Jiyong eyes were roaming around, searching for a specific person. The crowd was extra big this year since it is a combination camping with first year and second year. And jiyong couldn’t find seungri among them. “jiyong-ah” jiyong smiles at his two besties who are running toward him. “the weather is really hot today” daesung complain as soon as he arrived. And jiyong notices youngbae was looking around too. “wae? Are u searching for jieun?” youngbae eyes widen at his words. “oh my god, finally kwon jiyong pays attention to me” youngbae over reaction makes jiyong giggles.

                        “arghh why are the bus not coming? I m going to die from burning” daesung was sweating like crazy. It is really a typical camping trip where the bus are not ready and they have to wait for a long time. “Ohh jieun is there” youngbae suddenly looks nervous and point at a direction. Jiyong checks the girl who youngbae claims to be his true love. The girl was short and her skin is pale. She was laughing brightly with her friends. Jiyong gets a very good vibe from her. “Not bad young..” youngbae wasn’t there anymore. He is now talking with her. Jiyong smiles at the sight of them. They look good together.

And jieun really did become youngbae true love.                                                                  

                      Jiyong started looking around again for seungri. Jiyong intention wasn’t to find seungri. He just did it out of habit. He just love to look at seungri anywhere, anytime. The wondering eyes of his stops at a lonely spot. He stares at the sight of seungri. Seungri was alone. At the place, where everyone is having fun with their friends, seungri was alone. He was standing there alone like he doesn’t really affected by the people around him. But jiyong knows, it hurts to be the odd one out.

                        Jiyong points at seungri “that one is also first year right? Why are u guys leaving him alone? We should be helping out each other on a trip like this isn’t it?” the group of first year just blink at him. Jiyong knows he is acting weird right now but jiyong really don’t want to see seungri being alone like that. One of the first year smiles at him sweetly. “it is not like that sunbae” she said calmly. “seungri is always like that. He never let anyone gets close to him. Everyone tried to drag him to their groups but seungri is the one who is rejecting those. Seungri is like that” as soon as the girl ended, the guy in the hoodie looks at jiyong like he has something to tell jiyong. But he avoid his eyes right away when jiyong looks at him.

Jiyong doesn’t really know why seungri is being this way. But jiyong wanted to change it. Jiyong wanted to change seungri into a better person.

                  Jiyong puts his bag on the seat beside him as soon as he seated. Jiyong doesn’t really want anyone to come and disturb his peaceful sleep. Youngbae and daesung were in the same row as him and they were sitting together. Jiyong saw a lot of student eyeing the seat beside him. But jiyong simply doesn’t remove his bag which makes the other people gives up the seat. “is there any seats left in here?” jiyong heard his professor question.

                    He just slowly close his eyes and try to ignore it. “the first year bus are all full but there is still some who doesn’t have seats. That’s why tell me if there are seats available” jiyong was praying so hard that the professor wont notice the empty seat beside him. “it seems like there are none” jiyong eyes widen. It is definitely seungri voice. Jiyong was sure. And in a second, jiyong  jumps out of his seat with his hand up in the air. “THERE IS A SEAT” a loud shout come out from jiyong. And his eyes met with seungri. Seungri looks bewilder but soon break into a laugh. Jiyong is looking silly again. Everyone on the bus were looking at him and laughing at him. “kwon jiyong is crazy” he hears youngbae scoffs and shoot a glare quickly. “Oh, seems like our jiyong is very eager to share his seat” even the professor is humiliating him.

Seungri changes jiyong into something that jiyong never expects.

                    “thank you sunbae” seungri said with a cheeky smile. “do u like camping?” jiyong asks a question to change the attention on that embarrassing incident. “not really.. I don’t really like da..” seungri smiles. “how about u sunbae?” seungri changes the subject. “umm me too. Not really a fan” seungri nodded and yawned. He looks tired. “get some sleep. After a while the road will really be bumpy and we will not get our peaceful sleep” jiyong shares his experience. “nae sunbae” seungri nodded and close his eyes ready to sleep. And jiyong did the same.

Little did they know, after a while, they were both sleeping on each other.

                    Just like jiyong said, the camping trip was just another typical camping. As soon as they arrived at 4:00, they were given tasks to do in 5 member groups. And jiyong coincidentally is in the same group with seungri again. But jiyong doesn’t even have that much time to spend with seungri because they all were to busy having to build the tent and helping around. But jiyong can feel that seungri is keeping an eye on him. Because whenever he needs help, seungri just appear out of nowhere with a smile on his face and help him. And just like that a lot of time passes and it is already 6:30 when everything finished. Jiyong sits down immediately all tired from working. But jiyong cant even rest because the professor bring them another tasks.

                   “Because we are doing camp fire after a while, we need some fire wood. So please send some people from each group to find those” jiyong sighed. He was really tired and he is definitely not in the mood to wonder in the forest for wood. He looks at his group member, youngbae and daesung are surely thinking the same thing as him. So he just looks at two first years. The first year named joon seems to get his mind. “then we will just look for it. Sunbaes can just rest for a while” the boy quickly said which make jiyong happy inside. “let’s go seungri-ah” seungri wasn’t moving.

                  “i.. can I just.. stay here and help..?” jiyong was slightly concerned by seungri words. And seungri face definitely shows that he is not in good conditions. He looks really concerned about something and jiyong can see sweat forming on seungri face. “ya seungri.. ofcourse u cant do it. They are seniors” joon nudged seungri. Seungri doesn’t say a word but he was looking at jiyong with a pleasing eyes. “that right seungri-ah hyungs are really tired. That’s why please help us out this time” youngbae said.  “JIYONG GROUP ARE U NOT GOING?” the professor shouted at them. Jiyong glances at seungri. “please help us” he said with a pat. And seungri just nodded his head and hang his head down.

Jiyong has always regretted of what he did that day. If he can turn back the time, he would definitely asks seungri to just stay.

                       “wow really the darkness is so strong at places like this. It is only over 7:30 yet it feels like midnight” daesung rumbles as he helps jiyong with the food.  “Oh jieun is coming back. I will go and help her with woods” youngbae claim and went towards jieun groups. “he doesn’t even help us and look at him going crazy in front of her” daesung scoffs. “that is called love” jiyong mumbles. Daesung looks straight back at jiyong. “kwon jiyong is being strange again” daesung shakes his head. Jiyong just gives a tiny smiles and look at the people coming back from finding woods. He still cant see seungri and joon. “why are they being late? Aren’t all of them go together?” jiyong questions daesung. He was slightly worried by not seeing seungri among them. “I don’t really know too”

                      Jiyong lets out a relieved sigh after seeing joon coming back with load of woods in his hand. They might be searching a lot that they are late for 15 minutes. But then jiyong feels his blood rushing when he notices joon was the only one who return. Where was seungri? that was the first question that pop up in jiyong head and many others follow closely. Jiyong rushed toward joon and stares into his eyes. “Where is seungri?” joon looks quite fluster and he doesn’t answer right away. Jiyong grabs his collar. He was angry. “I said WHERE IS SEUNGRI?” jiyong could feel all the attention on him but he just doesn’t care as of now. Joon shakes his head slowly. “hasn’t seungri reach the base? We were going to the opposite direction from the group and after that I lost seungri and I.. I thought… he has already return.. so I just search way back..”

                  Jiyong stares at the map in joon hands. “Did seungri.. has map with him?” jiyong was boiling inside. He just keep wishing that the answer would be yes but joon just shakes his head. “what to do..? that is bad..” jiyong turn his head to see the boy with the hoodie that he saw in the morning looking nervous. Jiyong walks toward him. “what? Why?” jiyong cant even breath properly. He doesn’t really know why but he is just too scared. It was his fault. He lets seungri go when seungri clearly looked like he doesn’t want to go. He looks at the hoodie boy face “why?” he lets out the words. The boy nervously look at him. “seungri.. seungri is scared of the dark..”

 Jiyong discover something about seungri that night. The fact that seungri is scared of the dark and the reason why.

                      “SEUNGRI LEE SEUNGRI” jiyong tightly grasped the flashlight in his hands and look around. All the others are finding seungri too. But jiyong wanted to find seungri the first. Jiyong wanted to talk with seungri. Jiyong wanted to give seungri a warm hug.The hoodie boy words fill his head again. He cant let it be. Right now he need to just focus on finding seungri. “SEUNGRI-AH LEE SEUNG..” “sunbae” jiyong world stopped. He flashes toward the direction to find a crumpled seungri. Jiyong without even hesitating walk towards seungri and hugged him tightly. Seungri hands moved and hugged him too.

Seungri body was cold. That was the first time seungri body was cold.

                         Jiyong hugs on tighter and keep patting seungri. He doesn’t say a words and just listen to seungri loud sobbing. Seungri was letting out all the tears he holds in. Seungri grasp on jiyong become harder. And he slowly mumbles words. “..do..nt.. leave..me..i..m..scared.. I said I m scared” seungri keep repeating those words through the whole time. And only after a while which feels like forever to jiyong, seungri falls asleep in jiyong arms. Jiyong looks at the sleeping guy in front of him. Seungri eyes were swollen from crying and tears still remain of his face. But he looks so beautiful at that moment. Jiyong planted a kiss on seungri tears and whispered. “How could they.. hurt someone like u?”

                            The hoodie guy looks at jiyong, “u cant say that to anyone though. I found out accidently about that too. So u should never told seungri that I know” jiyong nodded quickly. “seungri wrote in his diary that his parents used to hit him and locked him in dark room when he was young. It seems like it was really extreme because seungri is really scared of the darkness and…” he hesitated abit. “he writes that he is scared of people and never trust them.” And the puzzles fit in.

My First Love was just like me.

My First Love was hurted and abused child just like me.

My First Love has scars just like me.

But he was warm and i was cold.

And we needed each other to heal.
                        

Phewww I hope i did a great job in explaining things :)

But if there is something u dont really get, u can just ask me ^^

Since i was away for a long time, i decided to write a long one so enjoy xD

And about the request of seungri POV, i m actually thinking about it too !

But i m afraid that it would break the story flow but i think i will be writing one ~

Please continue supporting me ^^ love ya guys <3