your's  pov 

as  i  was  done  with  the  last  file  i  saw  the  clock  it   shows  5:30 am  ,  it  was  nothing new  for  me though  i  had  worse than  this  , i  decide  to  go  home  for  shower  and  to  change   my  clothes   because  i have  meeting   with   jeo  enterprise   , as  i  reached  my  apartment  i  remove  my  blazer   from my soldier  and  relax  in  sofa  with  my  arm  above  my  head , i  close my  eyes  to  take  rest   for  10 -15  minutes  but  i  when  i  open  my  eyes  it  shows  7:30  in the  morning  i think  i lost the   track  of  time  ,  i  see  myself  in  the  window  and  i look  horrible , a  tie  loosely  hanging  in my neck  my  eyes  are  red  and  i  look  skinny  i think  i need  to  make a  long black  coffee  for myself  to  remove  sleepyness .  i  make  my  way  my  towards  kitchen  and  start  making  my   coffee   but  i haven't   known there  is  also   another  person in   my  home ,  as  i  was  pouring  the  coffee  in my  coffee  mug  and  about  to  take  a  sip  i  saw  a sleeping   figure  who  is  still  is  in  hello  kitty  pj's  ,  rubbing  her  eyes  very  cutely   is  standing  near  gateway   of  kitchen , at  first  i  was  shock  and  thought that  i was  dreaming  but then  i remmeber  that  i got  married   yesterday  , so  this  isn't  just  a   dream  as  much  i  remmeber  tiffany  told  me  that   jessica  sleep  till  afternoon  and  doesn't  like  someone  to  disturb  her  sleep  .

''  good morning  jessica-shi  ''  i  said  , i  know   she  said  we  will  live  like  strangers  after  marriage  but  i   want  to try  my  luck 

''  good morning  amy-shi  ''  she  said  i   was  happy  that  at  least  she  reply  and  look  at  me   from  head  to  toe  then  i look  at myself  then  i remmber that  i am  in  same  clothes  from  yesterday and  i  looking  horrible  right  now  HOLY  GOD  !!!   WHY THE  HELL  SHE  HAVE  TO LOOK  AT  ME  IN THIS  POSITION   , RIGHT  NOW I WANT  TO    DIG  ONE  HOLE  AND   BURY  MYSELF IN  THERE  

''  amy-shi  are  you  returning  home  right now  from  the  office ''  she  said  firmly ,  oh!  god   why  are  you  putting  me  in these  situation , knowing myself  i  am not  good  at  lieying  so  i  just  tell  her  the  truth and  i know  she  don't  care   about  me  so its  ok  to  tell  the  truth 

''  ani , jessica-shi  actually  i return  home  at   5:30  am  and  then  i relax  a  bit  in  sofa  as  i  was  still  sleepy  so  i make  myself  black  coffee   because i  have  a meeting  on  office  at  9  ''  i  said  without  shuttering  and  without  any  break  .

her  expression  change  but  i  don't  know  why i  feel  that   she  is  worried about  me but  i  let  it  go .

''  amy-shi  you  should  not  overwork urself  its  not  good  for  your  health''  she  said  , 

''  its  ok  jessica-shi  i  am  not  tired  i  will  be  good  after  shower   and  do you  like  your  room i  ask  your  mom  about  it ''  i said  politely 

''  yes , i  like  it  ''  she  said and  simle  a  bit ,  i see  the  time  it  shows   7:55  am  i  have  to  get  ready  or   else i  will  be  late  for  my meeting  but  before  that  ''  jessica-shi  you   can  anything  in here  and  if you  don't  like   anything  just  change it  , you  don't  have to  ask  me  ''  i said  again

''  its  ok  amy-shi  i like my  room  and there  is nothing  to change in this  home  '' she said , after   that  i  make  my  way  towards  my room  for  shower  and  to  change  my  clothes 

as  i  was  done  with shower ,  i  open my  walkin closet  and pick   black suit   and  put  it  on  but  i don't  know  why  i  was  not  able to  tie  my  tie  today  after  faling  3  times  i  just  hang  the  tie  in  my  neck  still  unmade . 

after  that  i  was  going  to  kitchen  to  make  have  black  coffee  as  it  is  my  habit  to  drink  black  coffee  before  going  to  office  ,  i   stopped  in my  track  because  i  saw  jessica  is having  milk  and  cereal  in  table  

''  amy-shi  don't  you  eat  anything  ''  she  said  i  just  scratch  my neck  first  because  its  true  that  i  only  have  two  meals  a day  or  one  meal  if  i  am  too  busy  

''  why  jessica-shi ''  i   ask 

''  because  their  is  nothing in  the  fridge  to  eat   apart  from  milk  and  water and   few  drinks  their  is  nothing  in there ''  she   said ,  i   don't  know  when  was  the  last  time  i  goes  to gorsery  shopping , i should have  refill the  fridge  before  because  i  don't  want  to  starve her  

'' i  am   sorry  jessica-shi, i will  bring  everything  you want   after  office  just  message  me  your  list   and  i will  bring it  ''  i said

she  looks  at me  and  sigh  and   said ''  ok  ''  

as i  was  taking  a  sip  of  my  coffee she  walk  towards  me  she   was  very  close  but  i  took   a  step  back  because  i  am  not  used  with   anyone  so  close  to  me  ,  and  beside  that  i  don't  want  to  break  my  promise  to  my  brother  she  is  my  brother's  love  .

she  came  close to  me  and  said ''  amy-shi  i  am  just  making  your  tie   , you   don't   want  to  go  for  meeting  still  with  unmade  tie  '' i  just  nod  but  then  i  start  to  feel  pain  in my  chest  area  but  i bear  it because  i  don't   want   her  to  know   ,  as   beads  of  sweats  are  forming  in  my  forehead  so  she  ask  me ''  amy-shi  are  you  ok  why  are  becoming  pale  and   red ''  

''   its  just because  i  am  feeling  hot  thats  it  ''  i said ,  she   make  my  tie  and  fix  my collar  but i  was  staring  at  her  because  i  want  to  cherish  this  moment  who knows  what  will  happen  in  future , after  that  i  hurriely goes  to  my  car and  take the  medicine  in  few  minutes  the  pain   fade  away  and  i  drive  my  car  to  my  office ,  i  was thinking  in the  way  to the  office  that  i  make  a  decision  to  marry  jessica  and  helping  little  kim  because  i  know  my  chance  of  survival is  low  and  little  kim is will  take care  jessica  will   keep  her like a  queen ,  

at  evening  i  go  to  gorsery  shopping  for jessica  ,  after  buying all  the  things  which  she  wants   i  drive  my car  to  my  apartment  .

as i reached  home at  7:00 pm  because  i  exit my  office  at 5:45  but  its ok  i  bring all  her  things  , i  place all  the  things in  the  kitchen  cabinet  and  refrigerator  ,  then  i  thought  that i  should  take  jessica  for  dinner  or  order  something  because i  don't  know  how  to  cook  or if  cook  i will  blow  down the  whole  apartment 

so  i  knock on her  door  for  asking  if  she  wants  to  go  out  or order  but  i think  she is  busy  talking  little  kim  because   she  is  talking  very  politely  and  was  very  happy  as  she  was  done talking  she  say i love you  to  him  , but i  keep  my  mask  but   deep  inside  i  heart  is  bleeding  , so i knock  again

''  jessica-shi  do  want  order  dinner  or  wanna  go out  ''  i  ask  her 

'' no  ,  lets  order ''  she  said ''  but  please  don't  order  anything  with  cucumber in it  ''

i took  my  phone  and  order  food  for  us , after  30 min  , our food  arrived  i pay the delivery  for the  food  and  set the  food in the  table  ,  first  time in my  life  i am  eating  with someone  without  any any business  meeting or  something  

after  eating  dinner i   wash the  dishes  , as  i  finished  with  cleaning the  kitchen  she  walk  towards  living room  , sat  on the  couch and  start  watching  TV

i  go to  my room  , take  shower  and  wear   shorts  and  sleevlesss  t-shirt  then  walk  towards  the  living room and   take  a seat  next to  her  but  with  a  wide  gap .

''  amy-shi  , do  you  any  girlfriend  ''  she  ask bluntly 

'' no  , jessica-shi  in my lifetime  i  don't  have  any  gf ''  i said  , she look  very  shock  

'' why  don't  you  have  anyone  in  ur life  ''  she  ask  curiously 

''  i have  loved  someone  in my  high  school  years  but  i  can't  express  my  love  to  her  and  i am  late  so  she  is  someone  else  love's  and  second  reason  i didn't  have  any  time  after  that  because  of  work ''  i said 

'' amy-shi  you  love  ur  family  very  much  right  '' she  ask 

'' ne ,  i  love  them  and  will  do anything  for  them  ''  i said  without  thinking  twice 

after  some random  talks  , we  both  were  sleepy  so  we  go to  our  respected rooms  and  fall  asleep  , i  know  i  should not  think  like  this  but  i  always  love  you  jessica  and  will   do  everything  to  make  you  happy  if  it will  destroy  me  then  also  , because  the  prize will  be to  see  you  happy  and  i   promise  this  to  myself  

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                                               ~  author

                                              [  bow ,  anneyong ]