Confusion

When there was no one around him, Jeongguk dreamed. 

He dreamed of the life he wanted to live in, without anything binding him from doing anything, a life where he was free. And it was beautiful to him.

Today, he dreamed about it too.

He saw the other six by his sides: they were watching over a sunset. The sun was slowly bidding its farewell for the day, sinking down the horizon, inch by inch. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Jimin asks in his dream, and he finds himself nodding.

"It was beautiful," Yoongi corrects him. "Now it isn't here for the day"

"Why do you have to ruin the mood?" Hoseok asks, and Jeongguk laughs at this.

"No, I'm telling the truth. It will exist now, but it disappears, just like every other thing in life. Just like every passing moment." Jeongguk listens intently. "Every minute we spend goes to the past, goes to being just a memory. It's in how we choose to move on; and most of the times we do not cherish it enough"

"Wow, that's deep" Taehyung exclaims dramatically, and everyone let out a laugh. But they won't deny that it made them think.

It makes Jeongguk think: was it for me?

"What are you making?" Yoongi asks as he leans on the counter while Jimin finishes his first sandwich.

"Sandwiches; everyone might be hungry" He says, and Yoongi hums an okay before joining him, making his own with—

"Cheese? Just cheese?" Jimin asks with a laugh. "You have weird tastes"

"What? I like mine simple" He shrugs as he chews onto his cheese-only sandwich.

"What're you-- Ooh, sandwiches!" Hoseok barges in between and takes one, earning Jimin's glare as a response. "What? It's for us to eat, right?"

"But I made that for Namjoon hyung... without mayo" He frowns. "Whatever; I can just make another one"

"Come on, I'll help you. But Namjoon has weirder tastes than me" Yoongi says as he turns around, taking over the counter. He does notice how close he is to Jimin, but chooses to ignore it. But his body doesn't, and he fumbles around more than he should.

"Are you sure you know how to make a sandwich?" Jimin chuckles, leaning onto Yoongi's shoulder. Yoongi feels ticklish at this, but laughs it off.

Hoseok stands behind them, feeling left out for some reason. Like he's a third wheel for a couple.

Third wheel.

What good way to put it, Hoseok. 

"I-I'll just stay out-side..." He says and rushes out, trying to keep the mix of feeling bubbling up inside him at bay. Stop being ing jealous they're just friends! Friends!

He isn't sure about it anymore, not when Yoongi acted like that.

"Why is it so cold?" Jimin shivers as he pulls his coat tighter around him, hoping it would stop the cold air from biting his skin.

"Yeah, it's unusually cold" Yoongi bites through his teeth.

"Here, have it" Hoseok takes off his coat and hands it to Jimin who looks at him with wide eyes.

"Aren't you cold?"

"I can manage" He smiles and ruffles Jimin's hair.

"You know I hate it when you do that!" Jimin whines and starts to hit Hoseok lightly, soon turning into a squabble with hands flailing.

As the bus went on, Yoongi looked out the window, feeling strange. It wasn't all the time that he felt like unnecessarily snapping at someone, especially at Hoseok. Hoseok has been his friend ever since they met, and they had fought over just about everything that there was nothing left to fight over.

Or was there?

Yoongi would be lying if he said he did not notice how Hoseok would tense up at certain situations, like when was a bit too close with Jimin. He had seen how Hoseok would control himself (the boy was too oblivious to think he hid it pretty well). But Yoongi hardly thought of it to be a problem. 

He doesn't understand why he's even thinking about that now.

They get down at their stop and walk towards the Hospital, Jimin pulling Hoseok's coat over his own, feeling a bit better. Yoongi grits through his teeth about the cold weather as the enter the warm hospital building, finally able to feel normal.

"Thanks for the coat, Hobi hyung" Jimin says as he passes Hoseok's coat to him.

Hobi. Hoseok has a nickname, but Yoongi doesn't. Not like he cared, but now he strangely seems to notice it. It strangely comes to his mind that maybe Hoseok could be more close to Jimin than himself.

And that tugs at his heart.

Forcing himself to smile at Jimin, he brushes the thought away.

Seokjin notices Namjoon dozing off on the chair, head uncomfortable sitting on his own shoulder. Idiot, he wants to scold him because that would surely bring him pain. He scoots over to his side, taking the weight of his head on his shoulder.

"You both are so in love with each other," Jeongguk had said at one time, when the two were in the exact same position as now. But alas, things changed. They changed. Now, he was just conflicted.

He takes a look at Namjoon, obliviously sleeping on his shoulder with a tight face. He had noticed it; Namjoon had been stressed lately. And it hadn't been because of all the work in the school. It was much more than that, it was because of them. 

He thinks back to their argument, and wonders if he was even right. There was no denying that he felt something for him, but he was hesitant to name is as romantic affection. He was hesitant because, well, he has no experience. He hasn't had anyone who would tell him that 'this is love', or 'this is how it is to like someone'. And that confused him.

"What should I do?" He mutters, slow enough for Namjoon to not hear it. "He said he likes me, but..." I don't know.

He hopes someone would give an answer.

Hoseok looks at his hand, and wonders what changed.

He never gets angry at Yoongi. No, they weren't like that; sure, they had major disagreements but nothing a cup of ramen and a can of coke cannot settle. But now, he finds himself getting angry at Yoongi all the ing time, even with minor things like moving a leg or even reaching out for his own phone while leaning over his back.

Which is what he is doing right now.

"Can you get up?" He growls lowly; covers it with a lopsided smile.

"My phone," Yoongi deadpans, raising an eyebrow and going back to reaching for his faraway phone... which is in Jimin's hands.

And he's asleep.

"Can you get up now?" He almost yells, and Yoongi looks at him in surprise.

"I was just getting my phon-"

"Yeah, leaning over my back" He scoffs. "Just go over there if you want it so much"

"What's your problem?" Yoongi shoots right back, and Jung Hoseok Instinct tells him this isn't gonna be nice. At All. "You're being really picky lately,"

"Well, if you would not irritate me all the time then I'd not be this picky about everything!" He lashes back and sits upright, almost squishing Yoongi's hand.

" off, seriously," Yoongi shakes his head, frown deepening in the creases and Hoseok knows he's pissed off right now.

But he can't stop, he just... can't. Something fumes inside him, like fire haystack, and it blinds his ability to think.

"You  off," He mutters, unnecessarily huffing out a breath (maybe to show he's pissed at him, too).

"Seriously, what the  is your problem?" Yoongi asks, forcing the latter to look at him when he turns away. "You weren't like this"

"People change, Yoongi! I can't be the same idiot I used to be!"

Even he isn't sure why he's yelling right now.

"Who the hell told you were an idiot? You're just being so tense all the time and lashing out for no reason-!"

"It's because you irritate me! Can you stop ing annoying me, for once?" He swats Yoongi's hand away, getting up. "I'm going"

Yoongi doesn't say a word.

A/N: WHATEVER THIS WAS im sorry. help me choose between yoonmin or jihope pls im as confused as you are but i've not written anything yoonmin here... not as much as Jung Hoseok's confusion with himself lmao shoot me