How could it still be sunny at seven p.m. he couldn’t comprehend. Kyungsoo had chosen to wear his favorite shirt, the one that read “My life is My life”, tucked into some ripped skinny jeans he rarely used but that were a present from Baekhyun, so he knew it would please the both of them. At night he preferred to use his round glasses so he left his contacts at home and he had pushed up his hair with a touch of gel, so that they couldn’t blind him while walking.

The parking lot was full, not so much with cars, but with people, everybody excited and happy to be there that night. There were a lot of pleasing noises, laughs and singing, so Kyungsoo instantly relaxed. He found his friends near Chanyeol’s car: they were wearing couple Star Wars t-shirts, one leaned on the other, smiling like no one else.

"Hey! Somebody got cool all of a sudden" exclaimed Baekhyun, only to receive a playful punch on the shoulder.

"Where is Jongin?" asked Kyungsoo "He was supposed to meet with us at…"

His words got lost somewhere between his eyes and the person who had suddenly capture them: Jongin was stunning, his hair bleached blonde, wrapped in a white elegant shirt and some blue tight pants, his eyes painted black, deep as the ocean.

-Hi guys, I hope I’m not too late. My roommate insisted it was time for a hair change-

"You look gorgeous" said Chanyeol, having in response a nudge in the stomach from his boyfriend and making Jongin laugh.

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything, just stared at the young man with his big deer eyes. He could hear many girls squeaking in the distance at the dancer and how to blame them? Jongin was like a star, shining his beautiful light on the nearest persons, so naturally everybody wanted to be close to him, but somehow darkness in that moment felt more appealing, safer. The tall boy however didn’t leave him any choice, putting an arm around his neck and guiding him, behind Chanyeol and Baekhyun, to the ticket booth.

"I didn’t know you wore glasses" he said with a smirk.

"I usually prefer contacts, but at night they become uncomfortable. Sometimes, when I forget to wear them I have to make weird faces to see clearly; Chanyeol loves to tease me about this"

Jongin laughed a little, like a kid enjoying his day with friends. Kyungsoo relaxed his tense shoulders and joined the other two in front of them. At the ticket both there was a senior of another major, Kyungsoo remembered his name was Jongdae, that, instead of giving away tickets, took out a black sharpie and wrote something on the back of the hand of each person who was going through.

"There are only two rules today" explained the boy with a sneaky smile "Use the nickname I gave you as your real name and make some friends. Enjoy your night"

Kyungsoo looked at his hand and his lips curved upward: Kkumsoo (DreamSoo). Apparently his dreamer boy condition was known all over college. Somewhere behind him he heard Baekhyun shout:

"Chen I’m going to kill you with a chainsaw"

His scream followed by Chanyeol loud laughter attracted many students’ attention. Kyungsoo slid next to his best friend and asked:

"What’s up with him?"

Chanyeol was literally on the ground, patting his stomach because of the excess of hilarity.

"Jongdae gave him the nickname bacon"

Kyungsoo coughed in surprise, putting a hand in front of his mouth not to show he also was laughing at that point.

"What did you get?"

His best friend appeared to have regained his composure and answered:

"Yeollie. Nothing too special. And you, Jongin?"

"Nini. I have no idea where that came from" responded the dancer, looking perplexed at his hand.

"You know Jongdae, he is a weird one, always ready to pull pranks on people. Now, if I can regain possess of my boyfriend, shall we go find a place to sit?"

And so they did. The students had built a huge stage in the middle of the beach, so that the audience could sit on the sand and enjoy the pleasing sound of the ocean’s waves and also the performance. They chose to roll out their own towel right in front of the main stage, to have the best view.

Chanyeol was laying with his head on his boyfriend’s stomach, smiling like a puppy, making Kyungsoo happy on reflection. Jongin however was uncomfortable: he kept stealing glances at his companion, not sure where to put his hands or if he had to shift his body to be closer or more distant from him. A text saved him from his thoughts:

"I’m here. Alone. Surrounded by airheaded girls. This is a major failure"

Jongin chuckled and quickly digited:

"Don’t lose your spirit. The Oh Sehun I know can do this and even more. The guy at the entrance gave me the nickname Nini. Super weird. What did you get?"

"That peasant!! He wrote Hunbun on my hand and it won’t wash off. Next time I see him, he is dead meat"

Hunbun.

He was never going to call him any other way from now on.

He put away his phone and glanced up, only to find his eyes locked with the dream boy’s ones.

"You are laughing quite a lot at your phone" he said, trying not to sound too curious.

"Oh, just one of my friends who got a terrible nickname, even worse than Baekhyun’s"

"Wow, that means it must be something super embarrassing"

"Bingo. I’m going to call him like that till the end of time"

"You’re an awful friend"

The two laughed together. Time spent with one another seemed lighter, as if air had decided to be fizzier, sounds gentler, silence less haunting.

Suddenly, all the lights were turned off and a speaker, the music professor, at the center of the stage started introducing the various artist who would perform shortly thereafter. Kyungsoo knew some names, but only by reputation; Baekhyun on the other hands, appeared to know everyone. He was indeed more sociable than him and enjoyed the company of many. The singer preferred having bonds with less people possible, to make them strong ones.

And the show started, in a kaleidoscope of lights and sounds, feet hovering in the air and fast dance moves. Kyungsoo found himself leaning increasingly over Jongin shoulder, little by little as he felt fatigue trying to take over his body. At last, he lost and his rested his head on the dancer’s muscled shoulder, not even disturbed by the peaceful sensation that the contact with his body transmitted to his brain.

Jongin’s heart, however, almost skipped a beat. Kyungsoo’s skin was smooth and fresh, light as the moonlight, like a creature who only gets up at night. He could picture him: as the stars started shining he would get up and stretch his legs under their light, looking at the moon with his eyes full of dreams. A hand moved on her own and latched herself on the young man’s waist, settling the two boys in a comfortable position.

"And now" announced the speaker "Since that brat of my N.1 student refused to sing, we’ll have a performance by the other rising star of the college: Lulu"

Kyungsoo almost choked on his laughter, followed shortly by his friends.

"Did he just called you a brat?" asked Baekhyun, cracking up loudly.

"I’m pretty sure he did. But something is off: I almost never missed a singing lesson and I’ve never seen or heard that singer on stage now"

"First time for me also" said Chanyeol "Maybe he is taking private lesson"

"Maybe" said Kyungsoo, not sounded to convinced, but he didn’t care that much so he let it slide.

The guy was talented, that was for sure. His voice was very high pitched but tuned perfectly and had a beautiful undertone, which made it sound ier. Kyungsoo seemed unfazed by the low and raw notes, lost in his thoughts as ever, but Chanyeol had started caressing his boyfriend’s hand, eyes glued to his.

"I think it’s best if we go find something to drink" whispered the dancer into Kyungsoo’s ear, who caught up immediately and agreed.

"Do you think we are too obvious?" asked Baekhyun, watching his friends stand up and go.

"Definitely" grinned his boyfriend, capturing his lips in a light kiss "But they are cute together, so who cares"

"You’re right. Wanna go home and watch something on my couch?"

"Sure. Watch something" he grinned "I’ll text Jongin and ask him if he can drive Kyungsoo home"

"Now who is the match maker?" asked Baekhyun, an eyebrow suggestively raised.

"Oh, quiet you"

And the two kissed again, under the starry sky. Even after all the fights, the homeless nights, the doubts, they were still in love like the first day. And that was all that mattered to them.

Kyungsoo was already heading for the realms of dreams, but he couldn’t fall asleep on the beach, so as he went with Jongin to order something at the self-raised kiosk he asked for a big cup of black coffee, hoping it would bring back the wakeful sensation.

"Here you go" said Jongin, passing him a big plastic mug that burned like hell.

"Thank you. Normally something this hot on a summer day would be nauseous for me, but I’m too sleepy right now to resist 'till the end of the concert"

He leaned onto the cup, trying not to burn his tongue, making funny faces as he attempted his first sip. Jongin was finding hard not to stare at him: was he being that cute on purpose? Probably not, he would have been surprised if Kyungsoo knew even half of the things that were happening around him, but still. It should have been illegal to be that… squishy. 

The dancer felt his phone buzzing twice in his pants’ pocket: Chanyeol had texted him almost the same instant Yixing had.

-Hey, we are going back home to see some movies. Can you please drive Kyungsoo home? When he gets sleepy it’s better to not leave him alone. Thnx, Chan-

-Jongin, I’m sorry but Song’s house is getting renovated. Can you please come home as late as you can? I’ll treat you to dinner tomorrow, I promise-

 He replied immediately at Chanyeol saying there were no problems, he didn’t live far off from the location he had sent him, but Yixing’s text just had him sigh. He knew that, in the past, he had been in a very serious relationship with a girl he loved to the moon and back and that they were even planning on marrying not too far in the future, but that the girl had left him for another man.

"She said I was with her all the time but never listened; too clingy and at the same time never there. But I always heard everything she said, every movement she made, I knew it all. Maybe I was too immersed into my new found work or studying, but I never thought I was being a bad boyfriend" Jongin remembered the tears "How could I love her so much I don’t know, but I did. Now what am I going to do? Jongin I’m going to be alone forever"

And then the one-night stand girls started.

-Sure mate, everything you want, but be careful. - he wrote.

The response was immediate.

-Always-

Be careful to not break again, he meant. He had no strength left to collect him again from the floor and watch him suffer for nothing. Meet someone who will be good to you, he wanted to say, suffer from loving and being loved too much, not because of a heartbreak.

"Listen…" he started, smiling at the sight of Kyungsoo with some residue of coffee on his upper lip. "Nice mustache. No, but listen, do you perhaps have some spare bed in your house? My apartment is… occupied"

Kyungsoo looked startled, then slowly nodded.

"I can arrange something, but I have to inform Chanyeol and Baekhyun"

"Don’t worry, they are already gone"

The young man smiled: how could he had possibly thought ill of them? Young, silly and in love, perfect for each other, not so much for the world, but if they could dream he wasn’t going to be the one to pop their bubble.

Accept me as I

accept you

and your dreams,

shall they become

mine as well.

It was a poem he had composed during a long and boring autumn day for Chanyeol’s birthday and he found it fitted perfectly.

"Ok then. Wait two minutes as I go to the bathroom and we’ll go"

Somebody else was singing now, a girl with a pretty white dress and thin eyes, with an even thinner voice. Kyungsoo knew the bathroom was somewhere the only open part of the official beach bar and he eventually found it. He was washing his hands when somebody stumbled through the door, looking for something frenetically.

Kyungsoo recognized him as Lulu, the mysterious singer from before.

"Are you searching for something?"

The boy seemed to notice him just that instant. He was pretty, with a smooth and fair complexion and sparkly eyes, more beautiful than any girl on campus.

"I… never mind. Hey, I know you! You are Kyungsoo, the best singer of the division. I heard you one time at a fund raiser event, it was magical"

The kid at issue blushed lightly and bowed politely.

"Yes I am, even if today apparently I am Kkumsoo. You are Lulu if I’m not mistaken, I’ve heard you sing, you’re very good too"

"Oh, right, the nicknames, sorry. And thank you. I only take private lesson so you probably have never seen me, but it’s very nice to meet you"

Kyungsoo observed the new boy: everything, from his clothes to his posture suggested a very mature and manly person, but his face and his voice said something else. His smile was the loveliest he had ever seen, slightly crooked to the left, showing his teeth and making appear a really cute dimple.

"Are you sure I can’t help you find what you are searching for?" he asked.

"Yeah, it’s kind of complicated, but I love it like that. I don’t really want to find what I’m looking for and, at the same, I really do."

"That really seems worthy of a good story, but I won’t hold you any longer. Goodnight"

That said, Kyungsoo walked off the bathroom, oblivious of the knowing look Lulu was casting on him.

"I could have." thought the pretty boy "But better not today"

His house was smaller than Jongin’s, but surrounded by a harmonious Italian garden, full of rosebushes of every color and shape that made the dancer feel like he had fallen in Wonderland’s palace. The last sun was long gone and they were illuminated only by the star’s and moon’s light, almost as bright as the sun but more mysterious and white. Long shadows were casted behind their backs, making the house seem hollow and grim. Fortunately, the silence of the night was broken by the cicadas’ lullaby and the quiet flicker of the bats’ wings.

"I don’t really have a spare bed, but I can take the couch and you can use mine" said Kyungsoo, cleaving the noise and calming his nerves which were frayed by the slightest movement of the guest.

Jongin glared at him firmly.

"Not a chance: I’ll take the couch; I am the one who’s asking for somewhere to spend the night so I can’t take the best option. Just sleep comfortably and pretend I’m not there"

That was going to be impossible: his figure filled the space of his house like a liquid poured in a crystal glass. While Jongin was looking around, Kyungsoo just looked at him and wondered: how did such a person ended up in his house, his empty and soundless house? And why did he felt lighter than usual? The oppressing lack of music was almost tolerable. Almost.

"Will you be able to sleep if I put on some music?"

"Sure. I usually practice at night so I fall asleep with the music on most of the time"

Kyungsoo, relieved, the stereo and searched for his favorite CD: a compilation of Jamie Cullum recordings Chanyeol had made him for his birthday. His voice was smooth and full of harmonics, perfect to be accompanied by the piano.

His living room was little, with his big soft couch to take most of the space there was. He didn’t possess a television, he wasn’t really interested, but owned the biggest bookshelf the house could contain. Read, not read, just there to be admired… all the book had had a part in Kyungsoo’s life.

"You must read a lot" whispered Jongin, brushing with his fingertips some of the book’s edges.

"I love to. These are my favorites’; the other ones are in my bedroom. I’m sorry that here is practically nothing to show: photographs have remained to my parents’ house and we can’t even watch a movie" apologized embarrassed the young man, scratching his neck.

"That’s ok, plus, we are both dead tired. I think I’ll go take a shower and then straight to bed"

"Ok, I’ll go search for something that could fit you"

Kyungsoo was at least 10 cm shorter than him, so there wasn’t much he could offer as a pajama. He found some pants that belonged to his brother that could go and a very big t-shirt he had mistakenly bought one day in Gagnam. With the clothes hanging onto his arm, he gently knocked the bathroom’s door, from which came the shower’s droplet’s sound.

"I’m going to leave what I found on the sink. Let me know if they don’t fit"

"Yeah, thank you" came Jongin’s response, muffled by the shower’s curtains.

Eyes glued to the floor, he dropped the new found pajama where he intended to and left the room at the speed of lightning. Back in his bedroom, he laid onto his bed for what seemed an entire era: his heart was beating like a drum solo. Alone in his rib cage, it was rebelling against Kyungsoo’s will: you are starting to like him, said the heart, he his calm and gentle. He is what you need, make him need you too. He’ll be yours, filling the void that is trying to eat me alive, like Chanyeol’s heart is filled with Baekhyun special kind of caring.

No, said his head, your deluding yourself. You don’t need even more chaos in your tiny bubble of noises; so many years to built it, do you really want to pop it like that for a stranger? Chanyeol’s as carefree as you’ll never be, as much as you don’t want to admit it, you have a frail soul and you have to be careful.

Okay, I’ll be careful.

Knock, knock.

"Come in"

Jongin was wearing the clothes he had lent him, his hair still soaked with water, a towel in his hand. Without the makeup and the hair gel, he looked more normal, but at the same time, even more clean-cut, his visage more suave.

"I am going to sleep. If there is anything you need don’t hesitate to wake me up, I am a light sleeper"

Kyungsoo brushed his tired eyes with his knuckles.

"Thank you. Good night Jongin"

"Good night Kyungsoo"

The young man changed into his pajama and focused his senses onto the soothing melody of the stereo, low notes that lulled him into sleep, trying to forget Jongin’s presence in his living room or he would not be able to silence his thoughts.

Sleep was a marvelous thing: you could immerse yourself into a different reality, where everything was possible, dreams and nightmares, or nothingness could alleviate all your problems for long mellow hours. But then it went all wrong: Kyungsoo woke up at four a.m. in the morning with the urgency to pee, so he went to the bathroom, but something was amiss.

The house, it was dead silent. The stereo must had broken, or the batteries must had run out of power, but the point was, Kyungsoo found himself in the complete absence of noise. Panic surged in his heart, making it beat faster and faster, his breath accelerated, as he felt not enough air was going into his lungs. Alone, yet not quite like it, his thoughts drifted into a hollow oblivion, his brain going into auto pilot.

I am strong, there is nothing scary here, he tried to remind himself, but he found it difficult to create the words in his mind.

"Help" he said in a hoarse whisper. "Somebody help"

The phone! He had to call Chanyeol, he was the only one that could stop him from going into a spiral of numbness, the only one to…

Two gentle arms wrapped themselves around Kyungsoo’s figure and a clear voice broke the air around them, timidly hinting a song he knew by heart.

Nae nalkeun gitareul deureo haji moshan gobaegeul

Hogeun gojipseure samkin iyagireul

Each word cleared his mind a little bit more, each note hushed the alarm bells in his heads, like a caress to the soul. His muscles relaxed, his eyes closed, his tears dried. Jongin, everything about him, was like a magic spell that could make all the bad things go away.

At last, the dancer unwrapped him and went to open the room’s window, letting in all the outside noises: the chirping of cicadas, the distant roar of the car’s engine, the hauling of the summer wind…

"I told you I was a light sleeper. Are you ok?" said Jongin, talking as quietly as possible.

Kyungsoo slowly breathed in and out, then looked at him.

"I am. I just… panicked for a moment. I don’t really like too much silence, but it’s ok now. I’ll just put some music on with my phone or something" he tried to sound convincing, but his voice was still trembling and his hands couldn’t seem to find a spot to rest.

Jongin looked at the boy, from his bare feet to the tip of his short hair, and decided he needed to do something for him.

"How about we sleep together this night? You are still visibly shaken and I would be more comfortable to be sure that you won’t have another crisis this night"

Kyungsoo looked at his bed: it was big enough for two person to sleep on it, but only barely only space to distance himself from the dancer’s body. Still, he wanted to sleep and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it any other way.

"If I don’t cause much trouble, I would be grateful"

And so Jongin curled his body behind Kyungsoo’s back, arching his spine like a cat, his arms only inches from the other’s waistline. He just had to stretch his hand and he would be able to bury him into his hug, but he didn’t.

"Is it always like this?" he whispered.

"Sometimes’ much better, sometimes’ worse. Silence and me, we don’t go well together, never had, but since I started living alone it has been more difficult to not notice it. It’s like someone is trying to  the air from my lungs, all of it, and blocking it from going back in"

"You…" Jongin tried to articulate his words as delicately as he could "Do you think your fear for silence could derive from not wanting to be alone? I mean, you are not obviously, you have your friends, but the absence of noise means that there is nobody there besides you. Is it possible that I’m right?"

Kyungsoo took his time to answer, but, at last, he spoke.

"Loneliness is much scarier than anything else. Physical pain is nothing to me, I can just endure it until it goes away, hate can always be ignored, but loneliness… is like a virus that you can’t see or do anything about, but that is slowly devouring you from the inside. I have Chanyeol and Baekhyun but here at home there’s only me and my thoughts and I just can’t. I’m actually pretty strong, you know? But for this I don’t have any solution"

Jongin closed his eyes and slowly breathed out. The sounds of the night were filling the room, so he didn’t need to keep talking to tranquilize the singer, slowly, one inch at the time, his fingers found the other’s shirt.

"Would it be unpleasant if I hugged you in this moment?" he asked, his voice soft.

Kyungsoo felt a sting in his chest. Let him. Don’t let him. His head was still fighting his soul, but then a sound made his way into his ears: Jongin’s heart, beating like a mad drum.

-He is scared of this just as much as I am-

Realized that, it was simple to silence his head, turn around and bury his face into Jongin’s chest. It felt warm, he felt at home. The dancer, on the other hand, was afraid to go into hyperventilation from the happiness overload that was surging from his chest.

He had the dream boy into his arms, all his for that perfect moment.

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Gosh, I'm in such a happy mood lately. Does it show? Anyway, I hope you like where this story is going^__^