April 2016           

It had slipped my mind that it was our 15th month together, so I didn’t expect a call from Skype to come on.

I was glad that we were able to talk, I was able to check up on you. Volleyball trainings have become more serious after getting into the semi-finals, we were all working very hard.

I heard a quiet knock on my door, but she already let herself in. Tifanny, our coach’s daughter.

We had gone on a couple of dates while we were overseas, we’ve been spending so much time together that we’ve become really close.

She’s been on every trip we had and she’s been there supporting all of us for every single match. I wouldn’t say I didn’t have feelings for her because I knew I did.

Were they feelings or just a sense of attachment?

I guess she didn’t think I was talking to you because I didn’t tell her we would be tonight.

“I’m sleeping here tonight, and I’ve got movies we could watch.”

Even before I could tell her anything or stop from her from saying anything, it was already too late.

I saw how you looked down, away from the camera then looking back up to only see your lips trembling.

My heart just dropped because I had never wanted to break the news to you this way.

I was about to say something.

But nothing came out because I didn't have any reason to cover this up.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow."

You ended the call, I saw myself looking at the screen blankly. Just before you ended it, I saw how sad, how broken you looked like.

The same look you had last year. 

I looked at Tiffany,she looked apologetic and guilty. She left the food on the counter and slipped herself beside me to hug me. 

I flinched, because the look you had on your face was imprinted in my mind. 

I got out of bed, and started to pack my things, I should take the train now so I'll be back early tomorrow. Tiffany stayed still on the bed, understanding why I was in a haste. 

"I'll tell dad why you left so early, I'll see you later at home."

Home. 

Home where Soojung must be feeling so betrayed, hurt,alone.

Home, where Soojung would welcome me back with open arms, will no longer be the same Soojung who smiled warmly at me. 

I was too awake, to even fall asleep on my way back.

How is she right now, is she sleeping now? What do I say to her? How do I face her now when she knows? What will happen later?

The time came, I didn't get any sleep last night since I got back home and here I am, at the cafe we first talked to each other. 

I opened the door, the bell that used to ring prettily felt like it was ringing too loudly that morning. 

You were sitting at our table, maybe it won't be our table anymore after this. 

I took the seat across from you and you tensed a bit as I sat down. 

Silence.

I explained how I met Tiffany during one of the matches I had overseas, and that slowly grew feelings for her and have fallen in love with her. 

Did I really fall in love with her? 

Before you could even say anything, I told you I was sorry for not telling you earlier about it because I didn't know how to.

Because I was a coward. 

I looked at you, finally getting your eyes to meet mine and I tell you that what we had was real and that I have loved you too.