Victoria looked at him with wide eyes as he pulled away from her embrace. Nichkhun roughtly scrubbed his hands over his face, sighing.

"No ... I can't ..." Nichkhun looked at her with a sorrowful face. "I'm sorry, Tori ... I just ... can't."

Totia felt tears stinging at the coner of her large, brown eyes. "Wh-why? Did I do s-something w-wrong? Am I not g-good enough?"

Nichkhun shook his head faintly. "It's not you, Tori. You are perfect. I -" - NIchkhun stopped sharply. He was about to say, "I still love you". But ... but what stopped him?

A voice, in his head. Loud, harsh, rough. "No, Nichkhun. You do NOT love that girl. You do not care about her. You are the factory's manager. You have no feelings."

And it was partly true. That was what hurt him. He had no feelings for several years, all except sadness, longing. Then, even then, they vansihed. And Nichkhun had become so used to his mask, it slowly ... stopped being his mask.

It was becoming himself.

He wasn't the old Nichkhun any more.

He was the emotionless, cruel boss of the waste factory.

He wasn't the Nichkhun that Victoria loved. 

In the end, his father had still won. 

Nichkhun gazed at Victoria's desperate face. His heart tugged, and he wanted to cry himself, to lie on the ground, and unleash the floods of tears that were, still now, threatening to burst out at any minute. He just wanted to be himself again. He gulped, swallowing his tears. "It's not you, Tori," he repeated...

... "I-it's me."

VIctoria looked at the young man in front of her, and she looked hard at him. Through the layers of his mind, his formality, his voice, his deeds ...

she still saw him as what he used to be, but somehow, it was worse. There was another side to him.

A broken, vunerable, young boy, threatened by his father, controlled, forced.

VIctoria stepped forwards, and placed one of her hands on his chest, above his heart.

"It's not you," she said simply. "I know that you are in there somewhere. Come back, Nichkhun."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tiffany lay sleeping on the sun-warmed rock, while Taecyeon paced  up and down the sandy strip, trying to think properly.

He stopped, and stared out of the horizon. He sighed. 

"Nichkhun, if you somehow - I mean - survuved, please, somehow let us know. We need you ..." Taecyeon thought of his life-long friend, Nichkhun. He knew he was strong-willed. Determined to accomplish what he had started, even at the point of failure. He hated half-hearted attitude, and in the days before Victoria had disappeared, he was always scolding Taecyeon for not trying hard enough, for wasting his time, etc, etc. Now Taecyeon would do anything to have the old Nichkhun back again. He would even, for once, try "hard enough" for Nichkhun. He would take all the nagging. He would do anything, just to make sure that his best friend was safe, unharmed, alive.

Without knowing, a tear escaped his eye as he gazed out at the slowly darkening night, at the sunset, the rings of soft orange and red on the sea of dark blue water.

"He's gone through enough, he needs a chance, don't end it there for him ... please ..." he didn't even know who he was supposed to be talking to. To anyone out there. To anyone alive. To God. 

To help his friend. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nichkhun backed away from Victoria. "No."

She stopped.

"I'm not the person I w-was, Tori. I will never be. It is hopeless. It will never be the same for you, I just don't want you to get hurt. Just leave and forget about me. Go back. My father is not there any more, there will be nothing to hurt you.
You think that I'm still in here somehwere. Maybe, I was for the first few months. B-but ... I tried to fight, and ... and ..."

Nichkhun turned away, forcing down his tears. THe memories tried to come rushing,, back, but he was ready. He pullled up his walls, and the memories fell away. Nothing could touch him without him wanting them to. Nothing. He was untouchable. 

"It doesn't matter. I'm not the person you used to know. I've changed. Nothing can change me back. Y-you ... don't know what I've done."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

heya. author here. sorry for the short update, im trying as hard as i can to make my updates longer but then i seem to babbly on and on and on. hmph ...
anywasy thank you for subscribing, and ... er ... have a good day!!
love from
meemow123
<3 khuntoria 2pm taeckhun taecyoon (and a billion others ...)