My Diary,Topic 7

Weather:Bright

Date:about 2 years after Hyun Joong left the orphanage.

Dear Diary,

I can't believe that I have lived here for 4 years already.And still nobody wants me.But thats actually a good thing,God really blessed us...KyuJong Oppa,his gang, HyoYeon,and my favourite dongsaeng HyungJun didn't get adopted too.4 years has passed,maybe it just meant that we best friends are meant together hehehe...ooops...yea,except for HyunJoong...he said he would be back.2 years had passed and I didn't even see his shadow.I opened my eyes as big as possible everytime I get to go out of the orphanage,sometimes even slipped out at night to the park,not forgetting the dream.But all was to no avail...

Yes,I missed him.Sometimes I couldn't even sleepo because I was thinking of him.And to me,someone who breaks a promise isn't a good person.I just can't believe my best friend who understands me the best broke his promise.I do miss him,but I totally hate him,hate him for breaking such an important promise and not knowing how much it hurts.As days passed by,everyday not meeting him is a sort of torture to me.Days become weeks and weeks become months,month become years.I have waited so long for him and still,he didn't come.I still wouldn't blame him though.My thoughts were all "maybe its his new family,maybe its his grandfather,maybe its not him,maybe he had no choice..."...

But these thought soon became "Did he really think I was joking?Was I really his best friend?"...Although I'm already exhasted by waiting for him to come back,I was still biting on some hope to see him.Hopes like "When I grow up,should I look for rich companies to work in?then HynJoong could be the rich young master therw?" and so on...All tese hopes were just stupid and excuses so I will not hate him too much,But I just wanted to meet him.Even if its jst for once...I missed him so much,I could cry...

It was just a normal day again,all of us playing at the park.I am considered a big sister to the rest of the children now,since we were almost the oldest batch.At the age of almost 8,I already have the responsibility to lead the children out to the park to play with KyuJong and Hyoyeon every day.Us three were like the monitor and monitress while the other older ones had their own job too.Everyday I would play with the younger ones and if someone gets injred,they will always be comforted with HyungJun's "Don't cry,Don't cry..." At times like this,I always thought about HyunJoong,how he comforted me,how was his bear still in my room and so on and so forth.All in all,I would miss him dearly when someone reminds me of him.Although I acted like I had forgotten about him long ago,but i know the fact that at one small corner of my mind,I miss him,I think of him.

Back to this normal day.It was still a normal day until something happened.I did not play today as I injured my leg so I just sit and watch them play on a bench.Thats where I started to think and reminicse the days when HyunJoong was still around.Even by looking at my injury,I can remember him beside me when I hurt his leg with the glass the last time,when he was telling me "Don't cry Don't cry..." then all my melancholy feelings suddenly gushed over me.I had a bad fight with my feelings but I lost.I started crying.It started with just tears and me holding it in but however,the tears didn't listen.I finally burst out and cried hysterically.I an't stop,no one could stop.Little Hyung Jun's "Don't cry Don't cry" didn't make me feel any better.I only cried harder when he said that.All these feelings I have been holding in for 2 years came out,finally.

It was still all normal till here,even though I cried,which is a little bit abnormal,but what makes the day even more special was...

HyungJun handed me his hankerchief which he always brought with him.I used it to stop my unstoppable tears,hoping that it wold help a little.As I wiped my tears,from the corner of my eyes,I saw a very familiar silhoette of someone...I just can't remember this someone at that point of time.Then it strucked my mind.But No...,no... he wouldn't be here,he shouldn't be here...I must be imagining thing.This is not possible at all...But it immediately became a fact...when he talked with that familiar voice.I heard him.The one I missed most,I saw him!I was so happy I got to see him again!But as soon as I heard that unforgettable voice talked,my heart fell and sank into the deep sea of feelings which came from nowhere...

"Grandpa,why is that girl crying?"

"How would I know"

"She's quite familiar...is she my friend?"

"No,I don't think so HyunJoong.Lets go,don't looks at her.Its bad luck u saw somebody crying when you just came back from America,on a day that you should be happy."

"Yes Grandpa,I won't look...its bad luck so I won't.hehehe"

Is that really him?Yes,it is...but...but...Why?WHy can't he even recognise me when I'm his best friend?I've been thinking about him for almost every second and now he says I look familiar?even ask if I was his friend?Ohh,so to him I'm just a "that girl" like how he said,or worst still I'm the "bad luck" then...And,his Grandpa who looked so scary,I didn't like him at the first sight at all,but now I dislike him even more.So he follows his new Grandpa and calls me "bad luck".Sure,Bt I'm gonna let him know who am I and who were we first.I held my burning anger and ran towards him while the rest just watched.

"Hey!" I called out,trying my best to hide my tears still...

"Sorry girl,we don't know you..." the Grandpa answered while HyunJoong just looked at me blankly,with that pair of big eyes.

Yup,it brought back to me memories again but I was already exploding when he said

"You look so familiar,do I know you?"

"Don't talk HyunJoong,remember what I told you."

The grandpa walked passed holding HyunJoong's hand,dragging him while he looked behind,at me.

I broke down into tears again,not wanting to think or do anything.Just crying will do.How...How could he forget me?How could he break his promise?He really took the whole thing as a joke?What a jerk...He doesn't know how much he had hurt me.I don't like him.I hate him.

Pathetic ain't I?Even I pity myself,yet none else gave sympathy.They did not know whatever.Not even KyuJong.

Love,

Your Pathetic Friend.

HI GUYS!!IM SO SORRY FOR A LATE UPDATE!!!Its been so long and I missed you all...lots of school work cropped up ,its harder this year...but dont worry,I will still update a regularly as possible...Im so sorry,forgive me kay...oh yea,and THX for all the support.Remb to SUBSCRIBE and COMMENT!Honest opinions and advices are most welcomed!THX!