A/N

Okay before I start this chapter (last chapter ahhhh!), I want you all to listen to a song to go with this chapter.

Nana by the 1975

Do it. Go listen to it. Its worth your time and I feel it fits perfectly with the story right now.

Baekhyun POV

Dear Chanyeol,

I’ve been told by plenty that writing a letter may give me closure. It’s been 3 months. I still need closure.

I haven’t been doing too well. But how could I when you’re gone? I try not to blame you for my feelings but I don’t know what else to do.

Where to start...

Well, I don’t live in our apartment anymore. I barely went back there after you were gone. I remember a week after you left, I sat on your bed and cried. I cried for a day there, wishing you would appear by my side, but you never did. I think that’s when it really sunk in that you weren’t coming back and that’s when I really felt the most alone.

Sometimes when I’m with a friend watching a movie or in dance rehearsal working hard, it’s like you never left. But that feeling stays for no longer than a few minutes. It seems I can’t live a day in my life without wishing for your return. And I don’t think I ever will. I will think of you every day until I see you again.

I live with Jongdae right now and it’s a good living situation. Everyone, including me, decided it wasn’t a good idea for me to live alone for a while. Jongdae and I have become great friends over the past month or so and he helps me even with the hard stuff. We practice singing a lot. I want you to know, Chanyeol, that every time I sing, every time a note comes out of my mouth, it’s for you. I sing to get by the pain of your lost presence. I sing because you deserve so many songs for you. I wish I could’ve given you these songs while you were still here but even though you are not here, I will give them to you anyways. I hope you hear them. I hope you like them.

I bet if you came back, you’d have a lot of questions. Like, what happened to EXO? We’ll be announcing our split in a week. We knew that you would want us to stay together, to keep on performing without you. Even if that’s what you would’ve wanted, I think you would also understand why we couldn’t do it anymore. Believe me tried. That past couple of months have shown us that we can’t be EXO without you. You were a glue, Chanyeol. Even if you didn’t see it while you were here, we needed you. EXO can’t be the same without you. I’m sorry we couldn’t do it anymore but we can’t get by as a group without you. I’m sad to see us split but I know that it’s time to move on.

I’ll keep singing. I’ll sing everyday. I don’t need the group to sing. I’ll still see all of the members, too. Friends are what I have now that I don’t have you. Singing is the only thing to make things feel alright at the moment.

I’ve been eating. I know I said I haven’t been doing too well, but I realized that I had to at least stay here. I had to stay on this earth because I didn’t want to leave behind a hole like you. So I’m choosing to live. I’m choosing everyday to keep going. I didn’t get here on my own. I’ve seen lots of medical professionals, spent time in a hospital, I had to talk a lot about my feelings, which I’m not particularly good at. Even this letter is another assignment from a therapist. But I wanted to do this one. And nobody is going to ever see this letter but me.

I miss you every ing day. I want you to know that. I want you to know that you didn’t have to leave but I understand why you did.

I’ve never believed in an afterlife before and maybe I still don’t but I’ve never wished there was one more than at this moment. I want to live a long time, but I also want to see you again. I hope you’ll be there waiting for me when I eventually get to where you are. I hope you exist somewhere so we can sing together again.

I loved you. I love you. I will continue to love you.

Love,

Baekhyun

A/N

So, that’s it!

This chapter is short but I feel that this was the way it had to be. Tell me what you thought about it.

Thank you so much if you read my story! I love you!