Taeyeon drove quietly.

Eerily so.

The silence allowed Jessica to recall her seemingly most embarrassing moment a few minutes ago. She wanted to outwardly cringe. The thought of propositioning and consequently being turned down by the younger girl and to be told they ought to have coffee made her pray for earth to open up and swallow her completely.

She felt like a child. Fidgeting and nervously playing with the hem of her blouse, Jessica kept stealing glances at Taeyeon, whose stoic expression reminded the brunette of her late mother when she rebuked the younger es.

Jessica grimaced after realizing she just compared the young artist to her late mother.

Good strategy to really lose all desire to seduce the young artist, though. Setting aside all other thoughts, Jessica decided to break the ice.

"Taeyeon?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are we going?"

"This… this coffee shop. It's my favorite."

The drove further away from the Strip and passed through UNLV—a place Taeyeon briefly mentioned she frequented when she was a lot younger because her sister used to drag her everywhere. They stopped at a local coffee establishment—Sunrise Café. The area was simply new to Jessica because this obviously wasn't her clientele's destination. She suddenly realized how detached she was to a county she had called home over the last three years.

The first thing she noticed inside the café housed framed artworks found all over the establishment's wall. Taeyeon took her hand and let them to a nook near a huge book cabinet. The brunette couldn't help but smile. If Taeyeon was a coffee shop, this place would exactly be her.

"So, where's yours?" Jessica asked softly as soon as Taeyeon returned with two Nutella Frappucinos.

The blonde girl raised an eyebrow. "How did you—"

"I just know…" Jessica shrugged timidly.

Taeyeon pointed to an abstract painting that acted as a centerpiece to several other similar-themed works. "I was eleven. Taeri unnie loved this place." she smiled with a tinge of sadness in her voice. "She knew everyone. The owner in particular was very kind to her. She would bring me here and she'd study for her classes, while I just… yeah, that's the result." the artist said with a nod towards the wall's direction. "She was never the party girl. Give her a good cup of coffee and a book, and she was lost in her world right away."

"Kind of like you with a canvass and paint."

"In a way. But I was a lot more open than her—I know that's a little hard to believe, but yeah. She always… wore a mask. Showed everyone she was happy. She was genuinely nice to people, but even when I was a kid, I knew she was always sad. I saw it when everyone else failed to."

"Did… did something happen before?"

"I don't—I don't remember anything." Taeyeon said while shaking her head several times. "I always claimed that it was just my mom who couldn't let go. But I spent years, looking at her stuff inside her room…everything, just to look for a clue why she decided to kill herself. I found nothing." Taeyeon took a sip, pursed her lips quirked her eyebrows upwards. "She didn't keep a diary. At least I didn't find one. Who does that? Everyone should leave a mark in this world, you know?"

Jessica tilted her head and gave Taeyeon a guilty smile.

"Why would you want that?"

"I don't…I don't think anything about me is remarkable and worth knowing or remembering."

"Everything about you is worth all that," Taeyeon said in a hushed and heartbreaking tone. "Same with Taeri unnie."

Jessica was lost for words. All of her crabbiness caused by Taeyeon's rejection was immediately pushed back and her desire to comfort the young artist came out. She reached out for younger girl's hand and held it tightly.

"I should have said something." the artist sighed.

"You're… blaming yourself?"

"No… no, I'm not. I don't think I was the one who drove her to do it, you know? But… I was the one with her. I lived with her. Mom and Dad… they wouldn't have known. There was no way. But me… I knew. I slowly watched her withdraw from life. In a way, I slowly watched her die. And I didn't do anything."

"Taeyeon, you were so young. You're thinking about this in retrospect. But the child version of you wouldn't have known."

The artist gazed into Jessica's eyes and nodded. "Do you really believe that?"

"I do. I don't think our younger selves would have been able to process and verbalize what we innately felt as something wrong. I knew…when I think about it these days, I knew the real," Jessica cautiously glanced at Taeyeon, "the real Lindsay Price was going to hurt herself. I keep thinking—and it still haunts me to this day—that if I had just said something, or stayed with her…kept her company all night…maybe she wouldn't have killed herself."

"She—she also…"

The caught her lower lip between her teeth.

"She was in my mother's brothel. She was… about your age now. Someone hurt her really bad and I took some food to her. I guess she reached her tipping point."

"Why take her name?"

"Because…" Jessica smiled wistfully, "because I promised her I would get out of that place and make something for myself. I wanted her to be part of it." Shrugging her shoulders, she chuckled dryly, "I'm not exactly a vast improvement of what she was, but it is better."

Taeyeon looked away and twisted her lips in disdain. "I'm so sorry for—for saying all those horrible things. I—"

"Taeyeon, it's not you—"

"No, please," the artist shifted in her seat and faced Jessica fully. "Just… let me say this."

The let out a shaky breath and gripped Taeyeon's hand tighter. "Okay."

"I know I made you feel so small. I'm really, really sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I have no excuse. I never wanted you to feel—I guess what I just really want to say is, I respect you, Jessica."

The brunette looked down and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. "You know… that's the first time someone has ever uttered that word in relation to me."

"Small?"

Jessica guffawed despite her emotional state. "I think that's one word that's always associated with me."

"I know," Taeyeon smiled. "That's why I wondered."

"I meant respect," the older woman stated. "Respect," she repeated. "No one's ever said they respect me."

"I just did."

"I know," Jessica looked up and smiled. "Thank you."

"I really mean it."

"I don't question your integrity, Taeyeon. I never did."

"Jessica," the artist breathed out. "I can't do this anymore."

The brunette instantly felt a cold shiver run down her spine. "What—what do you mean?"

"This. I can't keep paying to be with an . I don't want her. I never did. I want you."

"I offered for us to—"

"I don't want that. I don't want to have with Lindsay. If you were just you, you wouldn't take me to a hotel, Jessica. You'd take me home. Like how it used to be. You wouldn't be talking about breaking a rule that only existed for your clients. I'm Taeyeon. Your Taeyeon. Just yours. I don't want to be like them. I don't want to be any of them."

Jessica looked down once more and blinked several times. "Taeyeon…I don't think you fully understand what you're wishing for."

"Then help me understand, Jessica."

"Have you ever imagined, like really imagine how our life would be together?"

"Yeah," Taeyeon frowned, "All the time. We'd be in San Francisco, and I'll enroll at—"

"No… that's… that's a very picturesque thing you're going to tell me. I meant… marriage, family."

The artist straightened up her posture and thought about it for a moment. "I—no, I mean. I can see us getting married, and—and yeah, kids, I definitely want kids with you."

"Okay… so, what if our daughter or son starts asking what I used to do, what will you tell them? How will you approach the subject?"

"I…well, I'm gonna—I know it won't be easy, but—uhm," the artist deflated. "I don't know…"

"And Taeyeon, our last couple of dates… you took me to a Vegas show, and an art exhibit. How many times did you stop and think if I had a client in the room? You introduced me to some of your patrons. Did you wonder if any of them hired my services?"

Taeyeon leant back and looked away in defeat. "All the time," she mumbled. "I thought about it all the time. Whenever a man looks your way, I—I tried not to think about it."

"But you couldn't help it…"

The artist closed her eyes and massaged her temples before nodding.

"I've lost count, Taeyeon. I don't remember all of them anymore."

"But, it's… it's not that bad, right? You never had with any of them."

"What if I did?"

The artist's face turned pale. She swallowed roughly before taking a deep breath. "I—I thought you said—"

"What if I did?" Jessica repeated.

"I don't—I still love you, Jessica."

"I know that," the sighed softly. "It's just… I noticed you keep trying to confirm whether I have actually performed a ual favor to any of my clients. I already told you I never did. Yet, you still keep bringing it up. I know the fact that I never crossed the line makes things easier for you to accept, but please stop denying to yourself that you absolutely believe me. You have your doubts, and you may never get over them."