~ Warning: it really is best if you read this chapter while listening to the song "Here comes a thought" from Steven Universe as it is beautiful and it was what inspired this dream sequence. Thank you ~

Water, everything around him was water and sky and blue. Oh so blue it was, with an ocean under his feet and a vastness dappled by the light white of the tiny clouds, so washed out they look like watercolors drowned in the liquid heaven that place reminded him so much.

There was nothing, just the sound of nothingness pushing against his ears, making him suddenly aware of every part, every line and every organ that composed his body. And suddenly another Kyungsoo appeared.

“Why am I here?” he asked, feeling like someone was choking him, taking the air right from his lungs.

said the other him, before disappearing in a flock of beautiful white butterflies.

He felt so weak he barely could stand. Some noise, some music, that what he wanted in that moment, but apparently it was not what he really needed because it was not given to him, on the contrary, the water suddenly rose and transformed its surface into a mirror.

Like a movie, every memorable moment of his life was played out under his feet for him to watch and learn from, from him to smile and cry upon.

His mother and father bringing him to the park to play with the other children, his first friend in kindergarten, his first performance at the school’s musical, his first encounter with Chanyeol…

Oh, how had they suffered together: at first it seemed like the most fun and happy friendship two guys could have, everyday going somewhere new, doing something silly and fun, or just simply staying home studying together or singing with Chanyeol playing the guitar for him.

And then he had fallen in love…

He was so gloriously happy of his new found uality that Kyungsoo hadn’t thought of the consequences something so normal but also so extraordinary could bring. For days they had lived together because the young men couldn’t return home, hell, he didn’t have one anymore. All those tears, all those nights losing hope in life, losing hope in love.

And then he had met Baekhyun…

Because his story was so tangled with theirs it was impossible to tell one without doing the same with the other ones.

They were so full of joy and he was just there, with his hands empty, with his heart empty with his mind empty and greedy to be filled with something. Don’t leave me behind…

Even if they weren’t doing it, he felt so alone, so alone it physically hurt. So alone he was desperate. So alone he was now full of despair, in his big new apartment. His family was not there anymore to take care of him, he was growing up to be someone new, but that person was not him; he didn’t want to end up without anyone for the rest of his life, but that was what followed from there.

Jongin could have been his savior, and he had been, but he knew the true answer had to come from within him.

A tear rolled down his cheek: his father, the day of the incident, his eyes so full of betrayal. And again and again and again…

And he loved him like only a child can love his family, creating a black hole of contradiction inside his heart, spinning and spinning all of his thoughts into its core to destroy them, nullify everything he had worked hard for, all the love, all the happiness.

“But I love you, why can’t you do the same? I love you and mother so much it feels impossible to find someone to love more, but I was so lucky to encounter Jongin, so why can’t you be happy for me?”

And then, like some strange miracle, with his every tear, a piece of the blackness that was by now surrounding him disappeared and he felt like he could breathe a little bit better. Because he had not ran from it, because he had gathered his strength and confronted what was inside him since he had lost touch with the world.

It was okay to think about it.

It was okay to be sorrowful because he was really not alone, he had so many people that he cared about and that reciprocated that feeling it was silly now to think about it, but it was okay. It was just a thought.

He could go back, Jongin was waiting for him to come and walk under that perfect blue sky with him.

It was… a lovely blue.

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Well, as the title says, I was in a dreamy mood because of Steven Universe and decided to add this little chapter instead of just ending this fic here, because next chapter will probably be the last. I'm actually thinking about writing another one inspired by Lotto, with some action and gambling going on, what do you think? I'll start working on it right after this one so please, if you liked this one, when it will be out, go show it some love. As always, I hope you enjoyed it ^__^