Woohyun’s heart stopped as he slid away from Myungsoo in a panic. A flustered sensation rushes over his entire being. His mouth hung open but a stiff feeling caught in his throat as he was unable to articulate any words. He stared into Myungsoo aimlessly but he looked unfathomed by Woohyun’s reaction. 

        “Myungsoo..” 

    He held his hand over his lips.Myungsoo leaned in again. Woohyun froze.

        “Woohyun, what are you getting so worked up about?” he laughed “ you’re going to hurt my feelings”.

        “You kissed me.”

        “And you kissed me, so?”

        “Woah, wait a minute I didn't do anything.”

        “Exactly, you didn't do anything. You let me.”

        “How was I suppose to know you were going to do that!?”

    Myungsoo leaned back under the support of his hands behind him. He looked up at the sky b with stars. He laughed weakly, blowing out a vehemence of steamy breath. 

        “You’ve never liked me,, have you? Not even in a ‘friend’ kind of way? Of course, I’m asking this as a rhetorical question, I don’t think I want to hear your answer because I have a feeling about what you’d say and I want to pretend for a moment.”

        “Myungsoo, I—…”

    Myungsoo’s smile faded.

        “No, Woohyun, I understand. I didn't do this to make you like me. I just… I don’t know, I wanted you to know because if I didn't then this gnawing feeling in my chest would devour me.”

         “So,” Myungsoo’s hand rested upon his own “Nam Woohyun, I like you”.

    The following silence rang in his ears. we looked into each other, searching for something that never existed. 

                        —

    Myungsoo set the plastic bag by his side as he pushed off his seat. He told Woohyun that if he needed anything that he could call him. As he turned away, a soft “Take care” was the last thing Woohyun heard from Kim Myungsoo.

     Fortunately, the bleeding had stopped by this point. Certain areas were painful to touch, but he was in one piece. He gathered the medical ointment and the bag. Noticing another item within the bag. A set of triangle kimbab with a crumpled up note.

‘Next time let’s have a proper meal’

- MS. 

    Woohyun chewed on the snack gently, careful enough not to aggravate the cuts on his lip. the taste was lonely and stale.

    And in a flash, a faint image of Sunggyu popped into his head. His hands were placed firmly on Woohyun’s head and the two smiled as their eyes locked. Woohyun felt like he may be hurting him acting this rashly. He has feelings too, feelings that Woohyun had so selfishly ignored. So he tried calling Sunggyu again. The line crackled then a husky voice said hello.

        “Sunggyu…”

        “Oh, Woohyun!” his voice lightened. “Sorry bud, this is Sungwoo, Sunggyu is passed out.”

        “Is he ok?”

        “He was just drinking, I think. He reeks of soju.”

        “Thanks, Hyung.”

    The longer Woohyun walked, the more he becomes dulled by the changing temperature.The wind had burned his nose raw and his fisted hands grew numb in his pocket. It came to the point where he lacked all feeling in his body, but still, He walked on.

     Sungwoo let him in when Woohyun knocked lightly.  Woohyun shook his shoes off and stepped in. He could hear the roar of their television, the voice of a sport’s castor drowned out the crowd cheers. Sungwoo had disappeared into his room almost immediately and Woohyun was left with an empty room. Sunggyu was nowhere to be found. 

    Woohyun pushed Sunggyu’s bedroom door lightly with his foot. It creaked as it slid across the wooden floor. The hallway light cast a hazy light onto the room. Sunggyu lay on his back. It looked evident that he had begun stripping his clothes off but had stopped halfway. 

    Woohyun went and sat by his side, taking his limp hand into his own and the outside with his thumb. Sunggyu turned his body to him and Woohyun could see under the faint light that his eyes had opened. Sunggyu looked at him with a heavy glazed over gaze. His nose twitched and he his lips.

        “Woohyun” 

     Sunggyu’s voice was hoarse and weak. He was crying as he spoke his name. Woohyun held his hand on his warm cheek and assured him that everything was ok now.

    Woohyun squeezed himself onto his bed with a swift movement. Sunggyu’s tears continued to fall on his pillow.  His eyes were full of fear and lacked his usual warmth. Sunggyu couldn't keep his eyes off Woohyun as if in any second he might disappear from him again.

    Sunggyu’s hand shook violently as he reached for Woohyun for a kiss. Sunggyu’s movements were sloppy and his lips tasted like alcohol. He pressed his forehead against Woohyun's as he was unable to keep it together anymore and sobbed.

        “I thought I lost you.”

    He wrapped his arms around Sunggyu and held him close as he let out everything he had kept inside.

        “I’ll never leave again, I promise.”