Tick Tock Tick Tock

Felix Culpa
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Thirty-four hours, forty-five minutes, and twelve seconds had passed since the doors had closed, separating Seolhyun from Hyejeong, since she last saw her. For thirty-four hours and forty-five minutes she had been in the hands of Icarus.

Each second, every minute and hour that ticked by had driven Hyejeong ing insane.

They had locked Hyejeong up in a one-room cabin, which was really a cell decked out in everything that would piss off a Felix, but it hadn’t stopped her. She’d blown that door and the Felix guarding her into another damn galaxy. Bitter anger surged through her, coating her insides with acid as she picked up speed, flying past the row of cabins, avoiding the cluster of homes, and heading straight for the trees surrounding the Felix community hidden under the shadows of Chungha Rocks.

Not even halfway there, Hyejeong saw a blur of white streaking straight for her.

They were going to try to stop her? Yeah, not going to happen.

Hyejeong skidded to a halt, and the light zoomed past and then whirled around. Shaped like a human, it stood directly in front of her, so bright that the Felix lit up the dark trees behind him.

“We don’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s a shame.” Hyejeong cracked her neck. Behind her, several more were gathering. “I have no problem hurting you.”

The Felix in front of her extended his arms. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

There was no other way. “Let’s get this over with.”

None of them hesitated.

Neither did Hyejeong.

The Felix shot forward, a blur of brilliant limbs. Hyejeong dipped under his arms, springing up behind him. Catching his arms, she slammed her foot into his bowed back. No sooner had that Felix gone down than another took his place.

Launching to the side, she welcomed this, the physicality of fighting. Hyejeong poured every bit of fury and frustration into each punch and kick, tearing through three more of them.

A pulse of light cut through the shadows, aiming straight for her. Bending down, she slammed a fist into the ground. Soil flew into the sky as a shockwave rippled outward, catching the Felix and tossing him into the air. Hyejeong sprang up, grabbing him as intense, bright light blew off her, turning night into day for the briefest moment.

She spun, tossing him like a frisbee.

“What do you think you’re doing, Hyejeong?”

At the sound of Lee Jungshin’s voice, she turned. The Elder, in his human form, stood several yards back among the fallen. Hyejeong’s body shook with unspent power. They shouldn’t have tried to stop her. “None of you should have tried to stop me.”

Jungshin clasped his hands in front of him. “You shouldn’t be willing to risk your community for a human girl.”

There was a good chance Hyejeong was going to zap him into next week. “She is not something I’m ever going to discuss with you.”

“We are your kind, Hyejeong.” He took a step forward. “You need to stay with us. Going after this human will only–”

Hyejeong threw her hand out, grabbing by the neck the Felix who was sneaking up on her. Turning to him, they both slipped into human form. “For real?” Hyejeong growled. Lifting him into the air, she choke-slammed the stupid douche into the ground. Soil and rock flew into the air as she straightened, returning her gaze to Jungshin.

The Elder paled. “You’re fighting your own kind, Hyejeong. That is unforgiveable.”

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I’m not asking for .”

“You’ll be cast out,” he threatened.

“Guess what?” Hyejeong backed away, keeping an eye on the Felix on the ground who had started to stir. “I don’t care.”

Anger rolled off Jungshin, and the calm, almost docile expression vanished. “You think I don’t know what you did to that girl? What your sister did? Both of you have brought this onto yourselves. This is why we don’t mix with them. Humans bring nothing but trouble. You are going to cause trouble, cause them to look too closely at us. We don’t need that, Hyejeong. You’re risking a lot for a human.”

“This is their planet,” Hyejeong said, surprising herself with that statement, but it was true. Seolhyun had said it before, and she repeated her words. “We are the guests here, buddy.”

Jungshin’s eyes narrowed. “For now.”

Hyejeong’s head tilted to the side at those two words. Didn’t take a genius to figure out that was a warning, but right now, it wasn’t her priority. Seolhyun was. “Don’t follow me.”

“Hyejeong–”

“I mean it, Jungshin. If you or anyone else comes after me, I won’t go easy like I just did.”

The Elder sneered. “Is she truly worth this?”

A cold wind moved down Hyejeong’s spine. Without the support of the Felix community, she’d be on her own, not welcomed in any of their colonies. Jungshin would make sure of it. But there wasn’t a moment of hesitation.

“Yes,” she said. “She is worth everything.”

Jungshin in a sharp breath. “You’re done here.”

“So be it.”

Pivoting, she took off through the trees, racing toward her house. Her brain was churning. She didn’t have much of a plan. Nothing concrete, but she knew she was going to need a few things. Money was one of them. A car. Running the whole way to Mount Elvis wasn’t an option. Going back to the house was going to be difficult, because she knew Mina and Youkyung would be there, and they would try to stop her.

But as she crested the rocky hill and picked up speed, what Jungshin had said overshadowed her plotting. Both of you have brought this onto yourselves. Had them? The answer was simple and right in her face. She especially knew the risks. It was why she had pushed Seolhyun away in the beginning, had gone to extremes to keep her away from Mina and her. And yet she had brought Seolhyun deep into this world.

It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

If anyone was to be caught, if things went down badly in Mount Elvis, it should’ve been her. Not Seolhyun. Never her.

Cursing under her breath, Hyejeong hit a patch of ground lit by silvery moonlight seconds before breaking clear of the forest and slowed down without intending to. Her eyes went straight to Seolhyun’s house, and pressure clamped down on her chest. The house was dark and still, as if it had been the years before she had moved in. No life, an empty, dark shell of a home.

A light flipped on in her house. A second later, the front door opened, and Youkyung stood there. The breeze carried her soft curse.

Blood drained from her  twin sister’s face as she took a step back. A sick sense of satisfaction swelled in Hyejeong. “Weren’t expecting me so soon?”

“Hyejeong.” Youkyung’s back hit the front door. “I know you’re pissed.”

Another burst of energy left her, hitting the ceiling of the roof. Wood cracked. A fissure appeared, splitting down the center. Her vision tinted as the Source filled her, turning the world white. “You have no idea, sis.”

“We wanted to keep you safe until we knew what to do, how to get Seolhyun back. That’s all.”

“Did you and Jonghyun think that locking me up in the community was the best answer?”

“We–”

“Did you think you could stop me?” Power shot from Hyejeong, smacking into the door behind Youkyung, blowing it off the hinges and into the house. “I’ll burn the world down to save her.”

And she would.

“How did you get out?” Youkyung asked.

“Better question is how many did I lay out to get here?” Hyejeong tensed, waiting. Youkyung blocked the doorway. “Don’t fight me on any of this, sis. You won’t be able to stop me, and you know it.”

Youkyung held Hyejeong’s gaze for a moment, then swore as she stepped aside. Hyejeong slid past her, her eyes going to the staircase.

“Mina is asleep,” she said, running a hand through her hair. “Hyejeong–”

“Where is Jonghyun?”

“Here,” came a male voice from the dining room. Hyejeong turned around. Well, her sandwich wasn’t with him. “Hey, kid.” He went to her side, draping his arm over her shoulders. “We planned on leaving. I’m going to set us up in Xuju Creek, near southern mountain.”

Hyejeong nodded. The mountain was rocking a decent amount of Quartz but no Felix community that they knew of.

“But we didn’t want to leave right now. Someone should be here with you and Mina. You shouldn’t be out of the colony. If the police see you or the–”

“The police aren’t going to see me.” That concern made sense. Since Seolhyun and her were both presumed missing, or that they’d run away, her reappearance would raise a lot of questions. “Neither will Seolhyun’s mom.”

Jonghyun didn’t look convinced. “You’re not worried about the AOE?”

Hyejeong said nothing.

He shook his head. “. You’re going after her, aren’t you?”

“The hell she is,” Youkyung cut in, and when Hyejeong said nothing, she strung together so many curse words Hyejeong was actually impressed. “Dammit, Hyejeong, out of everyone, I know what you’re feeling, but what you’re doing is insane. And seriously, how did you get out of the cabin?”

Striding forward, Hyejeong brushed past her and headed for the kitchen. It was strange being back in her house. Everything was the same. Gray granite countertops, white appliances, the god-awful decorations Mina had thrown up on the walls, and the heavy oak kitchen table.

Hyejeong stared at the table. Like a mirage, Seolhyun appeared, sitting on the edge. Deep pain sliced across her chest. God, she missed her, and it killed her not knowing what was really happening to her or what they were doing.

“Hyejeong?” Youkyung had followed her.

Hyejeong turned from the table. “We don’t need to have this conversation, and I’m not in the mood to state the obvious. You know what I’m doing. It’s why you put me in the colony.”

“I don’t even understand how you got out. There was Clio all over that place.”

Each colony had cabins meant to keep Felix who’d become dangerous to their kind or to humans and that the Elders didn’t want to take them to the human police.

“I’m here to get a few things, and then I’m gone.” Hyejeong opened up the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Taking a swig, she faced Jonghyun. They were the same height, so they met eye to eye. “I mean it. Don’t push me on this.”

He flinched, but his emerald eyes met hers. For once in a lifetime, Hyejeong did notice that Jonghyun was the only one who had green as his eye color, among the Felix. “There’s nothing I can say that’s going to change your mind, Hyejeong?”

“Nope.” She tossed the water bottle in the garbage.

He stepped back, rubbing his hand down his jaw. Behind him, Youkyung leaned against the counter. “You going to make me beat you into submission?”

Hyejeong laughed. “I’d like to see you try, big sis.”

“Big sis,” she scoffed, but a faint smile pulled at her lips. Several moments passed, and then she said, “I’ll help you.”

“Hell no.” Hyejeong folded her arms. “I don’t want your help. I’m not going to let you help. Look at what happened when we were in this all together. I can’t be worried about you guys. I want you and Mina as far away as possible from this. I promise I’ll bring back both Yuna and Seolhyun.”

“But–”

“I’m not going to argue with you.” Hyejeong placed her hands on Youkyung’s shoulders and squeezed. “I know you want to help. I appreciate that. But if you really want to help, don’t try to stop me.”

Youkyung closed her eyes, her features pinching as her chest rose sharply. “Letting you do this by yourself isn’t right, but I get that. I do.”

***

Hyejeong was only in her bedroom long enough to change into fresh clothing. Being in there was a blessing and a curse. For some reason it made her feel closer to Seolhyun. Maybe it was because of what they’d shared in her bed and all the moments before then. It also tore her up, because Seolhyun wasn’t in her arms and she wasn’t safe.

Hyejeong didn’t know if she’d ever truly be safe again.

As she pulled the clean shirt over her head, Hyejeong sensed her lil sis before she spoke. Blowing out a low breath, she turned and found her standing in her doorway, dressed in bubblegum pink pajamas.

She looked as ty as Hyejeong felt. “Hyejeong–”

“If you’re going to start in on how I need to wait and think this through, you can save it.” Hyejeong sat down on the bed, dragging a hand through her hair. “It’s not going to change what I want.”

“I know what you want, and I don’t blame you.” Mina cautiously stepped into Hyejeong’s room. “No one wants to see you get hurt... or worse.”

“Worse is what Seolhyun is going through right this moment. She’s your friend. Or was. And you’re okay with waiting? Knowing what they could be doing to her?”

Mina flinched, and her eyes shone brightly. “That’s not fair,” she whispered. “We can’t lose you,” she said after a few moments of awkward-as-hell silence. “You have to understand that we did what we did because we love you.”

“But I love her,” Hyejeong said without hesitation.

Mina’s eyes widened, probably since it was the first time she’d heard Hyejeong say it out loud. Well, about anyone other than her family. She wished she had said it more often, especially to Seolhyun. Funny how that kind of always turns out in the end.

Tears filled her eyes as she said in a quiet voice, “She loves you, too.”

The burn in Hyejeong’s chest expanded and crawled up .

“You know, I always knew she liked you before she admitted it to me or herself.”

Hyejeong smiled slightly. “Yeah, same here.”

Mina twisted the length of her hair in her hands. “I knew she’d be... she’d be perfect for you. She’d never put up with your crap.” She sighed. “I know Seolhyun and I had our problems over... Minhyuk, but I love Seolhyun, too.”

Hyejeong couldn’t do this. Sit there and talk about her like they were at some kind of wake or memorial. This was too much.

Mina took a little breath, a sure sign she was about to unload. “I wish I hadn’t been so hard on her. I mean, she totally needed to know that she should’ve trusted me and all of that, but if I could’ve let go of it sooner, then... well, you know what I mean. It would’ve been better for everyone. I hate the idea that I might never–” She cut herself off quickly, but Hyejeong knew what she was getting at. She might never see Seolhyun again.

Hyejeong looked at Mina. “She didn’t hate you. She understood. She knew you needed time, and she...” Hyejeong stood, suddenly needing to get out of this room and this house and onto the road. Taking several deep breaths, she asked a question she wasn’t sure she wanted an answer to. “Have you seen her mom?”

Her lower lip trembled. “I have.”

Hyejeong caught her sister’s stare and held it. “Tell me.”

“The police were at her house all day after... we got back. I talked to them, and then to her mom. The police think you two ran away. Or at least that’s what they told her mom, but I think one of them is an implant. He was way too adamant about it.”

“Of course,” Hyejeong muttered.

“Her mom doesn’t believe it, though. She knows Seolhyun.” Mina plopped back down, arms falling in her lap. “It was really hard. Her mom was so upset. I could tell she thinks the worst, especially after Yuna and Joongki ‘disappearing’.”

Guilt exploded like buckshot, leaving dozens of holes in her. Seolhyun’s mom shouldn’t be going through this, worrying about her daughter, missing her, and fearing the worst.

“I have to go. I have to get her back.”

“But what if you don’t get her back? What if you are put in there with her?”

“Then at least I’m with her. I’m there for her.” She walked up to her sister and clasped her cheeks. Tears rolled down, pooling along her fingers. Hyejeong hated to see her cry, but she hated what was happening to Seolhyun more. “Don’t worry, Mina. This is me we’re talking about. You know damn well I can get myself out of any situation. And you know I will get her out of there.”

And nothing in this world would stop her.

 

The next morning...

There was a wetness gathering on Seolhyun’s cheeks.

They were tears, she realized slowly.

Tears of pain and anger, a fury so potent it tasted like blood in the back of . Her memories after the doors had sealed shut were hazy. Hyejeong’s parting words haunted every waking moment. ‘There had been a hissing sound as the doors closed, and she’d been left alone with the Kloom.

Seolhyun thought they tried to eat her.

Everything had gone black, and she’d woken up in this world where it hurt to breathe. Remembering Hyejeong’s voice, her words, soothed some of the torment. But then she remembered Jimin’s parting smile as she held Seolhyun’s Calyx necklace, and her anger flared. She’d been captured, and she didn’t know if Hyejeong had made it out along with the rest of them.

She didn’t know anything.

Forcing her eyes open, Seolhyun blinked at the harsh lights shining down on her. For a moment, she couldn’t see around their bright glow. Everything had an aura. But finally it cleared, and she saw a white ceiling behind the lights.

“Good. You’re awake.”

In spite of the pulsating burning, her body locked up at the sound of the familiar male voice. Seolhyun tried to look toward the source, but pain shot down her body, curling her toes. She couldn’t move her neck, her arms, or her legs.

Icy horror drenched her veins. Clio bands were around her neck, her wrists, her ankles, holding her down. Panic erupted, seizing the air in her lungs. She thought about the bruises Youkyung had seen around Yuna’s neck. A shudder of revulsion and fear rocked through her.

The sound of footsteps neared, and a face, tilted sideways, came into view, blocking the light.

Seolhyun in a breath. Her eyes had to be deceiving her. He couldn’t be here. And he couldn’t look the way he did.

It was Dr. Park... it was, but it wasn’t. Something was dreadfully wrong with the man. The last time she’d seen him, his dark brown hair had been thick and wavy, with a hint of gray at the temples. Patches of his skull shone under a thin layer of mousy hair now.

He had been a handsome man, but this man in front her had aged dramatically. His skin was sallow and drawn tight across his face. No fat or form whatsoever, and he reminded her of the skeleton decorations used to scare children at Halloween. Some sort of rash affected his forehead. His lips were incredibly thin, as were his arms and his shoulders.

Only his eyes were what Seolhyun remembered. Pale blue, full of strength and determination, they fixed on hers. Something else sharpened them. Resolve? Hatred? She wasn’t sure, but what shone deep in them was more frightening than staring down a horde of Kloom.

Dr. Park let out a dry, painful-sounding laugh. “I’m a sight for sore eyes, aren’t I?”

Seolhyun didn’t know what to do or say. As scary as hell as it was that he was here.

He stared back a long moment before sliding a hand over the table. “Well, the mutation didn’t hold.”

That all she got, but it didn’t explain why he looked like a creeper. “What the are you doing here?”

“I did plan on coming back here after a few weeks. I knew the sickness would be rough. I knew I needed time to get control of it. Then I’d come home and we’d be one big, happy family.”

Seolhyun choked. “There would be no way I’d let that happen.”

“Your mother wanted that.”

Her hands curled into fists.

“Anyway, I’m here for working.” Gesturing to the CCTV, he asked in a level voice. “How are you feeling?”

Seolhyun blinked slowly, wondering if this man was being serious. She agreed to play along. “Everything hurts,” she croaked.

“It’s the bands, but I’m sure you know that.” He motioned to something or someone behind him. “We had to take certain precautions when we transported you.”

Transported me? Where in the hell am I? Am I still at Mount Elvis?

“My name is Sergeant Choi. I’m going to release you so we can talk and you can be looked over. Do you see the dark dots in the ceiling?” he asked. Seolhyun’s gaze followed his, and then she saw the almost invisible blotches. “It’s a blend of Clios. You know what the Clio does, and if you fight us, this room will fill up with it. Whatever resistance you’ve built won’t help you here.”

“Good to know.” Seolhyun scowled.

“The room is outfitted with Clio as a security precaution,” he continued, his dark brown eyes focused on Seolhyun’s again. “In case you somehow are able to tap into the Source or attack any member of my staff. With Hybrids, we never know the extent of your abilities.”

Right now Seolhyun didn’t think she’d be able to sit up without assistance.

“Do you understand?” His chin lifted as he waited. “We don’t want to hurt you, but we will neutralize you if you pose a threat. Do you understand, Seolhyun?”

She didn’t want to answer, but she also wanted out of the damn Clio bands. “Yes.”

“Good.” Sergeant Choi smiled, but it was practiced and not very friendly. “We don’t want you to be in pain. That is not what Icarus is about. And it is far from what we are. You may not believe that right now, but we hope you will come to understand what we are about. The truth behind who we are and who the Felix are.”

“Kind of hard to... believe right now.”

Sergeant Choi seemed to take that for what it was worth, and then he reached down somewhere under the cold table. There was a loud click, and the bands lifted on their own, sliding off Seolhyun’s neck and ankles.

Letting out a shaky breath, she slowly lifted her trembling arm. Entire parts of her body felt either numb or hypersensitive.

He placed a hand on her arm, and she flinched. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said. “I’m just going to help you sit up.”

When she lifted her head, she saw Dr. Park already dressed in a white lab coat standing by a door that was such a shiny black it reflected the room. He held a paper cup in his hand and what looked like a manual pressure cuff in the other.

Slowly, her eyes traveled over the room. It reminded her of a weird doctor’s office, outfitted with tiny tables with instruments on them, cabinets, and black hoses hooked to the wall.

When motioned forward by the sergeant, Dr. Park approached the table and carefully held the cup to Seolhyun’s mouth. She drank greedily. The coolness soothed the rawness in , but she drank too fast and ended up with a coughing fit that was both loud and painful.

“I’m Dr. Park, one of the best at the base.” He shot a meaningful wink at Seolhyun, which made Seolhyun disgusted. He put the cup aside and reached into his jacket, pulling out a stethoscope. “I’m just going to listen to your heart, okay? And then I’m going to take your blood pressure.”

Seolhyun jumped a little when he pressed the cold chest piece against her skin.

He then placed it on her back. “Take a nice deep breath.” When Seolhyun did, he repeated his instructions. “Good. Extend your arm out.”

“Where am I?”

Sergeant Choi clasped his hands behind his back. “You’re in Nonsan.”

Seolhyun stared at him. “Nonsan? That’s... that’s clear across the state.”

Silence.

Then it struck her. A strangled laugh escaped. “Seoul? Military camp?”

There was more silence, as if they couldn’t confirm the existence of such a place. She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry.

Dr. Park released the cuff. “Her blood pressure is a little high, but that’s expected. I would like to do a more intensive examination.”

Visions of probes and all kinds of nasty things lit up her brain. “No. You can’t do this. You can’t–”

“We can,” Sergeant Choi interrupted. “Under the act, we are able to apprehend, relocate, and detain anyone, human or nonhuman, who poses a risk to the Nation’s security.”

“What?” Seolhyun’s back hit the wall. “I’m not a terrorist.”

“But you are a risk,” he responded. “We hope to change that, but as you can see, your right to freedom was relinquished the moment you were mutated.”

Legs giving out, Seolhyun slid down the wall and sat down hard. “I can’t...” Her brain didn’t want to process any of this. “My mom...”

The sergeant said nothing.

Oh my God, her mom had to be going insane. She would be panicked and devastated. She would never get over this. Pressing her palms against her forehead, Seolhyun squeezed her eyes shut. “This isn’t right.”

“What did you think would happen?” Choi asked.

Seolhyun opened her eyes, breath coming out in short bursts.

“When you infiltrated a government facility, did you think you would just walk out and everything would be fine? That there’d be no consequences for such actions?” He bent down in front of her. “Or that a group of kids, alien or hybrid, would be able to get as far as you did without us allowing it?”

Coldness radiated over her body. Good question. What had they thought? They had suspected it could be a trap. Seolhyun had practically prepared herself for it, but they couldn’t walk away and let Yuna rot in there. None of them could’ve done that.

She stared up at the man. “What happened to... to the others?”

“They’ve escaped.”

Relief coursed through her. At least Hyejeong wasn’t locked up somewhere. That gave her some sort of comfort.

“We only needed to catch one of you, to be honest. Either you or the one who mutated you. Having one of you will draw the other out.” He paused. “Right now, Shin Hyejeong has disappeared off our radar, but we imagine it won’t stay that way for long. We have learned through our studies that the bond between a Felix and the one he or she mutates is quite intense. And from our observations, you two are extremely... close.”

There was no point in pretending she had no idea what he was talking about, but Seolhyun would never confirm it was Hyejeong. Never.

“I know you’re afraid and angry.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling both of those things strongly.”

“That is understandable. We are not as bad as you think we are, Seolhyun. We had every right to use lethal methods when we caught you. We could’ve taken out your friends. We didn’t.” He stood, clasping his hands again. “You will see we are not the enemy here.”

Not the enemy? They were the enemy, a greater threat than a whole flock of Kloom, because they had the entire government behind them. Because they could just snap up people and take them away from everything. Their family, their friends, their entire life, and get away with it.

Sergeant Choi had come and gone during the whole process, replaced by men in army fatigues. The berets they wore hid most of their faces, but from what Seolhyun could see, they didn’t seem much older than her, maybe in their early twenties.

One of them were in the room now, both with pistols strapped to their thighs. The one wearing a dark green beret stood near the controls, watching her, one hand on his pist

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checkyesjessi
#1
Chapter 41: Wow, and I mean, wow. This book, this book deserves to be read by every SeolJeong fan out there (I would say AOA because, damn, the whole Elvis needs to know the existence of this masterpiece). Over the course of my reading, I forgot that this was a fan fiction. And holy , who would've known I'd stumble upon a SeolJeong fic after being in this site, for, I don't know, three years? Damn. If I had known AOA sooner, I wouldn't think twice of subscribing this fic. I may be a few years late, but I would never regret diving into this crazy world that is SeolJeong, and that is all thanks to you. To this fic. For introducing me to AOA, and for making me fall in love with them every chapter. And the tears, oh God, the tears were so worth it. Damn. Thank you, so much. I'd honestly want to marry you if Shin Hyejeong doesn't exist, but I guess you didn't need to know that.
P0rtM4n
#2
Chapter 27: I'm reading your story aguan, I needed a little of Seoljeong in my life and I love it!
leave_me_alone
#3
Chapter 41: This is the best story I've read in a long time
AphroditeLetter
#4
Chapter 41: It's so sad how many people died but well, life isn't really great all the time, I'm glad is a happy ending thi, each one of them deserve to be happy after everything they went through. What amazing story, I'm reading this super late but it's still terrific, great job ^_^
AphroditeLetter
#5
Chapter 18: Hyejeong you little
golden-hyung
#6
Chapter 4: Rereading this and god, I die every time I come across "I'm Kim Kardashian, by the way."
bangtanedd #7
Chapter 41: the ending is just perfect *cries*
bangtanedd #8
came here to read this again cause i remember it being super gud