It was three am when I woke up, drenched in sweat. I remembered the letter that I left on the bench. I turned around to see Hyorin's empty bed. She must have gone to her boyfriend's.

How stupid was I? I left the letter and there was a high possibility that Sehun had found it. Well that would be awkward. If it wasn't that late, I would have gone to the river to find it. But it was three am and the only thing I could do was to lay in my bed and torture myself with thoughts.

Overthinking was something I couldn't get rid of no matter what I did. I sometimes wished that my brain had an ON/OFF button, so I could turn it off at certain times.
The letter thing kept irking me. What if Sehun found it? I mean, it wouldn't be such a big deal because we were practically strangers, but still he would find out something that I only wanted to keep to myself.
_____________________________________________________________________________

It had been three weeks since the day I left the letter. I tried to find it the next day, but it disappeared. It probably ended up in trash.

Jangmi came to the dorm to visit me. We were supposed to study, but we just kept talking. I told her about the thing that happened with Sehun.

"Wait, you say that he is Hyorin's cousin?" I nodded. "He is Oh Sehun, right? You know, I think Chanyeol knows him."

I wasn't surprised because Chanyeol was from Seoul and he knew a lot of people.

"Yeah, I think they went to the same high school. Chanyeol told me about him. He goes to law school, right?"

"Yes", I said and heaved a sigh. "But, he's not important right now. Jangmi, I think we should study." She started whining and, to shut her up, I threw a book right into her lap. "Come on, don't be lazy! You know we have to pass that test."

Three hours later, we were both exhausted. She tossed the book on my desk and yawned. "I hate you", she told me and I grinned, blowing her a kiss. "I should go, it's getting late."

She picked up her stuff and we said goodbyes. I decided to have a shower so I took out some clean clothes out of my closet.

 A knock on the door startled me. I had no idea who could it be. Mabe Jangmi forgot something? But she woudn't knock, of course.

I opened the door slowly and froze when I saw a familiar face. It was Sehun, hands in his pockets and eyes focused on me.

"Hi", I muttered, more than surprised seeing him.

"Hey, Chaerin. Uh, can I come in?" I nodded my head and moved away from the door so he could step in. Closing the door, I offered him to sit down, but he refused.

Even the air around us was awkward and I begged him inwardly to say something, but he didn't. He just kept standing in the middle of the room, looking to his shoes and sometimes glancing at me.

"Hyorin is not here", I said. I assumed that he was here to see her. He's her cousin after all.

He cleared his throat a few times. "Actually, I'm here to see you."

"Me?" I raised my voice a bit, surprised by his words. Why in hell would he come to see me?

"Yes, you. I believe this is yours", he muttered and took out something out of his pocket. I would recognize that paper among millions of others. My letter. I gulped nervously, my cheeks flushing red out of embarrassment. He had read the letter.

I took the letter out of his hand and placed it awkwardly on the desk. At that moment I wanted the Earth to swallow me. I didn't dare to look at him. "Thank you for returning it. I wanted to throw it away, though, but it's alright. Is that all?" I didn't want to sound rude, but I wanted him out of the room. I felt embarrassed enough and wanted some time for myself. Plus, I was tired from all the studying.

"I know your letter by heart."

I froze once again. Why? I turned my head slowly to look at him. His lips were pursed tightly, eyes gazing somewhere behind me. I didn't know what to say.

"Dear Minseok", he started and I turned pale. What was this guy doing? Was he trying to humiliate me? "I know that you will never read this letter, but I'm writing it anyway. I just want to say that I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you found a person who loves you and whom you love, even though that person isn't me. I just hope that we will remain friends. Stay happy and healthy. Kim Chaerin."

There was something in Sehun's voice while he was reciting my letter that pained me. He wasn't mocking me or laughing at me. He said it with so much pain in, equal pain I had the last time I read it.

I took a deep breath. "Why did you do this? What...why, Sehun?" I was at a loss of words.

He looked down again. "I don't know. I guess I...I've never read such a thing in my life."

"Such a thing? It's not some masterpiece, it's just a crappy letter."

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he spoke again. "I know that you don't have a boyfriend." I didn't know how to respond to that. "Why did you lie to me that you had one?"

I frowned. This guy was starting to annoy me. "Because we are basically strangers, Sehun. And I wanted to be alone, that's why I told you that. Besides, why do you care?"

He was now the one who didn't know what to say. He made a few steps to the door and I sighed almost too loudly, happy that he was leaving. Suddenly, he paused. 

"Good luck, Chaerin", he said and I stared at his broad back in confusion. "I hope that you will get over your crush and meet someone who will care about you", he said softly and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. Why was his voice so painful? And why was he saying all of that? We were close to strangers, we met only a few times. Why?

He left and I threw myself on the bed, tears spilling out of my eyes. After a few moments I realised something. Everytime I met Sehun, I was hurt. It wasn't directly because of him, but he took part in it. Subconsciously, I started blaming him for my pain.

But still, I kept thinking about him. It was weird, but sometimes I could feel other people's pain. Not literally feel, but I simply knew whether someone felt bad. Sehun looked good physically, more than good actually. He was really handsome. But there was something in the way his eyes moved, his voice sounded, that gave him away. He was hurt.

I kept telling myself I didn't care about him, but days had passed after our last meeting and my thoughts were still with him. Maybe I wanted to know more about him and help him, if he needed help. Damn me and my desire to meddle into other people's lives, even if it only ment trying to help them.