DARA’s POV

Jaljayong? Did I just said Jaljayong??!!!!!!!

Oh my god!!! I didn’t just said that!!!!!!!

I didn’t just said goodnight to my ex boyfriend using my endearment to him!!

What have you done Dara!!! Gaaahhh!!!! I screamed inwardly as I threw my phone on my bed and began pulling my hair in frustration.

“Yah! Pabo yah! You already answered the call of your ex-boyfriend and you dare say that to him?!! How could you!!”I told myself as I pace in the middle of my room.

I threw myself on my bed and began kicking in the air to vent out my anger.

It’s too embarrassing!!! Why did I do that? I ignored him last month and then answered his call a month after. What’s with me??!!

I abruptly pushed myself up in a sitting position as realization hit me.

“Wae? What’s wrong with answering Jiyong’s call? What’s wrong with talking to him? It’s not like there’s a law that forbids you to answer your ex-boyfriend’s call? There isn’t right?”

“And besides, I’m just doing what Bom wants me to do. I’m just being civil with Jiyong. Yup, that’s right. You’re just being civil with Jiyong, Dara-yah. You’re not doing anything wrong.” I nodded my head in agreement to my statement as I convince myself.

“And oh, I’m just being a supportive noona to her dongsaeng, a supportive hoobae to her sunbae and a supportive member of YG family. That’s right!”

“I’m a VIP after all. I’m their first fan. It’s just natural for a fan to support her idol.”

I kept on mumbling reasons to prove my actions and to convince myself that what I’ve done is something a normal person, nope scratch that, a normal EX-(let’s emphasize that word) girlfriend would do.

I picked up my phone and look at my call log where Jiyong’s name was on top of the list.

“3 hours. We had a conversation for 3 hours?” my eyebrows rose up in amazement as I look closely to my phone.

“Ani-ani! It’s more like we’ve talked for an hour and I left him in the middle of our conversation and slept for 2 hours. Nope, scratch that too. I didn’t left him; rather he stayed on the line to listen to my breathing?”

“Tsch, why would he do that? Seriously this guy, what’s with him? What’s with the sudden call? What’s this all about??”

Questions began flooding in my mind as I rack my head for reasons why Jiyong suddenly called me. It’s been a year since we broke up and ever since then we never talked again. So his sudden phone call was really a mystery to me right now.

Was it because he’s tired? If he is why would he call me? I mean we’re no longer together. He did used to call me before every time he’s stressed out at work. Well, he used to say that I’m his stress reliever. But I don’t think I still own that position in his life right now. Someone else must have owned that spot now.

The last sentence sends a painful tug in my heart. It still hurts to know that someone else has taken over my place in Jiyong’s heart and it still hard to accept that the reason why our 5 year relationship ended was because he left me for another girl.

I grasped my front shirt as I felt a painful squeeze in my heart. “You really are crazy Dara. How were you able to have a friendly conversation with him earlier and ended up hurting after?”

I admit, while I was talking with Jiyong earlier, my cold heart suddenly felt warm. It surprisingly felt warm like it used to before. It must have recognized Jiyong’s voice. My pathetic heart still beats for the same person who has caused it to be broken into pieces. It still flutters just by hearing Jiyong’s laughter.

It’s funny how the same person could break and make your heart. What’s even funnier was my pathetic self who couldn’t even bring herself to drop the call cause admit or not, she misses talking to her ex-boyfriend.

That’s me. That’s how pathetic and crazy I am. Talking with my ex-boyfriend like nothing happened. Having a friendly conversation with him like he never hurt me at all.

A drop of water suddenly falls to the screen of my phone that made me look up to the ceiling of my room but surprise to see that there isn’t any trace of water coming from it. I look down again to my phone and saw that my screen’s wet with droplets of water now. It took me a minute to realize that the water didn’t come from the ceiling but was produced by the tears that continuously fall from my eyes. I didn’t know I’ve been crying until I touch my wet cheeks and saw my tear streaked face on the mirror.

“Yah, pabo-yah, why are you crying now?” I asked myself as I look at my pathetic self in the mirror hanging across my bed and wipe away the tears from my eyes.

I don’t know why I’m still hurting now. It’s been a year since then and I did everything I could to move on.

 I’ve moved on.

I though I’ve moved on. I thought that I have changed myself. I thought I’ll never be affected again by Jiyong.

But I thought wrong.

Cause here I am crying again because of him. Why does it still hurt?

 My thoughts were interrupted when I suddenly heard soft knocks coming from my bedroom’s door. The door slowly swung open and I saw my brother Cheondong behind it. From where he’s standing which was by the door, he scanned my room as if looking for something before he settled his eyes on me. He inclined his head a little to the right and furrows his eyebrows like he was thinking of something.

Before he could focus his eyes on me, I immediately wipe the remaining tears in my eyes and compose myself.

“Wae?” I asked him.

“Nothing, I just thought you were talking to someone.” Was his immediate reply.

“Na? (Me?)” I asked pointing at myself.

“Ne (Yes), I heard you talking to someone as I passed by your room earlier. And I think I heard you utter a name that is strictly forbidden to be spoken of in this house.” Cheondong said as he lean his back against the door frame of my bedroom’s door.

Omo, I forgot, Jiyong’s name is a taboo in this house. Pabo yah, how could you forget? I mentally scolded myself as I remember uttering his name like hundreds of times earlier.

Well, after our dramatic break-up last year, my mother was one of t