And there I was, back hugging Yoon Bomi as she asked me the question everyone in the dorm wanted an answer to. To be honest, I want to know the answer too. I want to know the answer as much as she does. Despite having a month to think, I still can't figure my feelings out. I stared at her in surprise as she returned my gaze, patiently waiting for me to finally reply. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words were able to leave my mouth. 

"U-um..." I managed to mumble.

Bomi sighed, "Forget it. I shouldn't have asked."

"B-B-Bbom-ah...." I stuttered.

"No. I shouldn't have let you in this room." She interrupted.

I don't know what makes me sadder, the fact that she's getting upset again or that her voice is so weak due to loss of energy during the month she spent depressed.

"Don't be like that..." I pleaded.

She pushed my arms off of her, stood up, then faced me.

"Actually, if anyone can say 'don't be like that', it should be me saying it to you." She retorted.

"What?..." I replied. She's never talked back to me like that before.

"You had no right to read what I wrote inside my diary." She stated.

"I-I know..." I replied, "I'm really sorry, but curiosity took over me. I mean, what did you expect just leaving it under your bed like that?... Eventually someone was going to find it..."

"You want to know what I expected?" She asked. Keep in mind her voice was weak, but her tone was as stern as it could be.

Aish, I had a feeling I picked the wrong way to word that sentence...

"I expected the unnie who I trusted the most in this world to respect my privacy. I expected you to just leave it where it was and continue your day normally." She began.

All I could do was stand there and bite my lip while she scolded me; I did wrong and I can admit it.

"You had a month without me, did you even think about your feelings for me?" She asked.

"Bomi-yah, was that the reason why you excluded me from your life for a month?..." I asked.

"No, that's stupid." She retorted, "I excluded you from my life becuase I poured my heart out into that diary. I wrote things I couldn't say to anyone in there. That little book was my sanctuary for my insecurities. Do you think I deliberately spent this month in hiding and in depression? Do you think I isolated myself because I wanted to? I hid myself from the world because I was scared and broken; I was scared of being judged. I was too embarrassed to show my face to anyone. I was broken because my biggest secret was exposed and there was nothing I could do about it. I spent every single night beating myself up and calling myself stupid because I had feelings for a woman. I couldn't handle the pressure of facing everyone. You're lucky I feel weak, or I'd be yelling at you until my voice is gone."

I began to tear up, "I'm sorry for reading your diary, Bbom-ah... I didn't mean to hurt you."

She looked at me with an unmoved expression, "Cry if you want. I'm not going to drop whatever I'm doing and give you a hug like I used to. I'm not the person I once was. Look at me; look what's become of me. And who's to blame for the hell I've been lead to? You. Park Chorong. But you know what's worse?"

I only replied by looking in her eyes, speechless.

"I'm still in love with you..."

My expression was filled with pain and sorrow. I've never been this hurt before. I never expected the person to hurt me with harsh words would be my Pabomi. We were the perfect pair on stage and off the stage. We barely ever fought before, and if we fought, it wasn't about anything serious. That is, until now. 

But the main thing I realized is that she must be hurting more than I am right now.

"Bbom-ah... Unnie still loves you for who you are..." I mumbled.

"Don't make me misunderstand." She continued, "I know you only care about me as a little sister. That's all I've been to you. But I can't blame you for that, I know you like men."

"Bomi-yah... don't say that..." I pleaded, "I-I, I just don't know my feelings about you, yet... It's not that easy, since you're a woman...."

"Me being this way wasn't a choice." She stated, "I didn't choose to fall in love with a woman, unnie. I didn't choose to love you. If I had a choice, I would've chosen to love men and not women so we wouldn't be like this. But look at us now."

"I'm so sorry..." I sincerely apologized, "I didn't think reading your diary would cause the chaos it has..."

"You can't choose to love me back, unnie. It doesn't work like that since we're both women. It's either you love me, or you don't." She continued, "But I think I got my answer."

"You have to believe me, Bomi-yah, I'm just not sure about my fe-"

"Just get out." Bomi commanded, "I think it's best if we don't see each other again."

"But we're both part of Apink..." I replied, "There's no way we can't not see each other..."

"Then we'll col