bed and adjusting his clothes.

“Well, I invited her over because I miss her.  With IKON’s packed schedule, I haven’t been able to cook a healthy meal for her to eat.” Hanbin explained, without forgetting to wiggle his eyebrows.

“…y-you miss her?” he stuttered, clearly looking surprised and confused at his reply.  He glared at him and scratched his neck, “Hanbin, do you like her?”

“What do you think?” Hanbin replied, trying his hardest not to laugh at his best friend’s face.  If looks could kill, he would be so dead right now.  His best friend looked like he was ready to sack him in the face for going after his ‘girl.’

Ding dong!

“Ah, good timing!” Hanbin said, quickly exiting out of the room before he received a black eye from him.  “There will be an extra plate on the table IF you decide to join us.”  He closed the door and skipped his way down the hallway.  Hyung, grow some balls and man up. 

10 minutes later

“Where is everyone Hanbin?” Hayi asked, looking around their dorm.  Usually their dorm was filled