Woohyun spends his thoughts on the pain as his hands stay busy. He wonders if he should have told Sunggyu the truth. He clenches his hand, feeling the bandage tighten around it. Sunggyu seemed trustworthy but Woohyun still worried how he would react. Would Sunggyu look at him differently? Pity him? The possible outcomes all seemed negative and made his head spin.

Woohyun looked at Sunggyu from across the room. He’d been teaching a lesson to the class. Sunggyu met him with such awe in his eyes and in that moment, he couldn’t hold anything back as the tears welling in his eyes finally broke.

Woohyun tore away from his chair and ran to the hall. Sunggyu, noticing this, tells the class to read the next chapter silently while he stepped out for a second. Woohyun hadn't made it very far before he was forced to the ground. His breathing quickened as he felt an episode coming on. He didn’t feel sane, he felt sure that he wasn’t sane. He couldn't hold his emotions in no matter how much the voice in his head told him you’re fine. From his hands shaking to his sobbing spasms, it was messy. He hid his face deep in his knees because everything hurt and he was ashamed.

Sunggyu rests his hand on Woohyun’s back.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” He says softly as another sharp spasm hits.

He doesn’t say much after that, he just holds him under his arm, rubbing his shoulder. Sunggyu finally sees the multitude of bruises on Woohyun’s neck as he’s bent over. He exhales.

“ I didn’t even… do anything wrong. I didn’t, I didn’t d…o…” Woohyun managed to say through shaky breaths.

“I know you didn’t.”

It finally dawns on him how much of a burden this is to put all this on Sunggyu. They had only just met and here he was blubbering like an idiot.

Woohyun looks him in the eye again, but Sunggyu can’t tell what he’s thinking. His head drops again. He simply shuts his eyes tight, apologizing again and again until his voice could no longer produce the sound. Sunggyu’s hand grip tightly onto his shoulders.

“Don’t ever apologize for that.”

-

“I have to go.” Woohyun says finally, grabbing his bag and running away. He didn’t want to see him anymore, it was making his chest ache. Woohyun runs straight home and to his room. He lays there, on his bed, with his face burrowed deep in his pillow hoping the crying stops. But it doesn’t and the fabric pressed tightly against his eyes won’t dry.

When he calms, his mind drifts to Sunggyu and what he could be doing, how he’s feeling, or if he’s sleeping… He wonders how he’ll face him every day without breaking into tears. His face feels hot just thinking about it.

—

It’s just past seven when he emerges from his room.

“I’m going for a walk.”

The maid’s hand brushes over his back as he passes her.

“Don’t be out for too long.” She replies.

This night is much warmer than the previous. It smells like autumn. The fallen leaves crunch under his heel while the rest swirl through the air. He doesn’t know exactly where He’s headed. his feet simply carry him forward. He walks for some time until he finds a convenience store. And with what small pocket change he has, buys a snack. He rests his feet on a chair outside as he unwraps a piece of triangle kimbap. He leans back in his seat as he chews, watching the night traffic build up.

It’s peaceful for once.

“Nam Woohyun.”

Well, it was.

His attention moves to a tall figure in front of him. He has his hands in his pockets and a hip jutted out.

“Myungsoo. What do you want?”

“Nothing! I came for the food, not you.”

“Whatever”

Woohyun closes his eyes, taking another bite.

“Is something wrong?”

It was Myungsoo again, this time with a plastic bowl of ramen in his right hand, glass bottle of soda and chopsticks in the other. He sat down at the same table.

“Why do you care?”

“ I don’t… really. You just seem off.”

“Well, I am.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me?”

“ It’s just I’m always bugging you and you look really depressed.”

“Look, Myungsoo, it’s got nothing to do with you. I have a lot of other in my life.”

Myungsoo was pretty empathetic, despite his usually annoying persistence. He sat there, trying to just talk. It wasn’t like him.

“What’s with you? You don’t normally act like this.”

“Well, earlier today He saw—”

“Saw what..”

“You and Mr.Kim, you were—”

Woohyun’s chair flings back as he lurches across the table to grab Myungsoo by the collar.

“What do you know.” He wasn’t sure if it even sounded like a question, he was so beaming with anger that everything he said was just spilled out.

“Your father.”

“If this is a joke I will beat you right here and now.”

“I-It’s not a joke! I saw you guys outside by chance, I swear! I wasn’t eavesdropping I was just passing by, I promise!“

Woohyun tightened his grip.

“Kim Myungsoo, if you tell anyone about what happened today, know that I will kill you.”

“Okay, okay! Calm down man!”

Woohyun took a deep breath, letting him go, and picking up his fallen chair. Myungsoo is flustered, Woohyun can see it on his face. Woohyun’s not one to lose his temper. He doesn’t want to ever be like his father. But he knows how to act like it. Yeah, Woohyun was obviously angry but if he didn’t act now, Myungsoo would’ve tried to take advantage of him like they all do.

But the longer they sat there, the more Woohyun began to wonder about his true intentions in coming here. No matter how hard he tries, He can’t understand what other people are thinking. He can’t tell if they’ll pity him or mock him. He wished they would just ignore him altogether.

“I’m going home.”

Myungsoo looks up from his food. Woohyun quietly stuffs his wrapper in his jacket pocket and walks away.

He abruptly stop walking. . If he knows than how can he be certain that other people didn’t see. What if they heard everything too? He still feels like an idiot for even losing control of his emotions in the first place.

He keeps trying to tell himself that this is all a dream, that he’ll wake up tomorrow like none of this ever happened.