Author: greyrani

Genre: angst, romance

DAY 780

I stared at the night sky through the window of my study chamber. The sky was dark; no stars, no moon. Just like the state of my heart at the moment.

I reminisced about the happy moments in my life which surprisingly were not many. It was only my obliviousness that allowed my younger self to not feel pain despite the circumstances. Being separated from you when we were little, my queen, was one of my saddest experience, yet that time I naively thought everything would be back to how it was after I finished my study. I would be able to reunite with you, with my parents, with my friends here. Now, I wondered, would it be better if back then I just ran away from my duty and chose a carefree life.

I realized that my father’s reign was never been settled. There had always been rebellion in different regions. One defeated, another one would brew. All this time I didn’t understand why people would be disatisfied about my father’s governance despite he was called as the most generous king this kingdom ever had.

I turned my gaze to the pile of documents lied on my table.

Now that every evidence was presented before me, I thought, perhaps, it was better I never investigated it ever since the beginning. The evidences had broken my heart, and this time, even with the most optimistic thought I couldn’t mask this pain.

My father whom I respected the most, turned out was not as angelic as I’ve been perceived. To be able to reign over this kingdom, my father had killed his own brother, the true crown prince and heir of the kingdom. He also banished my uncle’s family for the accusation of treason. Those rebellions, most of them, were ignited by my late uncle’s supporters.

How did my father kill my uncle? By poisoning him with the help of your father, Shida Toru. Probably it was the strongest reason Shida family gained more power during my father’s reign. Then our marriage was arranged to secure that secret.  Or so my father thought.

My hands still trembled when I reached for a certain document. My eyes scanned each letter carefully. I had been rereading the report for numerous times, and I still wished my eyes were deceiving me. Yet, no matter hard I gritted my teeth, no matter desperate I chanted my wish, the letters never changed.

Lady Poison. I had heard the name, and my spies confirmed that it was her who had created the deadly yet undetected poison for Shida family all this time, including the one my father used to kill my uncle. The murder of my uncle happened before I was born, so I never expected the lady would affect my own life. However, the report I was holding proven me so wrong.

Lady Poison was once a royal healer in my grandfather’s reign. Manami Sayuri. She was known to have the expertise of mixing herbs and inventing new medicines. However, oneday she suddenly disappeared. However, her disappearance wasn’t given enough attention since around that time, my grandfather passed away. The throne were let empty for a year even though my uncle took the leader role. Then when I was only several months old within my mother’s womb, father killed uncle, hence he could ascend the throne as legitimate successor.

What no one but only few people knew was the fact that Manami Sayuri was Shida Toru’s secret lover. Chinen Yuri had personally explained and handed the document to me; the document about Manami Sayuri’s child. It was written that Manami Sayuri left the palace knowing she was pregnant. Shida Toru took her under his protection, and hid her somewhere outside the capital, in one of the mansions of Shida family. A couple months after my birth, the report said that Manami Sayuri also gave birth to a baby girl. Shida Toru took the baby girl to the main manor and raised the child. However, instead of acknowledge the child as a bastard of his and his mistress affair, he bestowed the child as legitimate members of his family, as the child of his and his legal wife. He named her Shida Mirai.

“Shida Mirai,” I muttered your name.

Inhaling a deep breath, I closed my eyes. My temples throbbed with headache. Now it was a bit make sense why the lady of Shida House outcasted you and favor only your sister. Yet, I still couldn’t understand why then your father didn’t care about you either. The report said that Shida Toru loved Manami Sayuri even more than his own legal wife. So, why he didn’t cherish their child?

I looked again at the parchment in my hands. After giving birth, Manami Sayuri’s whereabout was unknown. Shida Toru had moved her to another place, yet Yuri couldn’t find the exact place nor finding information whether Manami Sayuri was still alive or not.

I pondered about one certain thing: who was the current poison maker for Shida fa