Pretend

It has been almost a year, Seokjin remembers one groggy morning. He muses for some minutes on why it is always him who remembers days and dates, because for once he doesn't want to remember.

In this one year, many things had changed: Jimin had gotten much better, for a good news. They had all got mediocre jobs, having a small privilige of being former students of Bangtan Academy. Jimin wasn't kidding when he said their Academy's name skyrockets their reputation.

He himself is working in a bakery along with Taehyung, both who are considered as a treasure by the shop owner. He always says the business had been so dull till they came, and suddenly went to a whole new level. He accounts it to their looks, but Seokjin will always politely decline the fact.

Namjoon had joined as a teacher for an Elementary school round the block (too young, the other teachers there would mutter as he walks by), and Hoseok had went back home, working under his Father to run the family's business. He was the only one still with his family, and the only one who still helps them financially at necessary times. But each of them had their own jobs, so they didn't have to face any problems.

"I'll make breakfast in a few minutes," Hoseok mutters, sitting up but still sleeping. "It's my turn, right?"

"It's technically my turn, but whatever. You guys won't even let me go near the kitchen" Jimin huffs and pouts, pretending to be offended.

"You're not going to the kitchen till you're well and good, and run a mile without heaving like you're begging for air" Yoongi says, burying himself in the sheets. "What time is it?"

"A little over Eight" Namjoon replies, already dressed up. "And I need to go soon today"

"I'll go prepare, then" Seokjin shoots up before Hoseok could protest, and honestly he didn't feel like fighting back today since he had spent an awful lot of time going through official documents last night, he just retreats back to sleeping.

After being expelled, Hoseok had nothing else he can choose from beside working in his Father's office. He was really good, though, and he wouldn't complain. He had, in fact, wished to help his Father when he got out of the Academy anyway.

"Should I help you?" Seokjin turns to Jimin standing right outside the kitchen. "Please, I feel like I'd die not doing anything. Please"

Seokjin laughs. "You can help me chop the onions up, if you want to"

"I would love to, seriously," He says and sits down, but gets up again. "Wait a second, I need to wake Tae up or he would miss work today, that sleepyhead"

Seokjin nods back, turning to the stove cooking their breakfast and lunch. He cannot deny he had become some sort of a Mom to everyone, but he feels nice being together like this. He would have hated it if he were in his House.

Sometimes, he's thankful that he's here rather than anywhere else, because he had people he could rely on with everything. He guesses their families wouldn'thave even thought they lived happily; maybe hoped for them to struggle on the streets. But they didn't. They somehow worked it out, it was almost perfect.

Almost perfect.

Because everyone had only one person they wished to be with them right now, together, no one pulling them away. And it was Jeongguk. The name engraved in their hears as a best friend, as family, the one who just cannot be let out.

Seokjin knew Jeongguk even before he joined the Academy; being a rich kid had it's own pros. The two had met, long ago at one of the events they both had went to. Seokjin immediately recognized how much the younger hated to be there, representating his Father because he didn't want to. He could find out he had no friends, either, because everyone feared him because of his Father. He could find him out, because he was the same.

"He's awake, god" Jimin plops on the dining table, grabbing the onions and peeling them while Seokjin focused on the stove.

"So, when are you guys getting together?" Jimin asks, and Seokjin looks up in confusion.

"Getting together? Who?"

"We haven't forgotten that Truth or Dare night, hyung" Jimin narrows down at Seokjin. "When are you going to admit that?"

Right then, his memory floods with bits and pieces of that night, that night of confessions, of tension, of confusion that he didn't want to face again.

"That-- That was nothing, Jimin. It was the slip of a tongue, I'd say"

"Was it?" Namjoon asks, and Seokjin takes a thorough minute to be shocked by his sudden presence. "Was it the slip of a tongue, hyung?"

Seokjin doesn't know what to say in reply. The air's heavy with silence, and Jimin looks between the two like a lost sheep.

"Yes," Seokjin forces it out. "We were drunk and didn't know what we said"

"Right," Namjoon nods, almost like he had expected some other answer. "You're right, it was nothing"

The way Namjoon words it hurts Seokjin in a strange way, but he chooses to ignore it and goes back to the stove.

The egg had already burnt black by then.

Tasteless, useless, just like his own mind. It was his mind that didn't want to accept what Namjoon had said that night, not his heart. His heart was still fighting against him, hanging onto the sliver of hope that he will finally realize.

"Is it just me or is it heavy in here?" Jimin asks obliviously, and Seokjin just smiles in reponse.

"You guys are awake? And what is heavy?" Yoongi asks, and Jimin shrugs back.

The air was definitely heavy.

"We," Namjoon starts as soon as the rest head out to buy groceries. Seokjin perks up, turning to Namjoon with an oblivious look. "Need to talk"

"What?" He asks, turning back to the TV.

"Do you-- Do you really think that my confession was a mistake?" 

Seokjin freezes at the question, eyes on the TV but nothing registering in his mind. It lasts for half a minute before he relaxes, finally turning to Namjoon.

"Yes"

"Really? You think I would say I like you as a-- a bloody mistake?"

"We were drunk, Namjoon--"

"And we tell the truth when we're drunk; it's human nature" He glares back, leaning closer. "Didn't you even consider what I said?"

"Namjoon, this isn't the time for--"

"There is no time for talking about this because you and I, we both know we don't have the courage. So let's finish up whatever confusion it is"

"There is no confusion, Kim Namjoon. You were drunk and spit out absolute nonsense. And if you really want to hear it, no, I don't"

"You don't what? Tell it, hyung. Spell it out"

He opens his mouth to do just that and just get over with this unnecessary conversation, but something stops him. He has the courage to say it, he had decided long ago that Namjoon was nothing but a friend, but something didn't feel right from the moment he decided on that. It was weirdly warm, bubbling on his chest and tugging at his conscience whenever he stood firm by his decision.

"See? You can't even say that you don't like me the way I do"

"It's all a ing misunderstanding, get me? I'll tell this for the first and last time: I like you, but not more than as a friend. That's it"

Both of them feel the air grow heavy as minutes pass.

"Right... you were right. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed on about this" He nods, more to convince himself than the other. "Right, I'm an idiot"

"That you are" Seokjin laughs, but could still feel the bitterness bite and burn the back of his throat. 

He just hopes they could stay friends. Maybe that could happen, because he still hasn't cleared his mind on that. Because Namjoon was too precious to lose to some argument.

"Yes, huh?" Namjoon asks himself once dinner's over and everyone were fast asleep. He has this bad habit of staying awake most of the night, but now he had work. He had to prepare question papers for the exams coming up, and honestly he couldn't even find the will to focus on it without thinking about the last conversation.

Maybe it was a mistake, a bloody mistake of his heart. He doesn't know, but it hurts him. Greatly. And he doesn't know what to do to cope with it, or lessen the pain.

"Joon? You're still awake?" He finally looks up, at Seokjin staring down at him, sleep pulling at his eyes. "At this hour?"

"I need to prepare these" He says and hurriedly casts his sight towards the strewn papers before him. But not even half a minute later, he gave up and hid his face. "It's hard"

"Seriously, preparing a question paper for a third grade class is hard? You're kidding me"

"Not only that; what we spoke also--" He takes a sharp breath, realizing what he was about to say. "Sorry, you should go sleep. I'm totally fine with staying up"

"I know, but I still care"

"Well, you know me" He forces the best smile he can and wishes Seokjin would finally leave. It was just too hard to face him anymore.

"They're goddamn pitiful and so ing stupid" Taehyung mutters above Jimin's head as the two look at Namjoon and Seokjin. Honestly, Jimin has no words to even start to explain how stupid they are.

The two had heard their argument that evening, when they returned first while bickering over something they didn't remember now.

"I want to give the both of them a nice smack round their heads and get tham back to their senses" Taehyung almost yells, and Jimin shuts his mouth close.

"It's them, the two most oblivious idiots among us. What else can we do?"

"I know!" Taehyung smirks (supposedly evil but it comes out funnier instead). "Project Matchmaker, start!"

"Wait, aren't they already the perfect match for each other?" Jimin laughs when Taehyung looks confused.

"Whatever; Project Bring Two Idiots Together"

"Project BTIT?"

"Gosh. Stop teasing me"

a/n: ha ha ha haaa.... why are they suffering i cri ;;

please leave your comments below on how this was!

also, i have an announcement.

my big finals are coming up this March, and i have to get more marks to prove myself. (and to keep up whatever reputation i have in school among the teacherslmao but whatever). so updates will be more less starting from the second half of feb and all through March. the time i'll fully come back is April, so i'm afraid this and another chapter would be my last post before i get busy with preparations. and no, i'm not abandoning this story! i'd probably try to finish up the rest of the chapters whenever i'm free, but i won't be posting them (because then i'll be distracted otl). 

so tl;dr: big finals coming up this march. possible hiatus after this and one more chapter.

thank you to everyone who reads this! <3