She stood there frozen; I don’t know what she’s thinking or how she's feeling, but I know she’s hurt...

“Bomi-yah…” I calmly called, taking a step towards her.

But with every step forward I took, she took a step back.

“Bbom-ah… please say something…” I begged, hurting inside just at the sight of seeing her so frightened.

“You had no right to read that!” She screamed, tears streaming down her now damp cheeks, “YOU HAD NO RIGHT!”

“I know and I'm so-“

Before I could finish talking, she turned around and immediately ran out the door and out of the dorm.

“Bomi-yah! Wait!” I cried as she made her way out.

She ignored me. I can’t blame her, though; I would’ve done the same thing, but worse.

“Damn it!” I cursed.

“Unnie!” Eunji called, running in with the other members, “You cussed…”

“What happened?” Namjoo asked, “Bomi unnie just sped out of the dorm crying."

“She ignored me when I called for her…” Naeun added.

“Did you two fight?” Hayoung asked.

“Oh, no, we didn’t fight…” I mumbled.

“Unnie, what are you holding behind your back?…” Eunji keenly noticed.

I looked down at my feet and slowly showed her what I had in my hand.

“Ah…” Eunji realized, “I get it.”

My eyes shot up at the country girl. What exactly does she know?

“Kids, can I speak to Chorong unnie alone for a bit?” Eunji kindly asked the younger girls, “I’ll explain everything to all of you later.”

The rest of Apink dejectedly nodded and exited the room with so many questions but no answers to any of them. Eunji shut the door and kindly gestured me to sit on my bed. I sat back on my bed and Eunji sat on Bomi’s. 

“Unnie… did you happen to read her diary?” She asked.

I nodded shamefully.

“What was her diary entry about?” She asked with a certain tone which made me believe she knew, but wanted me to say it.

I couldn’t meet her gaze, “I… can’t bring myself up to say it.”

“Did she write about her feelings for you?…” She questioned.

My eyes shot in her direction, “You knew?…”

“Honestly, she never told me.” Eunji stated, “I just had a feeling she liked you.”

“How?” I curiously asked.

“I noticed there’s just something about the way she is with you. It’s different than how she is with me. It’s like… well, how can I word this? Hmm, it’s like whenever she hugs you and talks to you she’s longing for something. Despite her bubbly personality, I always noticed her holding back something when she was with you. I wasn’t sure at first, but as time went on I figured it out.” She explained.

“Why haven’t you asked her about it?…” I asked.

“It’s a really sensitive subject, unnie…” Eunji began, “The fact that she likes girls and not boys is a really sensitive subject. It’s not something that a person can just casually ask about; it’s not exactly the ‘norm’, you know? I don’t even know if she accepted the fact that she likes you.”

“Eunji-yah…” I quietly began, “She’s in love with me…”

The third oldest sighed in pain, how bad must our Bomi feel right now?

I let out a deep breath, “I had no idea she felt this way about me…” 

She looked at me with a serious gaze, “Unnie…”

“Yeah?…”

“What are your feelings towards Bomi?”

I looked at her in shock; I never thought that one day someone would seriously ask me about my feelings for a female.

“I-I… I don’t know…” I replied, “We’ve always been close and I love having her around me… but I just don’t know.”

“Ignoring the fact that Bbom is a woman, what do you like about her?” She asked.

I took a moment to ponder, “Well… I love her sense of humour; I’m always breathless from laughing when we’re together.”

Eunji grinned, “Okay, tell me more.”

“I love how her complex about her small lips. She’s very cute whenever she tries to hide it from everyone and how she reacts when someone brings it up. Personally, I think her tiny lips are one of her cutest facial features. I love how she’ll randomly cling onto me while we’re walking. I love her spontaneous and bubbly personality; it’s embarrassing sometimes, but we wouldn’t be the same without it. I love how comfortable we are with each other; there’s nothing I can’t say or do when I’m around her.”

She nodded, “And after saying all that, how do you feel about her now?”

“I-I…. I still don’t know…” I replied.

“Will you give it some thought, unnie?” She asked, almost pleading.

I nodded, “Since it’s about our Bomi, I’ll give it a lot of thought.”

The Busan girl sighed, “I never thought we’d have to experience something like this."

“Should I go after her?” I asked, “I know exactly where she’ll be.”

Eunji shook her head in response, “Just leave her for now. You’re probably the last person she wants to see.”

I pouted, “I’m worried about her, Eunji-yah…”

She got off her bed and gave me a soft but heartfelt hug, “I’m sure you and Bomi will figure it out.”

I nodded with thanks after we separated, “What do we do now?…”

“Well for me, I think I owe the trio of confused idols an explanation.” Eunji concluded as she made her way to the door, “Oh, and unnie...”

“Yeah?”

Eunji looked at me with an expression of pain, “If you end up not feeling the same way about her, please let her down as nicely as possible… Apink wouldn’t be the same without her, and neither would I…”

The only thing I could do was nod as a reply, speechless about the thought of losing her.

Eunji gave me a half smile, then exited the room and shut the door silently.

I can’t stand the thought of he