“We do not suffer by accident” – Jane Austen

Heechul played with Minho’s Xbox while the other boy was doing his homework in the desk. Taeyeon lost in her thoughts didn’t know how to tell them what was on her mind. She was thinking about the things she did with Jessica the other day. She smiled when she remembered the kiss Jessica gave her, but the moment she would never forget was when they were on top the Ferris wheel and the lights of the city reflected in her eyes, combined with the wind, her pretty smile and their intertwined hands resulted the most beautiful thing she ever experienced. Taeyeon was happy just making the girl smile.

But it was wrong. Taeyeon felt delusional just thinking about the idea of dating Jessica. She knew that it was impossible that Jessica could return the feelings, maybe Heechul said that she looked at her in a different way, and maybe she was her only friend and sometimes they would act like a couple… but that’s something that most of the girls do, right?

When Taeyeon was eleven years old she would do drawings for a girl and secretly put them under the other girl’s desk. Hannah used to tell everyone about the secret admirer that send her the most amazing drawings. She believed that the person who send them was the cutest boy ever.

 Hannah didn’t like Taeyeon for being boyish, so she used to show off her gifts to her. Taeyeon pretended to be hurt, but inside she was pleased because the girl liked her drawings.

Now she felt like that with Jessica. Not that she hated her, but maybe the part that she will keep her feelings to herself, having a crush on her in secret, like she did with Hannah.  In her mind was the idea that Jessica will never like her in that way.

-I like her- Taeyeon declared.

The boys stopped the things they were doing. Heechul paused the game and Minho accidentally threw his pen.  They were silent for a second until Heechul screamed and jumped next to her.

Sometimes he was like a fangirl watching their idols on TV, Taeyeon swore.

-Who is it? – Minho was the first to speak.

-I think she’s talking about the ice princess – Heechul winked. – am I right?

Minho had this expressionless face she couldn’t figure out what it meant. Perhaps he’s the one who worry the most about her, like a brother. They knew each other since they were kids, and maybe that’s the reason he acts like that way. Heechul may be the loyal one, the guy who would do everything for their friends, but Minho was the conscience of the group, always making you think twice about the things you will do.

Taeyeon nodded admitting that Heechul was indeed right.

-It doesn’t matter though – Taeyeon looked down – It’s never gonna happen.

-Don’t come with the negative crap – Heechul threw a pillow at her. – How can you be so sure?

-What do you want me to do then? Confess to her? – Taeyeon saw how Heechul assented. She groaned in frustration. No way, she wouldn’t do that. – Maybe she doesn’t even like girls

-She doesn’t have to like girls – Minho shrugged. - Only you.

-He’s right and that’s why I ship it – Heechul stood up and drew a big heart on Jessica’s name on the whiteboard. Taeyeon rolled her eyes. Then Heechul walked to her a grabbed her shoulders looking at her with a stern face. -Are you afraid of rejection? Fine! And so is everyone else. I know she will be your friend no matter what. But at least you can try telling her that you like girls and see how she takes it. Look at us! We were fine with it.

-You can try it, if you are really sure that you like her – Minho suggested.

-Not everyone is like you guys and I don’t want to lose her. Maybe it’s better if we just stay friends.

-Life is about taking risks, you will either lose or win. – Heechul patted her head.

-What are you going to do? – Minho asked.

-Maybe I’ll wait and see if she give me hints

-I don’t know about that, you can be blind sometimes – Heechul mumbled

-I heard you – She pushed him.

-Well… it’s true.

-I don’t want to make the same mistake again – She whispered the last part.

-What do you mean? I told you, we were fine with it. – Heechul frowned

-She isn’t talking about us. – Minho realized

-I told someone long before telling you guys. It didn’t end well though.

-But it doesn’t mean that it won’t work with the next person – Heechul said.

Minho had the feeling of knowing the person that Taeyeon was talking about. He knew that she changed a lot when it happened. Taeyeon never talked about the topic because it still hurts her, and he didn’t want to open her wound.

Her next words confirmed his thoughts.

-It was Tiffany – She said.

Heechul was surprised, he wasn’t expecting that. For a moment he didn’t know what to say, just waiting for her to continue the story.

Taeyeon began to explain why the two girls won’t talk again to each other. First she told them why their friendship seemed so especial at that time, like it would never end. For her, telling the worst part of the story was like drinking vodka. Burning through .

The boys couldn’t believe that Taeyeon was talking about the same person they met. But now they understand why Taeyeon treated her in that way. Minho felt something off about it. Tiffany always supported Taeyeon even for the smallest things. She used to go to all of her competitions on skateboarding. She helped her on her tests and she even called her at night when Taeyeon had nightmares, and sometimes they would talk until the sunrise.

So why Tiffany would do that to Taeyeon?

-…And when you least expect the person you thought would never betray you, actually do it. – Taeyeon finished.

-Taeyeon…-Minho started to talk but Heechul