"Hey there, gorgeous. Glad you can make it." 

The subwoofers were in full blast, playing some bass-dominated music all over the venue. But Jessica only heard her own heart beating, ready to break free and run away. She smiled at her girlfriend. "I didn't want to make any promises."

Taeyeon nodded, leaned closer and spoke gently into the brunette's ear. "Do you want a drink?"

"I'd very much want that." Jessica murmured before clasping her hand securely with Taeyeon's. "But don't leave me alone here. I don't like the way some of those boys are unabashedly leering at me."

"They're harmless." Taeyeon grinned. She nonetheless reassured the brunette by wrapping her arm around Jessica's waist and quickly guiding her to the open bar.

"Are they serving you—"

"Uh, no. The beneficiaries are here. So… later, in a couple of hours when they're gone."

"Ah. When the party really begins."

Taeyeon nodded once with a smirk plastered on her face. "But . You can always get two glasses of…whatever it is you're having."

The brunette smiled coyly. "I'm not that thirsty."

"But I am!" Taeyeon whined. "Come on."

"Oh." Jessica nodded several times and threw the artist a knowing look. "Patience. You can wait for a couple of hours."

"Jessica."

"Taeyeon."

"Please?"

The brunette sighed dramatically.

"Fine. But only if you take me somewhere more… private."

Taeyeon's eyebrow shot high while a devious grin started to grow slowly.

"So we can talk." Jessica clarified before kissing the artist's cheek as a preemptive strike. "There's something we—I need to discuss with you."

"Oh." Taeyeon pouted playfully. "Right now? But we might miss Yuri's speech."

"We'll—I promise this won't take long. I just… I need to tell you something really important."

"So important that it can't wait?"

"I'm afraid so."

"It's never good news when your partner wants to talk." Taeyeon sighed. The artist turned around and began walking at a slow pace, allowing Jessica to follow at a safe distance. Taeyeon led them inside the mansion and continued to walk quietly all the way up to a terrace overlooking the city.

"Are we—is it okay that we just went up here?"

"Yeah."

"You know the owners?"

"Yeah."

"Taeyeon."

"What?"

"Are you sure?"

"You're looking at her, Jessica." the artist laughed and pulled the astonished brunette closer. "Like the view?"

"Mhm." The older woman cuddled as a cold gust of air passed through them. She held Taeyeon tighter in silence. With every second that elapsed, she committed to memory the younger girl's scent, her body's contours and the feel of her warm, silky skin.

Jessica needed to remember, and she was grateful that Taeyeon seemed to understand because the girl stood quietly and gently kissed her neck repeatedly. The older woman knew, however, that she needed to let go at a certain point.

The brunette swallowed roughly and her lips. "Taeyeon. We—this is the best time for us to talk."

"So much for distracting you." the artist said with a playful smile.

Jessica returned the smile before taking a step back. "There's something you need to know about me. When you talk about our future together… I want to have them, too, Taeyeon. So badly, that I changed my plans I've been carefully building for the last ten years of my life."

"What plans?"

Lolling her head from side to side with a smirk on her face, Jessica mumbled, "Hawaii. I've always wanted to live on the beach."

"Oh. Well, we can—"

"Nope. It's San Francisco we're gonna go to. If…" Jessica closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "If things go well after tonight."

"You're making me really nervous right now, Sica."

The brunette chuckled lowly and kissed Taeyeon. "Me too."

"You're shaking." the artist mumbled as she held on to Jessica's hands. "Everything's gonna be okay, Sica."

Lowering her head to hide her tears, Jessica placed their clasped hands over her chest. "Taeyeon… I've been… I've been lying all this time."

She felt the artist's hand squeeze hers tightly. "W-what, what do you mean?"

"I'm not—I don't run a travel agency with Taecyeon." She heard a faint gasp. She almost wailed at the loss of contact, only to moan in relief after being pulled into a tight embrace.

"Jessica—"

"I…we  have  been business partners over the decade…but it's not—we never—please believe me that meeting you was the last thing I ever expected. Understand that I had to survive in New York against all odds. I wanted to—I thought I could just pretend it will go away once I stop. I was stupid and—"

"Jessica." Taeyeon interrupted again and nudged the older woman's chin upwards. "You're rambling."

"Right… okay… I'm prolonging the agony."

"Sica… look, if you're into." Taeyeon looked around and whispered, "Selling drugs—"

"What? No. Taeyeon. I would never sell drugs—"

"We can leave the state—no, the country— now. I'll take care of us—"

"Taeyeon, I’m not into that business. I was adamantly against you using that, remember?"

"Yeah…but it does make sense that you'd get mad at me because you know how dangerous—"

"No, Taeyeon. Just. No. Okay? I’ve never sold drugs to anyone. Ever."

"Okay…" Taeyeon said with a hesitant tone.

"Taeyeon… you… it's like this…"

"Jessica, just please tell me."

"I'manescort."

"You're a—" Taeyeon squinted and furrowed her brows. "I'm sorry, I don't think I—"

"An ." Jessica mumbled slowly this time. "A high-class ."

"An… ."

"Yes. I've been… since my mother died."

"You're… you're… an…"

The loss of contact, this time, was not temporary. The first step away from her was the most painful. She felt number as Taeyeon took several more steps away.

"Taeyeon…"

"Like… you … men. You're… you've been… whenever you go to work… you're with a man."

"Let me explain something—"

"You…" Taeyeon covered with her hand and closed her eyes. Jessica had wished she stayed that way, for the moment the younger girl stared intensely at her with controlled rage, the brunette wanted to jump off the terrace. "You come home to me, and kiss me, and make love to me. But you've been in the company of men before you do all those things to me?"

"Taeyeon, that's not how—"

"Then tell me what it is! Because I'm not too sure I quite understand how you can whisper my name the way you have been doing when you've been… you've been… oh god." Taeyeon lifted her hand once again and covered while using her other hand to clutch her stomach. "How could you have hidden that from me?"

"I don't…I have no defense, Taeyeon. Except I wanted so badly to be with you, the fear of losing you was stronger than my desire to come clean. And I…there's a part of me that hoped you would just accept me."

"Accept you?" The young artist shrieked. "When I don't even know this… this woman in front of me!"

"Taeyeon!" Jessica's arms flailed wildly. "This is still me! I’m still your Jessica."

"My Jessica? How many of us actually own and share you?"

It only took a nanosecond.

Taeyeon's left cheek burned and her neck strained from the impact of Jessica's palm connecting to her face. The artist gradually recovered from the shock and gazed at the brunette with remorse. "Si—"

"You can call me a liar, or a , because I am guilty of not being honest to you." Jessica hissed. "But don't you ever think you can belittle me. I had nothing after my mother was killed. Things could have gone really bad for me. So, while I'm not proud of what I do, Taeyeon, I'm also not going to stand here and let you trample on my dignity. It's what kept me alive."

"I'm so—"

"Don't, Taeyeon. I should…" Jessica closed her eyes let out a shaky breath. "I should be the one apologizing. And I really am so sorry. I can't justify what I did. I kept acting based on my instinct to…do everything I can to keep you. I didn't want to lose you. I've been burned before, you know that."

Taeyeon nodded dumbly in understanding why Jessica's ex-boyfriends seemed to have left her abruptly. She slowly sat down on the floor and hugged her knees, before looking up at Jessica with wide-eyed confusion. "I told you I'm not like them. I'm not."

"Really? Because how you reacted—"

"You kept it from me, Jessica. What kind of reaction did you expect me to have?"

The brunette knelt down in front of Taeyeon. "I know. I'm sorry. That was unfair."

"What's gonna happen now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you quitting? If you're worried about money, Sica, I have—"

"Taeyeon, we need to end this."

"This? As in us? No! Jessica!" Taeyeon gasped and fumbled to reach for the older woman's hands. "You can't!"

"Taeyeon, I'm doing this for you."

"That's stupid! I don't want us to break up! Jessica! You're being stupid!"

"Am I? Taeyeon, just a few minutes ago, you could hardly look at me and it seemed like you were about to get sick."

"I'll get—I'm over it."

Jessica laughed softly. "Kiss me."

"W-what?"

"Kiss me, Taeyeon. You said you're over it."

"I… yeah, I am." The artist her lips and swallowed visibly before leaning an inch closer.

Then she stopped and looked away. "I'm sorry, but I can't right now." the artist whispered then broke down.

"I know." Jessica whispered back. "It's okay. Don't apologize, Taeyeon."

It hurt.

It hurt to see Taeyeon so fragile and vulnerable.

Intuitively, Jessica reached out to hold the younger girl, but the image of Taeyeon looking at her as if she was the most repugnant person kept her hand frozen in mid-air. "I should… I should leave."

"Please don't."

"Taeyeon." Jessica sighed. "You're young."

The artist glared at the brunette before standing up. "What the hell does that mean? You're not even thirty!"

"It means don't waste your time on someone like me. It means you'll get over me—"

"Don't. You. Say that!"

"Taeyeon—"

"No! Okay? No!" Taeyeon was livid. She pulled her hair and growled in frustration. "This is crazy talk, Jessica. I just need time to get over the fact that you hid things from me and what your job is. Just give me that. I love you, okay?"

"And I love you, too." Jessica whispered. "And that's why I'm going to do what is best for you."

"Please, Jessica."

"I'm sorry." The brunette lunged forward and held Taeyeon tightly. "I'm so sorry, Taeyeon. For everything."

"Please, don't. Jessica, don't do this. Please."

Jessica felt the artist's arms tighten around her. She felt Taeyeon's body shake uncontrollably. She felt everything.

She wanted nothing else but to hold her lover's body all night.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to let you go."

She had to.

And she did.

There was no pink-haired girl running after her this time, as both knew this wasn't part of the games they played.

Jessica found Yuri and pulled her aside. "Take care of Taeyeon."

The tanned girl's rare festive mood faded away in an instant. "What happened?"

"I need to head back to work. I don't have time to explain. Just. Promise me, Yuri. Look after her."

Yuri surveyed Jessica's disheveled appearance then nodded. "Are you gonna be alright?"

"I will be. Thank you for asking. She's upstairs. Terrace."

The cheerleader once again nodded before making a dash towards the house.

Jessica went home as quickly as possible and broke down. She kept chanting the words "this is for Taeyeon" in her head.

That became her prayer.

She needed something to hold on to in order to survive because the next few days would be the toughest.

She thought of staying over at Taecyeon's house, but she suddenly remembered her friend's confession. The last thing she needed was to be with a man who harbored deep feelings for her at the hour of absolute vulnerability.

She also didn't want to leave because she wanted to see Taeyeon walk in her own apartment. She was worried, to say the least, as to what the artist will do. She's heard and seen enough about the girl's erratic behavior when things don't go her way. Her heart started pounding loudly as she let her imagination run wild.

"Taeyeon, please don't do anything stupid." she whispered to herself while clutching her chest and stared at the artist's door from her apartment window.

She failed to sleep. Because Taeyeon didn't come home.