April, 2016

It was on our 15th month when I heard someone else's voice when we both went on skype to talk to each other.

At that moment, I saw how your face dropped. You looked so frightened that I heard her.

But how can I not?

I guess she followed you to your match that night since you won't be able to return home, so you’d be sleeping at the hotel tonight.

The match ended late, that’s what you told me at least.

I already saw this coming, it was bound to happen one day if you weren’t going to tell me.

I didn’t yell, shout, scream because the energy I had was just drained away.

My tears were threatening to spill, I smiled at you wistfully because it happened too early.

You opened your mouth to say something but I shook my head, stopping you from saying anything.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

You looked at me worriedly and I was right, you were staying by my side because you felt bad for me.

Maybe that’s what has been keeping you by my side and maybe the reason why you got into a relationship with me, because you knew I was broken before.

But how could you break someone again when they're already in pieces?

You were always the nice guy, maybe you just wanted to help me, but I guess I would have done better without your help.

I ended our call, before you could explain yourself but what’s the point of covering it up now?

That night, I just knew that's the end of everything. I need to let you go. So you won't feel so burdened by me.

Right after I ended that call, I was a mess. Everything had just build up in me and when I finally broke down, it felt like I cried everything out that I’ve been keeping in.

You know what’s the saddest part?

You never called.

I don’t remember how long I’ve cried but I knew I fell asleep crying that night.

When I woke up, just a couple of hours after falling asleep, I felt relieved. It felt like I cried everything out.

My eyes were sore, I just looked tired. The girl that had once stared back at me in the mirror never looked so sad, heartbroken and down.

She once looked so contented and radiant. She looked back with the saddest eyes.

Maybe she looked like that because she was about to let go of someone who once made her happy.

The bell rang softly as the door of the café opened. The same café where we used to have our breakfast together every morning.

At the moment when I saw you, my throat got dry, my lips trembling, I felt like my tears were about to spill out.

I already made my mind, and my feeling won’t change it.

I had to be strong, so I was. I blinked my tears away.

As you sat down on the seat across the table, you took my silence to explain.