May 31st, 2016

9h00 PM

It was night. I had to take a break from homeworks. So, I took my phone and jumped in my bed. There was this essay for Physics that I had to start, but I didn't find a subject yet. So, to have an idea of what to take, I asked a lot of my friends if they had a subject even Jihun. Most of them replied that they didn't find a subject yet. But, Jihun did have one. It didn't really surprised me, but I didn't understand how he found one this fast. Anyway, I really needed a break because I started to have an headache. I closed my phone and looked at the ceiling. I turned my head to look at my room. There was fortune cookies' messages that I've got during a lunch in a buffet with my friends on my nightstand near my bed. I took one of them.

"Your life becomes more and more an adventure."

I didn't know what it meant and if I had to believe it. Usually, I wouldn't believe this kind of things, but the other messages I've gotten were true. It gave me goosebumps. One of them was: "Someone who you want to see is sitting next to you." It was true because I was sitting next to Youjin and I had feelings for him at that moment. And the other message was: "You'll change for the better." I guessed that I had to forget my feelings for Youjin, but I wasn't sure if the message meant that. Anyway, I was just staring at the third message that I had in my hands. It made me think that dramas won't be finished soon.

I thought more about my life. It was a pretty normal one. No drama, no traumatizing events, it was an ordinary life. It was ordinary until the end of my before last year of high school. My friends and me had a big project to do for English class at that time. And we had to see each other almost every day to work on it. Youjin was in our group. So, we became closer. I met him first in my second year of high school. We were friends, but we didn't get to talk much. But, with that project, we talked much more and I began to have feelings for him. I didn't tell him at first, but they were growing slowly. One day, Youjin was randomly spamming me with messages. I didn't why he was doing it. But, I retaliated by saying that I had feelings for him and that I loved him. I made it like I was joking him. Some days later, I couldn't stand hiding those feelings anymore. So, I've decided to confess to Youjin. But, I did one of the most stupid confessions ever. I've sent him a message instead of saying it face-to-face. But, I wanted to confess to him without breaking our friendship. So, I said to him that I wanted to stay friends with him. He replied that he understood and that it would take time to digest it. I understood him. Later, we talked about it, but it became a little bit awkward between us. It was normal and I couldn't do anything about it except feeling bad for what happened.

2 weeks later, it was summer break. I talked a little bit to him through social medias. We had some fights and argued a little bit, but these disagreements seemed settled. 2 months later, our last year of high school began. During the months that followed, we had so many fights and we became more and more awkward. Now, I realized that it was my fault. I was too immature to understand and to know what I could do and what I couldn't. I've never fallen in love with someone so much before Youjin, I had some little crushes, but they weren't really special. So, it was my first time dealing with that kind of situation. Months later, Youjin and I got the biggest fight we've ever had. One day, some classes from our school went to a theater to see a documentary for Korean class. And I've heard that Youjin was holding the hand of a girl. I asked him about it and if he liked her. He told me that he had a mixed feelings for her and that he would never date her, but I knew it wasn't true. I was trying to be reasonable at that moment, but I was so down. Sadness and frustration were blinding me. I annoyed him and he gave up. He blocked me on social media and din't want to talk to me anymore. But, some days later, he unblocked me and sent me a message saying that he wanted to settle everything to free his mind of all trouble. It didn't go really well. I learned that the girl who Youjin was holding her hand was actually his girlfriend (well his ex now). I didn't really feel anything when I learned it, but I felt my heart sink. At the end of our conversation, Youjin said that he could only talk to me through social media. He wasn't ready to talk to me normally. But, we've got used to talk normally step by step.

2 weeks later, we seemed comfortable talking to each other. And we had a private discussion with Youjin's girlfriend too, just to settle everything. And, it went well. I've got a little bit used of their couple, still, it annoyed me a little bit though. Later, Youjin and I had a project we had to finish. He went to my house to work on it. This was the moment I lost my first kiss. We were working in my bedroom at my desk. At one point, our eyes ended up meeting. He leaned his head closer to mine. I didn't know how to react. I felt unable to move. His lips touched mine. I was so shocked by this that I felt unconcious. When he removed his lips from mine, he looked at me. I was still in the same position, petrified from what happened. It was true that it was something that I wanted to do with him, but knowing he had a girlfriend at that moment.. I had a storm in my head. Once Youjin started to realize what he did, he packed his things. He said to forget what happened and went home. I didn't know how to react. I asked him why he did that on our chatbox. He replied to stop talking about it. Since I didn't want to live any drama with him again, I just stopped asking about it, but this event just stayed stucked in my head. It was giving me an headache to understand why he did that, but I knew I would never know why.. And he acted like nothing happened...

As weeks were flying away, a problem seemed to have occured in Youjin's couple. It seemed minor though. It was one of the problems that lead to their break up. I didn't know the whole story, but just the little bits I've heard. It was, actually, Youjin's (ex-)girlfriend that told me first that there was a problem. She told me that Youjin wanted to take his distances with her. When I asked Youjin about it, he told me that his girlfriend was too sticky. He hated skinship while she loved skinship. But, I thought that it wasn't going to affect much their couple. The situation, later, got better, but went down really quickly. Youjin just told me that he didn't have feelings for his girlfriend anymore, but I didn't really know why. And it finished by the messages I've gotten about their breakup. Couldn't believe this story, but it happened. Later, he told me that another girl confessed to him, but it wasn't linked. I didn't know why he mentioned that if it wasn't linked. Maybe he didn't want to admit that he had feelings for this other girl. He might have lied to me, but I didn't care about it anymore...

Meanwhile all this break-up story, Jihun came to my eyes. He was the person that helped me forget that I had problems. And that's why I tried to get closer to him.. I wanted to forget that I had feelings for Youjin by focusing on Jihun. I thougth that maybe all this time I've had feelings for him, but I was just blinded by Youjin. I didn't know. I didn't think he was a, what we call, "rebound"*. But it's true that he helped me through the story I had with Youjin.

The first time I met Jihun was last year. We were in the same Math class. The first time I saw him, I've thought that he was attractive and handsome, but we didn't have interactions at all so I didn't know how his personality was. The only time we did have interactions was when I had a murder mystery volunteer work to do for an extracurricular activity. He was one of the players. I was surprised that, at that time, he remembered my name. But, I thought that he just had a good memory. I didn't see him or think of him until this year. In this last year of high school, I've gotten more classes with him. I wasn't really paying attention to him, but I thought he became more handsome. We had some little interactions, but my feelings for Youjin were blocking me from having some for Jihun. They really did blind me. And the days following the one that Youjin blocked me, Jihun began to talk to me more. I thought that it was maybe a sign from life to move on from Youjin. But, I didn't really believe these kinds of things. And the following days, I've became a little bit closer to Jihun. When I drew him, it seemed like my feelings for him that were deeply hidden in me jumped out of their hiding place and tried to battle the ones I had for Youjin. I felt like there was a battle inside of me for a long time. And now that my feelings for Youjin got weaker, Jihun seemed the only guy that I loved now. But, I didn't want to live again what I lived with Youjin's. So, I would just let things go the way they would. And I would make sure that I don't make the same things I did with Youjin. Also, since that moment, I often wanted to draw him in my notebooks and all that. But, I would look too pathetic doing so in my opinion. So, I didn't really draw him, but I did drew him sometimes. He was giving me this strange effect..

Anyway, now, that things were getting better, I didn't really know how my life could get more adventurous. Maybe it didn't mean love, I didn't know. Maybe it was something about Jihun, but I would be really surprised if so. While thinking about this, I just realized something. Should I confess to Jihun one day? I wasn't sure, especially since I didn't know his ual orientation. But, I was just too tired to really think about it. I closed my eyes and ended up sleeping...

END OF CHAPTER 6

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Author's Note:

This has to be the longest chapter I ever wrote in my life..So, this time, it's really just descriptions. This chapter explains Seungjun's thoughts about his life when it became more dramatic. It also explains more in details what happened between Seungjun and Youjin. Also, it helps to understand (I hope) what happened between Youjin and his girlfriend. This chapter explained how Seungjun felt about Jihun and how they first met, I wrote this type of chapter now because I realized that the story was missing a lot of explained background story (thanks to a subscriber pointing it out). And if you feel that something is wrong or if you know how I can somehow get this fanfic better, don't be shy to leave a comment. Just be sure to be constructive. For now, I'm sorry if I've disappointed you with my fanfic (I'm not really specialized in writing as an excuse...), but I'll try to make it better. And sorry if this chapter is discouraging you because of its length, I understand. It might be the only chapter this long, but I'm not sure yet. I just tried to write everything that went in my head to explain the back story. So, I hope you'll like it! And I'm sorry if there's parts that you didn't understand. I'm not quite good at explaining, I did as I could. Also, there are some points that were already explained in previous chapters, but I've put them just to understand the chapter better. Anyway, see ya later~ :)

P.S:

*If you don't what is a rebound. It is someone you use to get over your ex, even though you still have feelings for them. But, in this case, I referred it as Jihun taking Youjin's place in Seungjun's heart because the latter was trying to move on from Youjin.