Kihyun had called him in advance so when they’d made it to the hospital their manager had been outside waiting for them. And he’d immediately pointed out that having four of them there would make it much more likely that they would be spotted than if it was just Hyunwoo so Changkyun, Jooheon and Kihyun had all been ordered back to the taxi. Changkyun hadn’t been too happy about this, the reason he’d come in the first place was to make sure Hyunwoo was okay, to be there for him if he needed any emotional support, he could hardly do that if he was back at the dorm, and he’d been about to protest. As it turned out though no protest had been necessary because when their manager had turned back to Hyunwoo he’d noticed the pure terror in his eyes and he’d sighed and told him he could pick one of them to stay, but just one. He didn't want to risk the story getting out before they'd decided how to handle it, not if he could help it so one was the best he could do.

And Changkyun had thought Hyunwoo would pick Kihyun. Kihyun was older, more reliable, they’d been friends longer. But Hyunwoo hadn’t picked Kihyun, the name he’d mumbled to their manager had been Changkyun’s. Surprised, Changkyun had said his goodbyes to Jooheon and Kihyun and stepped away from the taxi. Hyunwoo wanted him to stay, he wanted his support. He was sure Kihyun was the better choice for that kind of thing but Changkyun felt touched nonetheless. It was nice, having someone put that kind of faith in you.

So Kihyun and Jooheon were headed back to the dorm to do some damage control, they’d been ordered by their manager to spin the others a story about Hyunwoo’s ankle bothering him so they wouldn’t worry when they woke up to find him gone and Changkyun was standing in the corridor trying to figure out how the coffee machine worked while Hyunwoo changed into some hospital issue pyjamas in the bathroom.

He was still trying to work out what button did what their manager came striding out into the corridor looking harried.

“Did you want sugar?” Changkyun asked. He didn’t think he’d been out there that long, the stress of the day must be making the older man impatient he decided.

“He won’t come out.”

That hadn’t been the response Changkyun had been expecting and he found he didn’t really have a reply.

But it seemed their manager wasn’t waiting for a reply. “The nurse told him they had the ultrasound ready.” He continued. “And now he’s locked the bathroom door and he’s refusing to come out.”

“Why?” Changkyun asked, confused. The whole reason they'd come to the hospital in the first place was to make sure the baby was okay, getting Hyunwoo an ultrasound was the best way to do that.

“I don’t know.” Their manager told him, sounding more stressed by the second. “We keep asking him what the matter is but he won’t say. We thought if you tried you might get more sense out of him.”

“I don’t know about that.” Changkyun said as he followed him into Hyunwoo’s room. “If he won’t talk to you then I don’t see why he’d talk to me.” Okay, so their manager hadn’t exactly hidden how unhappy he was about the situation but he’d been with them long enough for Hyunwoo to know that he wouldn’t be able to keep that up. He’d been with them since debut, he was someone they all trusted. If Hyunwoo wouldn’t tell him what the matter was then Changkyun didn’t think he was going to tell anybody.

“Just try.” Their manager pleaded as he pushed him towards the bathroom door. “There must be a reason he asked you to stay over the others. So talk to him, please. If there is something wrong we need to know so we can help him.”

Changkyun really hoped there wasn’t something wrong. If something happened to the baby now then there was no way Hyunwoo would ever forgive himself. So hoping against all hope that Hyunwoo was just taking some time to pull himself together Changkyun knocked on the door.

There was no reply.

Changkyun knocked again, trying not to panic. “Hyung.” He said this time, hoping to get a response. “It’s me.”

This time he was met with a hoarse “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” Changkyun asked, relief washing over him. When Hyunwoo had failed to say anything when he’d first knocked he couldn’t help thinking the worst. “You’ve got everyone worried.” He told him. “You need to come out so they can check you over properly, you and the baby.”

“I’m not coming out.” Hyunwoo told him. “I’m okay, I promise. I just… I just can’t. Not yet.”

Changkyun sighed, frustration mounting. Why was he so bad at letting people help him? “Well if you won’t come out… can you let me in?” he asked next. There was no guarantee that talking to him face to face would go any better but it would surely be easier to make him see sense if they weren’t talking to each other through the bathroom door.

For a moment it seemed like Hyunwoo wasn’t going to answer him but then he heard the bathroom lock click. Changkyun carefully pushed open the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind him and turning the lock. The last thing he needed was their manager barging in and ruining things. Hyunwoo had been on the verge  of a mental breakdown for weeks now, they needed to tread carefully. “So.” He said, turning to look at his hyung, eyebrows raised. “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” Hyunwoo said, his voice small. He looked small too, which was quite a feat considering his height and stature. Maybe it was because the pyjamas he’d been given were slightly too big for him or maybe it was because he’d backed himself into the corner, his arms crossed over his chest as if he was trying to shrink in on himself. Whatever the reason Changkyun didn’t like it. He'd seen Hyunwoo in various states of emotional distress over the last few weeks but seeing him look so fragile still wasn’t something he was used to.

“Are you going to talk about it?” he asked, trying not to sound too pushy. From experience he knew that pushing Hyunwoo into talking about things when he wasn’t ready got you nowhere.

“Yeah, yeah I guess.” Hyunwoo said with a sigh, hugging himself tighter. “I just… I can’t go out there. I can’t face that ultrasound.”

“Because it’ll make it real…” Changkyun guessed, that had been a familiar theme recently, Hyunwoo not wanting things to be real.

But to his surprise Hyunwoo shook his head. “No, that’s not it.” He told him, dropping his good arm, his hand going to rest on his stomach. “Things feel pretty real right now.” He admitted, his eyes going to where his hand was resting. “It’s just what if there’s something wrong with the baby?” he asked, voice wavering.

“There’s nothing wrong with the baby.” Changkyun told him, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

But Hyunwoo saw right through him. “You can’t know that.” He told him. “There might be. And if there is something wrong it’s going to be my fault. The baby isn’t even here yet and I’ve been a terrible parent. I haven’t been eating properly or sleeping properly.”

“You can’t help that.” Changkyun argued, trying to make him feel better. And he couldn’t, not really. He couldn’t help it if he had terrible morning sickness. He couldn’t help worrying to the point where he couldn't sleep.

“Maybe not.” Hyunwoo admitted. “But carrying on as normal, trying to pretend that they don’t exist… I didn’t have to do that. But I did. And then I had to go and throw myself down a flight of stairs. If I have hurt the baby I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Changkyun didn’t even want to contemplate the thought. If there was something wrong with the baby then it would break Hyunwoo, he knew it, and he didn’t think there’d be any putting him back together again. But saying so wasn’t going to help. “The only way to find out if the baby is okay is to let them do the ultrasound.” He said instead, trying to be the voice of reason. He was really missing having Jooheon there as back up. He was good at the whole calm and collected thing. “And if it isn’t, if there is something wrong, then we’ll deal with it then, okay?”

But it seemed what he’d said was enough because Hyunwoo was nodding. “Okay.” He said. “Okay. You’re right. Hiding in here, that isn’t going to help.”

“No, it isn’t.” Changkyun agreed, glad Hyunwoo had decided to listen to him. If he hadn’t then he was sure their manager’s next course of action would have been to drag Hyunwoo out of there by force and he really didn’t need that kind of stress. “Now come on,” he said, taking Hyunwoo by the arm so he didn’t have to put so much weight on his ankle, “let’s go before they start knocking on the door again.”

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Hyunwoo had been weighed and measured and poked and prodded and now he was lying back, his pyjama shirt pulled up to his chest, trying not to flinch as the ultrasound technician spread the gel across his bare abdomen. Changkyun was sitting on a stool beside the bed and he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Hyunwoo didn’t have a bump yet, not exactly, but his stomach definitely looked rounder. He didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed before. But then it wasn’t enough of a difference to show through his clothes and while Hyunwoo had seemed happy enough getting changed with them backstage, well that had been speed changing, it had been one shirt off and another on in the space of seconds. No one had a chance to spot the start of a baby bump.

Hyunwoo, looking up and realising where Changkyun’s eyes were focussed, started to go red. “I know.” He said. “It’s weird.”

“It’s not weird.” Changkyun said quickly, embarrassed at being caught staring. “It’s just different.”

“Different.” Hyunwoo echoed, a ghost of a smile on his face. “Yeah, it is different. I’m going to look ridiculous when I really start to show though.”

Changkyun tried to imagine Hyunwoo being heavily pregnant and automatically found himself smiling. Hyunwoo was huggable enough already, the thought of him wearing a big sweater, all baby bump and chubby cheeks was just too cute. “I don’t know, I think it’s going to suit you.” He said.

Hyunwoo didn’t look convinced but the didn’t get the chance to argue because the technician was back. “Let’s have a look then, shall we?” She said and she pressed the ultrasound probe to Hyunwoo’s lower abdomen.

And Hyunwoo and Changkyun both raised their eyes to the ultrasound screen.

There was nothing to show, not at first, just flickers of black and white. And then the image started to steady and come into focus.

“Is that…” Hyunwoo breathed, eyes widening.

“Your baby?” the technician finished for him, a smile on her face. “Yes, it is.”

Hyunwoo looked like he couldn’t quite believe it. Changkyun could relate. He couldn’t quite believe it either. He’d been expecting a blurry, black and white image. A vaguely baby shaped blob maybe. But what they were looking at, it was clearly a person, a tiny person. “Those are arms.” He found himself saying.

“Yes they are.” The technician noted, sounding amused. “And there,” she said, pointing at the screen, “that’s your baby’s foot.”

As they watched the tiny baby on the screen stretched out one arm and then brought it back in again, curling in on itself.

“It’s moving.” Hyunwoo said, looking dazed, “the baby’s moving. That’s a good thing right?” he said, turning to look at the technician, his hand finding Changkyun’s “That means she’s okay.”

“Yes.” The technician told him, “It’s a good thing. I know you were worried, that your fall earlier might have hurt her, but she’s pretty well protected in there. And as you can see, she seems to be doing just fine.”

“Good.” Hyunwoo said, his grip tightening on Changkyun’s hand as he looked back at the screen. “That’s good.”

And Changkyun could only nod in agreement. They still had to worry about what the company would say, about what they were going to do next but the baby was okay and that was the most important thing.

~~~

Here you are guys. A new chapter. Finally. I hope you like it.