Chapter 6: Filling the Void
The Color of Our MemoriesA/N: "----" at the center means that its a flashback, a recollection of past events.
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The Color of Our Memories:
Chapter 6 - Filling the Void
Hyoyeon laid flat on the cold wooden floors of the living room. She was the first amongst the members to wake up—though really, she had been awake all night—and like always she waited a few fleeting moments for another person to accompany her, the first person usually being Taeyeon. This morning however, Taeyeon was no where to be found, the petite girl out of the dorms early to a drama shooting.
Most of the time it depended on whoever felt like waking up first. If she made breakfast consisting of Sooyoung's favorites, then it was certain that the slim girl would walk out from her room in a sleepy trance, the aromas luring her out from underneath the bedsheets, her stomach yearning to be satiated.
Their schedule today consisted of nothing short of demanding: a talk show prerecording at nine, various awards show rehearsals at twelve, a solo magazine shoot at three, a drama briefing at five, and finally dance practice for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow, they would soon be on a plane, off to Japan to perform for the country's respective end of the year ceremonies. This christmas season seemed to be even busier, if not, the busiest for them in comparison to previous years. .
Hyoyeon filled her lungs with air and then let out an exasperated sigh. She dreaded to think about how she would manage with a streak of sleepless nights on her record.
Gaze fixed on the ceiling, she pushed aside any thoughts and tried as best she could to relish in the stillness of this moment. Her mind had always been darting from one thought to another and it always left her feeling breathless and tired.
Now, being alone in the living room, sunlight barely peeping through the windows, she felt the load on her mind lighten somewhat. She brought her eyelids to a close and drummed her fingertips on the floor, humming a tune to a song to go along with the beat.
She felt empty finally... until she realized what song she was humming. The last part of the song she sang along to in her mind rung loudly, as if it transcended the boundary between the conscience and physical world, and was now echoing throughout their dorm unit for everyone to hear.
I'm a lazy girl.
The string of musical notes coming from abruptly came to a halt and the dancer drew in her bottom lip and chewed on it.
"I should have said something."
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Hyoyeon eyed the boxes set up in their living room from her seat on the couch, Sunny and Seohyun who accompanied her doing the same. She mentally picked up the cardboard boxes and turned them upside down to empty the contents, and when she saw Jessica lugging a box into the space, Hyoyeon took that box too and did the same.
Jessica wasn't making any sense. Their company wasn't making sense. How could they just let Jessica move out? Where was she going to go?
But there was nothing Hyoyeon could do about it. If this was really what her friend wanted then all she could do was to support her decision and help her in doing what she dreaded for Jessica to do—move out. The suddenness in the decision didn't help with Hyoyeon's lingering suspicions about Jessica either and without a second thought, she blame—
“Hyoyeon stop”
Hyoyeon couldn’t let herself think about it now. She spent enough time thinking about it during her sleepless nights, even if she didn’t want to. Just forget about her suspicions about Jessica, that was it. Jessica moving out had nothing to do with her, definitely.
Jessica's grasp on the bigger box she was carrying into the front entrance near the living room begun to falter. Hyoyeon could see how Jessica's muscles trembled visibly in her dwindling stamina. She hopped off her seat and smiling, grabbed the box from her friend's grasp, her fingers grazing Jessica's.
"Wow this box isn't even that heavy and you're struggling so hard to carry it." Hyoyeon laughed, her eyes doing the same and her lips once again curved into that subtle v-shape to expose her pearly whites. The dancing queen was too busy handling the package to see Jessica intently following her gaze before realizing what she herself was doing, breaking it and turning around to fetch another box, a shade of pink present on her face.
Left in confusion at Jessica’s lack of response, Hyoyeon just followed her former roommate with a forced smile. She could see Sooyoung emerging from entrance to her and Jessica’s room. She had her arms folded across her chest and while walking down the hallway, she eyed Hyoyeon in slight confusion before stopping in front of her and exhaling sharply. She raised an eyebrow before speaking.
“You’re just gonna let her walk out like this?” The taller girl said in a low tone so that no one could hear them.
“Umm... yeah?” Hyoyeon responded. She didn’t quite understand why there would be a problem with helping Jessica out or rather, she didn’t want to understand. Sooyoung pursed her lips to the side and scrunched her eyebrows together. She stared at Hyoyeon, searching her eyes for any vulnerabilities—anything that told her that the dancer was as uneasy about this moving out business as the rest of them were or if she knew about Jessica’s true intentions. After a while Sooyoung concluded,
“You’re seriously dense. You know that you’re the reason Sic—”
“Soo. Just stop okay? Stop filling my head with nonsense. If Sica wants to move out then its her choice alright?” Hyoyeon had enough of all this talk about feelings. It wasn’t possible and it certainly wasn’t acceptable, so why bother with it anymore? It was a meaningless feat to try and pry into a problem that held little substance.
“But its not her choice. Right now that's her only option. You have to talk to her--”
“Shut up. Just... shut up okay?” Hyoyeon said weakly and nudged Sooyoung to the side with minuscule force, just enough so that the taller girl would step out of the way. Once she stepped past her she spoke once more, “You’re as unsure about Sica as I am. Who are you tell me to talk to her.”
“Knowing someone for more than a decade makes you notice things about someone that even they don’t notice. Unsure? Isn’t the answer right in front of you? Or do you not want to accept the truth? Because I’ve already told you the truth—but really Hyo, you gathered the pieces together way before that didn’t you? Its you who doesn’t want to accept it.” Sooyoung turned around to face Hyoyeon who had suddenly frozen up like a statue and was letting her friend’s words permeate through her stubborn heart. The shikshin took hold of Hyoyeon’s hand and led her to the room she shared with Jessica.
“The room is half empty Hyo. If you let Sica move the last of her things out of the room, don’t be surprised if your future conversations consist of fifty percent yes’ and fifty percent no’s. Just sayin’.”
Sooyoung barely finished her sentence before Hyoyeon hastily placed a foot inside the room and made her way over to Jessica who was busy scavenging through her closet in search of any items of clothing she left behind. With a big grin on her face and with even more willing, helping hands, Hyoyeon picked up a box by the closet and in a cheery tone, inquired about where to carry the item to. She received one of the tiniest smiles from Jessica before the girl answered,
“The living room, where all the other boxes are.”
Sooyoung leaned on the doorpost of the entrance way and watched as Hyoyeon walked past her to the living room. Once the dancer was out of sight she turned to Jessica who had a far away look on her face, a hint of hurt present on her face.
“How long are the two of you going to keep this up?” Sooyoung thought to herself.
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“Unnie.”
Hyoyeon felt a warmth hovering above her and letting her body move on its own, she shuffled closer towards the source, eliciting a soft, raspy chuckle from the other person.
“Unnie... Hyoyeon unnie, wake up.”
The voice began to register into Hyoyeon’s senses. Half awake and half asleep, Hyoyeon felt a pair of small hands shake her gently from side to side.
“...Jesshika?”
“Unnie, what are you talking about. Jesshika unnie doesn’t live with us anymore remember? And even if she did I don’t think she would be waking you up.”
The dancer fluttered her eyelids open and rubbed the sleepiness away. She saw the sunlight surrounding the form in front of her and she hoisted herself up with one arm, inching herself closer to identify the shadowed face of the girl in front of her. She tilted her head and squinted her eyes.
“Seohyunnie...” Hyoyeon continued rubbing at her eyes after realizing who was in front of her. “Whoa. I fell asleep.” The dancer opened her eyes wide open and blinked hard a few times to try and wake herself up. She knew that if she let her sleepiness consume her now, she would sleep for the week.
“Unnie... where were you? I woke up and your bed was the same as it was yesterday.” Seohyun frowned, “...don’t tell me you didn’t sleep again?”
Hyoyeon let out a playful smirk that her choding self was known for and chuckled through her nose.
“Ah, unnie! You can’t keep doing that! This is the third time I caught you not sleeping!” Seohyun wrapped an arm around the older’s shoulders in concern. Hyoyeon, feeling sleepy began to relax in her hold and sunk into Seohyun’s embrace, her face landing into the crook of the younger’s neck.
Seohyun eyes widened for a moment and she felt all air leave her lungs at the sudden contact. She was still mad at the choding for not going to sleep, but she momentarily let her concern and anger slip and let a small grin crack through.
“Unnie, we have to get ready.” Seohyun said quietly, her arms still frozen and her cheeks red. “We have to wake everyone up or else we’ll all be late.”
Hyoyeon nuzzled her face deeper into Seohyun’s neck, “I don’t wanna.” She then lazily wrapped her arms around Seohyun’s waist. “Why did you wake me up. Waiting fifteen minutes would have been nice...”
Seohyun laughed and rubbed Hyoyeon’s arms, “You sound like Jesshika-unnie.”
Hyoyeon let go of her almost nonexistent hold on Seohyun and just stared at the younger. Something about what Seohyun said made her insides freeze over and mood sour. She pulled herself up and dropped the groggy smile she had on earlier.
“I’m gonna go cook breakfast. You wake up everyone.” Hyoyeon told the maknae coolly as she made her way over to the kitchen.
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Yoyeon-ahhh wae u no honest with yourself? D:
Anyways, comments are greatly appreciated!
Perfect for lazy authors such as myself lol.
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