'Tao are you alright? ' stupid question to ask him Xia jesus, I scolded myself.
'I'm fine' he replied quietly.
'We'll find a way to bring her back. I promise'
'Oh yeah? and how are we gonna do that hmm?
'I...I don't know...I just thought...'
'Well do me a favour Xia, and don't...okay?' he looked away from me.
I balled my hands into fists and dug my nails into my palms to stop myself from crying.
' you' I whispered angrily before running to my room and slamming the door as hard as I could.
All I wanted to do was help Tao and this was how he reacted.
I just wanted to scream out at the top of my lungs. I was so angry, I just wanted to...to..
I suddenly felt really dizzy and then I did scream, but for a different reason.

'I've got you Xia, it's alright I'm here' I heard Tao's voice and could feel his arms around me but I couldn't respond. It hurt too much.
What the hell was happening to me?
I screamed again and then it finally happened.
'It's...its like Mei's...it's Rinkaku' gasped Tao.
I stared at myself in the mirror and didn't even realise it was me at first. My eyes were meant to be green not red...although everything else looked the same.
I watched as my newly emerged kagune flowed and pulsed as if it had a mind of its own.
I just watched it in my reflection. It looked so beautiful.
'Xia? say something'
'It's so pretty' I mumbled, reaching behind me trying to touch it but whenever I did, it moved away from my hand 'so pretty'
'Well, I wasn't expecting that reaction' I turned to face Tao and blinked.
'What have I done? Oh God what's happened to me? I didn't mean to do it. I didn't want to make it come I swear, what am I going to do?' Tao took me in his arms 'I'm such an idiot' I sobbed 'how could I be so stupid'
'Shhh you're not stupid' he soothed 'it's my fault, I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did. I'm sorry' he kissed the top of my head and my kagune disappeared 'you're so beautiful Xia, you're not an idiot at all, please don't think that of yourself. Everything will be okay'
I was getting really sick of crying in front of him.

I was a fully fledged ghoul and there was no way to stop it or reverse it. iw as stuck.
But at least I had Tao to look after me.
And he had called me beautiful, I blushed even thinking about it.
He said he would protect me and I believed him. I felt so safe with him around.
Like nothing could touch me
I felt strong.
There was a knock at the door and I jumped.
'Come in' I called and Tao entered carrying a breakfast tray.
'How do you feel?' he asked as he set the tray down.
'Apart from a headache that feels like the hangover from hell pretty good' I replied 'what's that?' I pointed to the tray.
'Well since you became a ghoul artifically, I want to see if you're held back by the same things I am so I made breakfast' he smiled.
Just then my stomach rumbled and I blushed.
'Perfect timing it would seem' he added.
The food looked yummy. I took the smallest bit and ate it and swallowed it down.
'It tastes fine' I said and Tao looked relieved.
'That's good then, it means you won't have to hunt as often or hopefully at all if you can hold food down. It'll make it easier to live with' he explained.
'So I'm only half a monster' I joked.
Tao didn't find it funny.
'Don't you dare ever call yourself that' he said frowning 'you're not a monster Xia. You're beautiful and stong and you're a wonderful person and don't you ever forget it'
I blushed again and then Tao did something I never thought he would.
He kissed me.