…present…

Ren was sitting on the plane, looking outside the window and embracing the brightest white view of the clouds. He’s coming back to Seoul after 3 years. Everything is clear still, that nightmare he had when he needed to go away and leave Jr for good. That time he needed to decide and sacrifice one person for the sake of the majority. He never had a relationship after that, he even called his arrange marriage off. Now he graduated as business management with a short course of education back ground, he didn’t able to continue his previous line of study which is about clothing and designs. He wants to take care of the university they own because it has a lot of happy memories inside it. There where he met his first love and only one.

That moment when he shed his last tears in front of Jr and promised to not shed any tears anymore. Though he always want to cry, he able to be strong and hold back his cries all the time. Now he’s going back home and all the memories he had in Seoul are coming back to his mind. Though he’s not allowed to recall his past, he always do think of it because for him Jr is not his past, he is still his present and he still want him to be his future.

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~flash backs 3 years ago~

Ren was then prepared to go to school few days after he was taken back home. Chanyeol, his brother didn’t let him go, instead, he landed a passport and the ticket on the bed and left without any words other than prepare his luggage.

“I’m not going anywhere..ren cried while staring to his brother with those pleading eyes full of tears. Glancing at the folded paper on his bed, his heart pounded hard and felt his whole body become numb.

“you will study there.. And live there for a while..chanyeol said finally..

“hyung,,don’t do this to me…please….ren begged…

“you can choose, you will take the flight or I will expelled all your friends from the school and they won’t be accepted in any universities anymore….chanyeol threatened..

“hyung, they don’t have anything to do with this…I want to stay….I promise I will do everything you want, I won’t meet him again just let me stay here..

“I’ve decided already. Everything is already set..you have one day to finish everything with Jr…I will take you to him and be sure to end your relationship to him, I don’t want you to be hurt but his father already told me that jr will be marrying his fiance soon..I tried to talk to him but he’s really against on your relationship with his son, so just accept it….

“what?,,ren’s eyes grew wide…

“look minki,,I’m doing this to protect you,,you have to accept it, chanyeol said and cupped his brother’s wet face due to the tears.

“no!! this can’t be happening,,Jr told me he will not get marry her…

“minki,, even if I acknowledge your relationship with him, his parents will still reject it..so it’s my final decision, you will fly to London to stay and study there…said the older and left. Do what I say or I will really make sure that your friends will not able to go to any universities, do you understand?..I need to take actions before Mr. Kim will do something. He’s one of the PTA officer so even if I will not expel all your friends, he has the right to complain. You have to help me too, you need to understand me, the school is important to me, any obnoxious act or protest will lead to a bad reputation of the school.

He fell on his knees crying and sobbing non-stop. Why is everything turn to be so complicated and why it needed to reach this point. On the next day while he was still crying and hugging his knees, his brother came to fetch him.

“hyung..I will end up everything but I have my condition too…ren spoke..

Chanyeol didn’t response and he just gave a what-is-it look to the younger.

“I’m not going to marry anyone and after I graduated, I’ll be free to come back here….

Chanyeol went to his brother who still in bed and kiss the forehead and gave him a tight hug.

…….

On the other hand, Jr received the news that he’s going to get marry soon, he walked back and forth in his room and doesn’t know what to do. He haven’t talk to his lover since the day they were parted, he only gets information about how well ren is from V through baekhyun.

As what it seems to be a plan. Ren came to the house with his brother. Mr. Kyu seems to know it and he just sat on the small sofa.

Jin who was with V that time, both in the living room was surprised from the sudden appearance of Ren and the brother. He run to Jr’s room and immediately informed the brother.

“ren what are you doing here? Jr asked after running from his room towards the living room…

“we need to talk..ren in his husky voice said with a controlled emotion.

"what is this all about?! he shouted..abeoji!! he turn to his father...

“where is your room? Ren asked… and bowed to the head of the family but didn‘t received any response.

Chanyeol looked at his brother, he felt pity on him on how other people ignore him. Ren used to have all the attentions so whenever he sees his brother ignored by someone, he felt ache.

Jr pointed the direction to his room. Still can’t talk, he was just staring at his lover who obviously just shed a drum of tears, with that husky tone, forced smile and swollen eyes.

“minki,,,chanyeol called.

“don’t worry hyung, I’ll do what we agreed for…ren assured..

Jr led him on his bedroom, puzzled but he felt something strange since his parents didn’t do anything to stop them. They both entered the room. Ren hesitantly and nervously faced the lover and had to pretend and force every smile he formed.

“what is happening? Ren I missed you so much,,,,Jr hugged him from the back and interlocked his both hands to his lover’s tummy as he whispered and nuzzled the sweet scent of his lover..

“this is the last time we're going to see each other…let’s break up,,,,ren started…

Jr felt the sudden ache stricken on the deepest part of his heart. He felt weak while his fingers were unlocked by ren and arms fell on his side and totally parted from his lovers back when the other stepped forward.

“what? Don’t kid on me ren,,,,Jr shook his head and turn him to meet his eyes.

“I didn’t know that it is really hard. We kept it for a long time, I gave up,,I can’t do it anymore,,,I’m tired already..you always promised me but nothing had been granted, just move on jr,,and I will move on too…

“look,,we’re having a hard time but I’m sure soon they will understand us..jr felt panic already… afraid for every next words of his lover…

“I’m sorry,,ren apologize, sign that it is real…I’m leaving tomorrow, I decided already,,I don’t have my future in you. I hate it when we keep it, I want a free relationship…excuse me..

“you cant leave..we promised to stay together until the end!….jr shouted..

“it’s already the end of everything!,,and I’m finishing it already!,, don’t you hear me?! We are hopeless Jr!…Ren shouted back..

“please,,don’t leave huh? Give me more time, I will settle everything..Jr pleaded and kissed him on the lips..

“no! stop it jr,,,,ren pushed the boy.

Ren was taken aback when he saw his lover almost trip backward when he pushed him.

“no…no….Jr murmured. His world became dark, slowly, he can’t imagine his life without him.

“don’t find me anymore, I hope when we meet again, you moved on already..please do,,goodbye…ren uttered and left the room, he left his lover stunned. His tear fell but he didn’t look at his lover again.

“ren!!!! Jr scream from inside. Everyone in the living room heard that scream.

“we’re leaving sir..please take care of jr…don’t rush everything, give him some time to move on, don‘t worry,,I’m not going to show myself anymore…ren bowed to the head of the family and hugged his brother..

“thank you,,Mr Kyu uttered in a low volume without looking at them..

“hyung let’s go…ren whispered to his brother and they both exited the house.

…….

Jin rushed to Jr’s room when he heard ren’s words to his father. While V run to catch chanyeol and ren.

“what happen? Why did ren said that? Jin asked. Cupping his brother’s face. Wiping off the tears and trying to calm him from crying.

“hyung,,I can’t go on without him….jr continued to cry..

“what are you talking about?

“he broke up with me,,he’s leaving, he told me that he can’t do it anymore, he can’t wait anymore, that he hate our relationship…

“he told you that? But I saw him crying there too…look, I’m sure that’s not what he meant.. Maybe something is wrong, I mean, ren loves you, we all know that, you know that jr..you can feel if he’s lying or not..

“I know.. I need to stop him,,we need to talk again…

“I’ll do whatever I can do…I’ll ask V if he can get information from his brother..

“he’s leaving tomorrow,,we don’t have enough time…

“wait here and I’ll talk to V..jin said and race outside..

At the same moment. V able to catch the two. Ren is still crying but he able to smile at him.

“what is that all about?,,V asked…

“I broke up with him, we can’t go on like this,, we are hopeless already…ren muttered…

“I thought you will fight for it just like how I and jin fought for ours…

“we are not that strong, I’m not that strong, I have my weakness too. You and jin are just lucky because your parents are friends with Mr. Kyu…

“but…V tried to talk again..

“in the end you will be thankful for what ren had done..chanyeol spoke and cut the boy..

“look after jr for me..help him to move on and forget about me..ren last words and left.

“there’s something wrong…jin came behind him and talked..

“ohm…how’s jr…V jumped and asked..

“he’s crying..jin replied while they were looking at the two who was entering in the car.

“in the end you will be thankful for what ren had done..that’s what Mr. Park said.. You’re right, something is wrong…

……..

Taehyung decided to meet his brother before everything gets too late. He met him on a coffee house the same day.

“hyung!! Tae called and wave happily….

“why did you call me? I’m busy…baekhyun said and sited..

“hyung,,I want to know everything,,I’m hoping for your help…tae uttered…

“what is it? The older asked.

“hyung,,I need the complete detail of ren’s flight for tomorrow…

“V, if you called me because of that, I can’t give you…

“hyung please,,we’re suspecting that everything is wrong….ren broke up with jr all of a sudden…

“then don’t get involve, this has nothing to do with you..the older said..

“please?,,,V pouted..

“no…how can I betray chanyeol…

“then you’re going to keep a secret to your brother so you can’t betray your boyfriend?

“V..whatever ren had done it’s for the sake of all…so just shut your mouth and DON”T GET INVOLVE…

“for the sake of all? Who?

“look, ren is leaving to make it easier for everybody to move on and for Jr too…

“hyung…do you think jr will move on? No..he loves ren that much you know that….I need the details for ren’s flight…

“haiiisssttt…I said don’t involve yourself to this…why are you not listening?

“please, just the flight…

“okay,, the truth is,, I don’t know about that flight,,,all I know is that ren will leave the country to save everyone,,all of you will get expelled from the university and will never get an entrance to any universities inside the country..so ren need to choose, leave the country or all of you will leave the university…baekhyun announced..

“his brother threatened him like that?..

“not just him… chanyeol is willing to accept jr but Jr’s father can’t so he had an agreement to chanyeol, whatever agreement is that, I don’t have any idea anymore…

“the flight…

“I said I don’t know…I know ren will leave but I don’t know when….

“it’s tomorrow hyung…

“that fast? I haven’t talk to chanyeol about it,,,,if tomorrow then I think it’s the morning flight,,maybe it’s London flight because I called the housekeeper in London few days ago..other than that I can’t provide you any information…

“thank you hyung…we’ll meet again next time…ahhh pay the coffee,,I need to leave now….V said and left after sipping all his coffee.

V informed his boyfriend about what he had talked with his brother and jin quickly told his brother and made a plan with him.

The next day as what they planned. 5 in the morning before everyone in the house will wake up. Jin and Jr went for a jogging, the guard didn’t suspect anything since the two were just wearing sweater and jogging pants.

Few blocks away jr rode a taxi and proceeded to airport, it wasn’t that long commute and he reach the airport, he search everywhere but when he asked the information booth about a flight going to London, like a rock that falls into his head, instead of stars above his head, his surrounding seems darken. He was shocked for few seconds before he came back to his senses.

“the first flight to London is five this morning, it was already departed..but there’s another flight this afternoon at three this afternoon.,,the lady said..

“may I know if there’s a name choi minki on the first flight? He asked..

It took less than a minute and he heard a Yes answer from the girl. He almost cried when he confirmed it with his own eyes and saw the name choi minki in the list. He left the airport pass seven and stayed outside, spacing out and blank.

Nevertheless, minki woke up late. He supposedly getting the flight by five in the morning, but since he felt unwell that night, he had to take a complete 8 hours sleep to regain his strength. He didn’t able to get enough sleep so he was advice by their home nurse to rest for a bit before the flight, and he was given a shot to fall asleep.

It was 8 am when chanyeol changed their flight to the next flight that was three in the afternoon.

Ren step foot to airport with his brother accompanying him. He looked around, wishing to see Jr running to him and telling him that everything is okay already but on the contrary, everything is not alright and Jr was locked at home.

Chanyeol hugged his brother, for the first time, he let him live alone and it’s far from his sight. He was worried of course but he has to do it.

He flew to London at three and totally left the country without any other words to his boyfriend.

Jr walked blankly as if he doesn’t know where to go, no specific direction and just follow the straight lane. He stared on the road filled with fast vehicles passing by. He laughed a little.

“I’m going crazy ren..he mumbled while laughing..

He was about to step once more while looking at the car coming but he was stopped and laughed with frustrations.

“no,,you will come back!,,you will!,,I’ll wait ren! Because I love you and I know you love me too!!! You are just lying right!! You don‘t hate it!!…he screamed.

People around were looking but he didn’t mind. He run miles until he felt exhausted.

At home…

“where did he go! Jin’s father shouted..

“I don’t know,,abeoji,,,let him go for once..jin talked back..

“do you know what are you talking about? You can’t understand me…just look for him now! Father shouted and commanded.

“no need,,I’m home,,,Jr spoke from the door with his drunken tone and almost falling on the floor..

“jr..jin run to his brother..you’re drunk? He asked..

“just a little..because,,because,,becau~~~~se, ren left me…it’s abeoji’s fault..abeo~~ji,,you are so unf~~air..jr uttered while laughing with tears..

“take him to his room..father said..

Jin took his drunk brother in his room. Jr already passed out and fell asleep as soon as he was put on bed.

…..

Ren’s life alone felt empty, he often cried for jr, he was always notice by his classmates and new friends spacing out. Oftentimes, he choose to be alone. Day by day, there were no times that he didn’t remember and misses his boyfriend but he had to endure it. Weeks and months until years had passed, there are girls trying to seduce him but he always reject them.

“hi ren,,want to go out for a coffee? That’s the way girls approach him..

“sorry, I have my boyfriend…that’s the way he answered every time.

He met new friends, but only chosen became closer to him.

“hey! You’re spacing out again,,hanbyul tap him on the back to waken him up from his day dream.

He met hanbyul in one of his vacation before, the time when his relationship with jr was leaked and his brother took him in a vacation, there he met him.

“what are you doing here? No gigs? He asked with crumpled brows..

“we have later,,just checking you out here, want to see you, why? Don’t you miss me? Hanbyul asked. It was just few months ago when he and his band had a contract in London, a contract of one year.

By fate or coincidence, ren was really upset and decided to go clubbing with his new friends and there he met the guy singing on the stage. He was crazily drunk then and few clubbers are taking an advantage to him. Hanbyul became a savior and took the boy away from the crowd. Starting that day, they became closer like friends.

“don’t treat me like a kid checking me all the time…ren said with a sad tone…

“you missed him again? Hanbyul tilted his head and made a dorky face..

“tsskkk,, you know me well huh? Ren chuckled and pinch the older’s nose..

“here,,I saw a Korean stuff in the market and bought you this..hanbyul said holding out the plastic..

“thanks…how many months left before you go back to Korea? Ren pouted after asking..

“half a year…do you want to go back there with me? The older questioned..

“I can’t…ren replied and stood up..

Ren always felt sad, people around him keeps on coming and then go. Hanbyul is the only person he had talk to about everything. Though the older sometimes gives a hint about what he feels for him, ren always ignore it and always tells the older how thankful he was that he met him and always remind him that Jr is not yet forgotten and he is still hoping for the future. Hanbyul decided to be just friend with him and didn’t pursue his feelings for him. And they became close friends, hanbyul sometimes act like a boyfriend when needed and act like a brother to him whenever he whined for something.

“one year..he mumbled,..while staring at his phone calendar. It was the date when he abandoned his lover in seoul. The day that makes him upset and sad..

…….

Jr focused on his study, he wants to be good in everything and succeed for his dreams, he continued to study at Ggeum University with others, their life goes on without ren, they sometimes attempt to ask Mr. Park especially minhyun and baekho, but there’s only one answer they get, ren is fine, he’s doing well.

Jin often talk to baekhyun to get information, baek gave them assurance that ren is well but other than that, there’s no other news.

As the day passes without ren, Jr felt the eagerness to pursue everything, he was preparing for the coming back of ren, when was it? No one knows aside from ren’s brother. Even baekhyun has no idea when ren is coming.

He continued to race cars even if he had an accident before, he kept himself busy to avoid any depression while waiting for his lover. A suicide attempt came to his thought but didn’t able to do.

He often drop by at the airport to check flights and the name choi minki, the lady in the information already used to his presence. Because of his eagerness and working hard to know when will the name choi minki appear in any of their list, they were updating him diligently.

“hi hyung? He greeted as soon as he entered without a knock on his brother’s office. Jin already graduated the last year so he started to get the position formally and permanently in the company. He became the vice president of KKJ Ent while jr and V still have one year for their courses.

“why did you come? Your fiance is with father, in his office…jin told..

“really..haiiissstt…I should go now…I just dropped by.. Jr said and sigh..

“I know that sigh for..you went to the airport again? Jin laughed…

“owh come on don’t laugh at me…I must go before that could catch me..

“I’m sure ren will be glad and feel overwhelm from your effort…jin shook his head..

“he must be happy,,jr laughed and opened the door to go.

Unluckily, he was stopped when his fiance is already on the door standing and ready to knock.

“oooppsss,,,you sense it? The girl sarcastically joked..

“owh yeah right,,,I sense there’s an evil wanting to possess me, and I think I was right..jr bit his lip and tease the girl by touching the lips with his index finger..

“yahhh!!! The girl shouted, pissed…

“I’m going hyung…see you at home,,,I can’t wait to tell you something about ren,,jr shouted telling his brother and shove the girl lightly on the side..

“okaay!!! Jin shouted back..he laughed because he knows to whom that lies for and he’s not wrong, he saw the girl almost lose her balance when jr passed by her.

The girl stomp her feet and left with annoyance written all over her face. The girl keeps on pursuing Jr, hoping to get his attention since ren is not around but it became more harder than before. Jr always mock her, always pissed her off, and even ignore her even if they were on a family date. He talks about ren whenever they are alone.

Jr also bothered since the date of their wedding was scheduled and planned already, in a year, they will conduct the wedding ceremony for them and it is after he get the position in the company.

……..

Baekhyun became the vice president in the company. As what chanyeol and his mom planned for him. He took it since chanyeol and mom gave it to him. He had a good relationship with chanyeol after the incident, chanyeol became an open boyfriend to him. They both can express their feelings now not unlike their previous relationship.

“why don’t you visit ren there? When will he coming back here? It’s his last year of school this year right? Baekhyun asked while he was resting on his man’s chest..

“no..I can’t show myself to him..he can come back whenever he wants to but he said he’s not coming back until he graduated. Chanyeol replied while his lover’s ..

“don’t endure your pain chan,,I know it hurts you being away from him and it keeps you worrying much…

“I’m fine,,it’ll be fine…we talk most of the time, he said he’s fine with his new friends…

“you’ve changed..you’re not that cold hearted man I met before..baek said, lifting his head and look up to him..

“why? You don’t like it? I’m still a cold person,, you’re just an exception..chan said..

“I love you,,,baek uttered..

Chanyeol paused, both of them just look in the eyes. Baek put his head to the man’s chest again when he didn’t received a response.

“is it really hard for you to say that? Baek asked..

“I love you too…chanyeol said after pulling him up to him. He kissed him on the lips… It’s not hard I just want to see your expression…he added and kissed him once again.

Baekhyun smiled and somehow felt satisfied for the man’s reason.

……..

“you always forget..V confronted as soon as he opened the door of his boyfriend’s office..

They both became the bridge, helping jr to get information about ren. V always pester his brother to give some information but it was the same, he never gets any information.

“I’m sorry,,I’m sorting out the new songs for the new album….Jin panic and quickly cleaned his table when he met his boyfriend‘s tiger look..

“aigoo, I’m going, V said childishly sulking..

Jin rushed and filed all the papers and followed behind his boyfriend. He put his arm on the waist and pressed him with him.

“no news about ren, baekhyun hyung really don’t have any idea…V told..

“It’s already two years yet no news about him…but jr is not giving up yet..he’s still hoping for him to come back..

“let’s just wait another year..v mumbled…

“hey!!! We’re going to eat outside,,want to come? Rapmon came and invites..interrupting the two’s conversation.

“no!! we have a date today,,,V answered before jin could give an answer..

“eo,,I see..then I’m going,,rapmon said hesitantly and scratch his head while leaving.

“you are already a man with position and he’s still treating you like their trainer ,,V said.

“aigoo, jealous again,,let’s just go to your house,,uncles are not home yet right? Jin suggested and winked..

“aigoo,,hyun joong appa didn’t go to work so your plans will not work today..

“ahh really,,I thought we can be alone,, you know,,,,jin bit his lower lip and squeeze the waist lightly..

V smiled and look at his lover,

~flashback ends~

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…present….

“REN..Jr’s word every time he looked at the sky. Remembering all those words uttered by his ex-lover that time makes his heart broken. He knows for sure that there’s something behind it. Ren will never tell me that. Ren will never leave me just like that. Ren will never say words that he knows it will hurt me. Those things he mumbled every single day to convince himself that Ren still loves him.

He was sitting on the car when he suddenly recalled those times. Three years were not just number of days, or just number of every minute he counts everyday. Because all those years, his love never fades, and he never moved on, he still waits for him, and he never lose hope to see him again. Hoping that one day, they will meet and both still have the same feeling for each other and both will ready to fight for their love.

This day is the day of his graduation remark, walk to the stage to get his diploma. His first goal succeeded, his next goal is to earn his own money and then find ren wherever he was.

As the ceremony goes on, sitting on his spot while waiting for his name to be called, someone just caught his attention. He suddenly stood up and already planning to confirm it when his name was called. He look up to the stage and saw Mr. Park holding the diploma he’ll be receiving. He went up to stage and bowed to Mr. Park after he received the envelope. And went down. He rushed to where he saw someone but no one is there anymore.

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