Kyungsoo was walking down the hallway to the singing room, not really paying attention to the ground under his feet, more to the sky outside the window. He was mentally repeating the songs he would have to perform at the end of summer, picturing the music sheet as the lyrics went, to memorize them better. He was so lost in his own world that he didn’t even notice that someone was still inside the classroom, sat in front of the old piano, his eyes closed.

Luhan, or Lulu, was still the prettiest guy Kyungsoo had ever seen, with his delicate features and his soft chocolate hair, but something was off.

“Hey” said the singer, waving to the young man.

Luhan opened his eyes, still not looking in his direction, placing his hands on to the piano’s keys, softly playing a chord.

“Hey Kyungsoo. What are you doing here?”

“I technically should have my private lesson now, but the professor is late as always. Is there something wrong?”

Luhan finally turned his way and Kyungsoo could see just how conflicted he looked.

“You know, I’ve always lived with the principal of never withdrawing my word, because it is something that only cowards do, but now that I’m in the position of proving myself worthy of what I just said, I feel like craven in the heart. I’ve made a decision that could possibly change my life entirely and I don’t think I have the guts to take it until the end. I am pitiful, aren’t I?”

The singer didn’t say anything. He dropped his bag on the smooth floor and took a few steps toward the almost crying man, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“In situations like this, it is expected to feel scared. A life changing experience is always terrifying until it’s over and you can admire just how much better things are, or worse. The truth is, you can never know until you try if something is going to blow off on your face or not, the risk is always there, but if you don’t take action now, you’ll forever regret this and trust me, worse than regret, there is only loneliness”

Luhan looked at the short boy in disbelief: he now knew why Sehun’s friend had fallen for him. There was just something that made his eyes converge on him, locking his gaze into his and appease his beating heart.

“My life principal” continued Kyungsoo “Is that you go after the things you love. If your decision can actually make you happier, than take it, attach to it with all the strength you have, or else it will fly away”

-External garden at 17.00, under the willow.-

He could still make it if he run.

He rushed out of the room, shouting the most heartfelt “Thank you” of his life.

-Please be there.-

Trust me Sehun, I will.

17.15

He knew he wasn’t going to come. After all, he had never replied, but… God had given him the dangerous weapon of hope and he had used it. He could feel the sun kissing him goodbye behind the willow’s branches, him taking comfort at least in the coolness of shadow.

Tic toc… the merciless watch’s hands were furiously ticking, taking away precious time, getting him closer and closer to the realization that Luhan, or whatever his damn name was, wasn’t going to come, that his heart would have to shatter in million, non reconstructable pieces.

He wanted to get angry, to then silently cool his rage off and get revenge, that was what Oh Sehun always did, but he couldn’t, because he loved him too much to even blame him for this. What if it was all in his head: there could be no actual bond between them, Luhan could be totally different in real life, just like all the others.

Then came the sound of footsteps. Somebody is running, thought Sehun without paying much attention to it, until he was in front of him.

Tall and thin, with beautiful deer eyes, the color of hazelnuts, wide open in total surprise, cheeks red and heavy breathing. He was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, even a flustered as he was, because that was Luhan.

The Luhan that always made him laugh, that always knew one more than the devil himself, that was so different and refreshing from all the others. He was the Luhan that he loved to death.

That is why, it only took him a second to nullify the distance between them, slip his hands on his nape and kiss him tenderly, afraid he might disappear if he pushed too hard.

But he didn’t.

He was real, a young man made of flesh and skin, right in front of his eyes. And he was his, back and in reverse, just like the most marvelous dream.

Kyungsoo was caught in probably the most difficult dilemma of his life: White chemise or blue? White was classier, surely, but blue was his color. So many shades for so many days, one each, different every time, the perfect canvas for him to weave his precious dreams on. That day it was an odd Tiffany Blue.

Jongin had promised to take him in a beautiful restaurant, somewhere discrete, just like he wanted it and he was trying to look nice. All the other days of the year he chose his outfit based on the weather outside, taking the first thing he saw in his wardrobe, possibly black, but that night he wanted to do something different.

Fortunately, it wasn’t as hot as that morning, so he could comfortably wear some skinny dark jeans to tuck his shirt in, choosing again his round and thin glasses instead of contacts. He chuckled in the mirror, seeing his reflection: he looked like a very young professor straight out of Princeton.

Jongin was waiting out of his house, tensed in his navy button down, leaned on the side of his car. He had planned for a perfect night and couldn’t risk to ruin it because of his goofiness; then again, one cannot get rid of such clumsiness in just one day so he had given up and just breathed out all of his worries when he saw his dream boy getting out of his house.

Something in his figure had changed, though he couldn’t understand what: he had a more mature halo around him, his every movement slower, more sure. Mesmerized as he was, he didn’t paid attention on where he was leaning and almost tripped on his own feet.

Just a smile. Could he really be satisfied with just a smile? He had to bite his inner cheek to make his head say yes.

Once inside the car, Jongin tried his best to joke around as always, not taking his eyes of the road, but it was nearly impossible: Kyungsoo was humming the words of the song that the radio they were listening to was airing, his beautiful voice slipping away from his tight lips an Jongin couldn’t bring himself to think straight.

The singer, oblivious as always, didn’t notice a thing, this time, not because he was lost in a dream, but because he was trying to steal subtle glances at the young handsome man to his left: his fingers, tapping to the rhythm of the song on the gear shift, his lips, delicately curved in a faint smile… there is so much you can observe of a person that sometimes you can get lost in all the details and not get the bigger picture, but Kyungsoo had spent years practicing.

The restaurant really was lovely: the walls were painted to look like a beautiful night sky, lit up by thousands of candles placed all over, the tiny flames moving along an invisible dance. Their table was one of the most hidden; the only thing Kyungsoo could actually see was Jongin’s slender figure right in front of him.

“So, you like the place?” he asked, pleasantly smiling.

“It feels like I’m living one of my dreams! How come there is a place like this in my city and I’ve never heard about it?”

“It does this miracle only if someone request it and I was smart enough to do it.”

The dream boy was in his dream land, a violin soothingly playing in the background. Kyungsoo just couldn’t believe he was living reality and not just imagining everything as always. So calm… his heart was simply in awe because of how calm his thoughts were: nothing out of place, no worries nor anxiety surging in his lungs. It was like being born again, feathers anew on his wings.

“Why did you do this for me? Not that I’m not liking this, it is dead stunning, but… we’ve met not long ago and you are just so nice to me”

Jongin swallowed nervously, hoping nothing weird would come out of his mouth. Could he… could he really just rip his heart open for him to see? Was he going to be okay after that, or would Kyungsoo return to his shadows, certainly a safer place in his mind? He couldn’t know, that was the problem, but also the beautiful side of the entire matter. Take that risk or not, choosing wasn’t actually the difficult part; the consequences were what was important: would he reject him and go back to his mind palace made of gold sand, or would he take his first step into the sunlight? He wanted to believe the latter.

“Kyungsoo, it really doesn’t matter when we have met, the issue here is that we have and… I can’t get you out of my system. Every time I think about you, a smile spreads across my lips and I can’t help it; every time I’m with you I want an excuse to take your hand and never let it go; every time I look at you in the eyes and you are somewhere far away in a place where I can’t reach you my heart hurts because of this. I think I’m turning insane and I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but this is just the way I feel”

For a single, achingly long moment, nobody said a word. Kyungsoo’s mind had just froze, incapable to produce a single coherent thought, no signals alerting his mouth to begin moving. The only thing he could do was looking at Jongin: he now had rosy cheeks and lips tight in tension, while his hands were resting clenched on his lap, like a little kid who is waiting for his mother’s response on getting to go out with his friends or not.

What did he have to say? He couldn’t even begin to understand the implication of what the young man sat in front of him had just said.

Seconds melted in his brain, losing meaning, significance, dragging on the clock’s hands as if they had stuck in their places.

Tell him, tell him you love him too, that he is the one who can save you. The one that has already saved you.

Don’t tell him anything. We both know this thing is going to trail away with time. How can you know if this is love or just attraction due to the circumstances?

Tell him. You can feel it, don’t you? He is just what you need, you can be happy with him and he’ll be happy with you. Just say those few words.

Don’t tell him. You are going to break again; loneliness can’t just be cured in a blink of an eye because someone has shown some interest in you.

Tell him. You are strong, you can do this.

Don’t tell him. You’ll suffer more than ever; it is too dangerous.

Hid head was spinning in circles, rounder and rounder, until he couldn’t see the outline anymore. What did he had to do? Talk or be silent, tell him or don’t tell him, be loved and happy or be lonely and secure.

“Jongin, I…” he whispered.

And then a hands was placed onto his. Kyungsoo finally fell out of his reflections and looked, really looked, at the dancer and had to repress a yelp: warm teardrops were falling along his cheeks, leaving dark wet marks along his skin; his eyes were so full of water and grief that the singer felt his heart sinking into his rib cage.

“You know” said Jongin between the heavy sobs “If you don’t feel the same, it is perfectly ok for you to go away. I’ll think about what to do with these feelings without you worrying about even a single thing. I just… I just wanted you to know and to be happy”

Kyungsoo believed in miracles, because he knew they happened: Chanyeol had met Beakhyun in his darkest times, his mother had had him after years of trying and failing a pregnancy… people who deserved them, had always been given miracles and he decided that Jongin was in need of a special one, or else he would break.

He took his face in his hands, minding to be as delicate as he could, and wiped of all of the leftover tears from it with his fingers and then, slowly as the seconds were regaining their place in time, he placed his lips onto Jongin’s and let them speak his heart out. He could feel the butterflies singing in his stomach triumphant, even more when Jongin finally realized what was going on, closing his eyes and kissed him back. What more perfect sensation was there to experience?

Tic toc.

How could he have waited this long to do that?

“You are heartbreakingly beautiful” he said when they parted, looking in Jongin’s hazel eyes, then his lips cracked into a smile, silently giggling. “And dumb”

The dancer was probably doing the silliest face he had ever seen: jaw dropped in awe and eyes wide open, like he was witnessing an alien invasion. (let's say something like this)

“What have you done?”

Kyungsoo arched an eyebrow, not sure if he had heard it right.

“I kissed you. Should I have not to?”

“No, I… you just made things very complicated”

“Why is that? I thought I was making it simpler: you saved me, showed me that I can walk perfectly by myself but that with someone is better, so I’m just doing what I think it’s right. I’ve spent years searching for a way to cope with my chronic solitude while not really opening up to the answer, because you are the answer I’ve been waiting for”

Words sometimes mean nothing, especially when your head is sending them not asking your heart if he thinks the same, but in that moment was exactly the opposite: Kyungsoo couldn’t even comprehend the meaning of his words, but he knew he was saying what was right, what felt right; because love can’t really be expressed through chains of syllables, but he could still try.

Jongin was speechless. He had wanted more and he had gotten it, but now something new was blooming in his heart, so discrete he had almost missed it, so invisible to the eye he could have almost fooled himself into thinking it was not there.

“Can we… do this again?” he asked, still starstruck.

“Do what? The kissing?” replied Kyungsoo laughing, his ears redder and redder.

“Yeah” at that point, they were both smiling, it was hard not to “That was nice”

“Sure”

Kyungsoo would remember that moment, the first smile that belonged to him only. A dream within a dream that suddenly decided to became his reality, a show he was no longer a mere spectator of but one of the actors. When you are not alone, the spotlight can quite feel like home.

And the music, God the music was perfect, from the hum he could hear from backstage to the full volume waltz now becoming the soundtrack of his life.

And thus, the curtains fell.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Argh!, Kisses are hard to write, especially when you are talking about your ultimate otps so sorry if this took me a little bit longer.and this isn't even the end huhuhu. I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless and thank you all for all the love ^__^