The Color of Our Memories:

Chapter 5 - Its All for You

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The hallway was engulfed in thick darkness, the only source of light available for Hyoyeon to rely on being the faint traces of moonlight glow coming in from the kitchen and living room windows at the end of the path.

Her hands slid against the smooth walls of the hallway while her feet quietly crept forward towards her destination. Although she had gotten used to walking around in the dark it always made Hyoyeon feel uneasy.

Were there a pair of eyes following her? Was there a figure behind her waiting for the perfect opportunity to jump her? Was there something waiting for her at the end of the hallway?

There were faint sounds of what seemed to be sobbing coming from the living room which dissipated into the air throughout the dorm. The wood beneath the dancer’s feet began to creak and she could have sworn that the eerie sounds began to grow louder, if not closer.

“Please don’t be a demon lady, please don’t be a demon lady, please don’t be a demon lady.” Hyoyeon thought to herself.

Her square shoulders caved in uncomfortably and she pressed her eyelids shut, a shiver trailing down her spine. Before she knew it the speed in her steps increased and she found herself practically running towards the kitchen. The comforting words she had chanted to reassure herself that there was no phantom serial killer or ghost behind her had little affect. Hyoyeon tried to convince herself that the noises coming from the living room were just a figment of her imagination.

With great hesitation the usually outgoing Hyoyeon opened one eyelid before fluttering the other open fully. A breath of relief escaped her lips once she saw the full glow from the moonlight shining in through the windows of the kitchen. Pivoting on her heel Hyoyeon surveyed the rest of the living room area behind her and--

"OH MY GOD!" Hyoyeon jumped, her heart doing the same at the sight of Jessica who sat on top of the living room sofa and gazed out the windows in a trance-like state, visually lifeless. "Sica, what are you doing?!" Hyoyeon whispered to her harshly as to not wake up the rest of the members and put a hand over her chest. The pounding in the dancer’s chest ravaged, beating against her ribcage. Her nerves had begun to settle down and untangle themselves, transitioning to a much calmer condition from their frenzied state.

Jessica just looked at Hyoyeon with the same absent minded expression she had on most of the time, her lips parting. The moonlight traced an outline of her head while she looked at Hyoyeon. Her face was completely covered by shadow and in some way she was thankful for that.

That way Hyoyeon wouldn’t be able to see how wet and red her eyes were.

Hyoyeon walked towards the older girl and took a seat beside her. She rested her head on the back of the couch and looked up at Jessica who was still busy admiring the moon.

From this view the dancer could perfectly see what the ice princess was trying to hide. The wetness in her eyes made them sparkle because of the moonlight and brought attention to how swollen and red her orbs were.

Hyoyeon again connected the pieces, “Those sounds were probably from Sica... was she crying?”

"Why are you awake?" Jessica asked once she noticed Hyoyeon intently staring at her, possibly finding out what she wanted to hide. Her voice was raspy in quality and words caught in , but her attention never left the moon.

"Couldn't sleep. You?" Hyoyeon responded as she tried her best to relax on the couch.

Jessica shrugged, trying to seem normal. "Same.” She then cursorily glanced at Hyoyeon before resuming her look out the window.

There was a silence afterwards. None of the lights were on, the glow from the moon sufficient enough to provide light into the living room. The heater had stopped momentarily at its programmed time to conserve energy, causing their dorm to be a bit chillier than it should have been. Hyoyeon curled up in her spot, hugging her legs to her chest and shuffled a bit closer to Jessica. Hyoyeon’s body demanded that she find some way to provide extra heat and Jessica noticed that and wanted to do something about it, but she dare not move any closer to the choding nor touch her.

After the radio guesting, Jessica’s anger towards Hyoyeon had disappeared. She was far too tired--her heart had taken enough of a beating for her to expend any more energy on useless bantering. And so she remained like this; close but never too close, far but never too far. The boundary had been drawn over between them countless times to remind Jessica of what she needed to get rid of and of what was impossible. But its not like the younger girl’s presence had no effect on the ice princess anymore, far from that.

Just having Hyoyeon in front of her and staring at her the way she was still had the same affect on Jessica’s heart, no matter how wounded it was. It sped up like it usually did within her presence and stopped whenever their gazes locked.

Hyoyeon nuzzled her head onto the back of the seating, the need for sleep deciding to make a comeback. She gently gazed at Jessica and let the uneasiness she had felt with the girl previously, disappear into the cold of the night.

Hyoyeon yawned, a rush of air filling her lungs and stretching wide open to accommodate the sudden action. “I’m sorry...” She covered and soon after let out a small, lazy smile, “I don’t know why, but I feel like I did something wrong.”

She scratched the back of her neck in discomfort. Saying things like this was hard for Hyoyeon.

“Aish, chincha. You really made me lose a lot of sleep you know?” Hyoyeon laughed. Her eyelids were becoming heavier by the second, fluttering furiously to keep her awake.

Jessica’s eyes shifted to quickly exchange a hesitant look with Hyoyeon. She felt a tinge of happiness spark within her but then it quickly disappeared once she stopped herself from thinking of Hyoyeon’s words as anything more than what they were. They were words of concern, from one friend to another.

And then... it happened.

Something had caught Hyoyeon’s attention. Something so alerting that she sat up straight in full attention, the churning in her chest and stomach bolting her upwards. Her sleepiness vanished and she rushed over to Jessica, climbing over the seats and cupped Jessica’s face in her hands in a hurry.

“You’re crying again.” Hyoyeon said, her voice weak and barely above a whisper. Using her thumbs she wiped away at Jessica’s tears and leaned in closer, now less than a few inches apart from the girl.

Jessica retained the same aloof expression as if her facial muscles had frozen in place. The tears just spilt without warning and it was as if the rest of her face couldn’t keep up with the sudden outburst. Not even Hyoyeon’s touch and closeness could wake Jessica from the emotional daze she was in, and that worried Hyoyeon.

“I said don’t cry.” Hyoyeon knocked Jessica on the forehead lightly and squished her cheeks together to get her attention, to make her smile, laugh, look at her--anything--just as long as she wasn’t crying.

Jessica didn't laugh, but did the exact opposite of what Hyoyeon wanted her to. The tears rushed out even harder, but she didn't let out a single sob. She stayed the same: transparent and unreadable.

"Why are you so nice to me?" She huffed in a sigh while the salty fluids ran down her skin, her expression unchanging. There was no light in her eyes. The glossiness that coated over the surface of her orbs showed how vulnerable she was, but there was an emptiness present in her eyes--she looked like a robot and that somewhat scared Hyoyeon. Behind those tears Jessica’s lips curled into a wry smile, her eyelashes fluttering due too much build up in her eyes.

Hyoyeon paid no mind to answer Jessica’s question, fully knowing that the question itself was rhetorical. She patted the ice princess on the head worriedly and moved the hair that stuck to her wet cheeks. Under the luminescence of the moon, Hyoyeon could see the girl’s skin revel a rosy color that deepened once she took her face into her hands once more. Jessica was slowly coming back to reality.

The ice princess hiccuped, the air that was caught in vying to escape.

“Sica... did I... did I do something? If I did something wrong I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it--”

Hyoyeon paused. The small glare Jessica gave her as she reached out to grip onto her wrists tightly shut her up.

”Its because you’re you.” Jessica growled, lowering her head away from Hyoyeon’s view and furrowed her eyebrows as she clenched her teeth together. Jessica’s grip on the younger girl’s wrists tightened while she bit on her bottom lip. “And you certainly didn’t mean it.”

Hyoyeon looked at Jessica, confused.

“What does that mean?”

Before the choding could have the chance to even utter a word, Jessica loosened the grip on Hyoyeon’s wrists and in a languid motion, removed them from the sides of her head. She got up from her seat.

"Lets go to sleep." Jessica wiped away her tears with her pajama sleeves and grinned, sniffling. There was life again in her eyes and she tried her best to make it seem like nothing was wrong in the first place. “Just forget about me. Its nothing alright? I was just joking around.”

But behind that smile Hyoyeon knew she was hurting.

And behind that smile Hyoyeon knew she was lying.

And for some reason, she just couldn’t shake off that nagging feeling to find out why. Hyoyeon cared too much to just let it go. She cared too much about Jessica to just let her be.

She definitely was getting any sleep tonight.

***************

“YOU’RE MOVING OUT?!” Tiffany yelled out in surprise within the van. “Where are you gonna go?! Why are you only telling us this now?!” The black haired girl’s pitch raised considerably and her eyes looked like they would dart out of her sockets any minute.

“Do you have to yell so early in the morning? Chincha.” Jessica inserted a finger into her ear as her face squished up in contempt,exaggerating the affect of Tiffany’s raise in tone.

Taeyeon closed her previously open mouth and gulped, a ball of saliva rolling down her suddenly dry throat. In her state of shock, her words came out stuttered, “W-Why...? N-No way the company approved it. I-I-It would clash too much with our sched--”

“I asked manager oppa and he said he didn’t see why the company would say no.”

“But that doesn’t mean that the company would just say yes! Why would you even want to move out?!”

Jessica shrugged, “I don’t know. Just felt like it.”

“You just felt like it?” Tiffany’s eyelids narrowed to thin slits as she eyed her American friend in suspicion, “Don’t tell me you actually hate us and that’s why you’ve been on this whole emotional roller coaster ride and now you can’t stand us so you’re moving out?!”  Tiffany pouted. She couldn’t stomach the idea that they wouldn’t be together as nine if Jessica really did move out upon approval.

Jessica let out a small smile, her attention turning to the outside of the window, “I don’t hate you guys. What would make you think that?! Far from that.” the volume in Jessica’s voice quieted, “I love you guys too much...”

“Wow. That’s some weird reasoning you have there.” Taeyeon laid back in her seat and chuckled heartily. The initial shock she felt died down a little now that her doubts about Jessica’s wild idea getting approved by their company started to sprout.  

Tiffany sighed. ”After being together for so long it’ll be so weird not seeing you at the dorms... its like... like we’ll never see you...”

“Aw come on,” Jessica slapped Tiffany on the shoulder, “I would still see all of you.” Jessica gave Tiffany a smile in an attempt to lighten her mood about the whole idea. After giving her a quick pat on the head, Jessica leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.

“We’ll see each other less though! A lot less...”

“Exactly.” Jessica thought.
 

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Kind of short (well in comparison to my other chapters lol).

For the next few chapters I'll try to focus a bit more on Seohyun since 

she does have an important role to play.  I don't think Jessica is in the

position to be telling anything in her POV right now haha.

Comments are always welcome and are greatly appreciated!