Taeyeon woke up to in an unusual way—her mother picking up the young girl's dirty clothes off the floor.

Rubbing her eyes violently as if trying to make sure it wasn't a dream, the artist mumbled softly. "Mom?"

The svelte older blonde stopped from her tracks, looked at Taeyeon and smiled. "Good morning, sweetie. Slept well?"

The artist blinked several times, still unsure if she's in the middle of sleep. But when she felt her bed dip after her mom sat down and kissed her forehead, the younger blonde found herself fully awaken and conscious. "Not really. What are you doing here?"

"Last time I checked, this is still my home. Unless, you kicked me out without notice." Judy joked. Her laughter, however, died down when she noticed the miserable state of her daughter. "Taeyeonie, you've been crying. What's wrong?"

Taeyeon rolled her eyes. "Question is, is there anything right about me?"

"Don't sass me. I asked a question."

"Don't pretend you actually care."

The older woman sighed heavily. "Why are you so hostile to me? You're not like this to your father."

"Really, mom? We're having this conversation now?"

"No. We'll have it downstairs as soon as you get up. I made breakfast."

"Not hungry."

"Kim Taeyeon."

"Ugh. Fine. I'm up."

"Good. Come down, tell me what's going on in your life." Judy said in an insistent manner then pointed to Taeyeon before leaving the room. "You can start with your hair."

The young artist groaned loudly. The last time she had the much dreaded Kim women food bonding session was after she came out as a lesbian. Well, more like Judy caught her making out with a girl in the living room.

Taeyeon still has a vivid memory of how her mother reacted. Actually, it was the older blonde's non-reaction that made the whole scenario unforgettable.

Her mother politely asked the girl to leave, and then told Taeyeon to fix the table for dinner.

Mother's intuition, Judy reasoned out. She always knew, she said. Taeri unnie spent all her time playing coy with boys who kept chasing her. Taeyeon followed her tanned girl friend around like a German shepherd. It wasn't, therefore, hard for a mother to figure things out.

What was left unspoken was a mother's fear of losing her only daughter left. She fought with her husband every single time Taeyeon's uality was brought up. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back of an already crumbling marriage. What's worse is that she could never seem to have Taeyeon's sympathy or affection even as a child.

She couldn't blame her daughter, either.

Judy was brought up in a heavily regimented WASP family from Ohio. Her father was a government employee and her mother was the typical homemaker. While they didn't have to make ends meet, they also didn't have the luxury of what Taeyeon enjoyed. And with five siblings to live with, discipline was everything. That is, if they didn't want to be reacquainted with their father's belt.

So, she brought up two girls not with the way her father did, but, however, was also incapable of bringing warmth into the family.

She simply didn't know how to.

Thus, Judy constantly blamed herself for Taeri unnie's suicide. And she also constantly blamed herself for Taeyeon's dour attitude.

And that sneer on her daughter's lovely face despite her favorite breakfast being served.

"Taeyeon, honey," the older blonde whined. "Talk to me."

"Good cooking, mom." Judy rolled her eyes before taking a sip of coffee.

"You know that's not—"

"What do you want me to say? Jessica and I broke up. I'm miserable. I'm depressed. I'm heartbroken. I feel like I'm being torn into a million pieces and that the wind had blown all of me in several locations."

"Jessica, that gorgeous girl next door?" The older woman inquired, deliberately ignoring her daughter's hyperbolic description of her emotions.

"Yes." Taeyeon sighed in exasperation. "You met her once."

"I did. Lovely girl. I'm actually surprised she agreed to date you." Taeyeon stabbed her pancake with a fork while glaring at her mother.

"I always knew you had so much faith in me."

"I wouldn’t have dated someone like you, Taeyeon. You're my daughter and I accept all of you. But let's face it; you're not Miss Personality of the Year."

"I have my moments." the younger girl mumbled in defeat.

"Well, those moments seem to have failed you. Why did she break up with you?"

"Why would you assume I didn’t do the breaking?"

"Because you wouldn't feel like being 'torn into a million pieces' if that was the case. Is that why you've returned to your natural hair color?"

"It's a long story."

"I have all day."

"That's a first."

"Won't be the last."

Taeyeon's ears perked up. "Are you sick?"

"No, why would you think that?"

"Because you're being weird."

"I just…" Judy tapped her fingers over the table top, figuring out how to approach the subject matter. "When you packed up Taeri's things. It… it got me into thinking. Really hard. Almost felt like being doused with ice cold water."

"Finally accepted she's gone?"

"More like… I finally realized I haven't been a mother at all. Especially to you. It took time, but I'm getting there. I've been seeing a therapist."

"I don't see—"

"Taeyeon, you've never liked me. Why is that?"

"I—that's not true." Taeyeon looked down and nervously played with her food. "I think you and I both know that's really not the case."

"Mom, really, can we not talk—"

"Taeri unnie and I never talked. We never will."

"I’m not like her." Taeyeon hissed. Her anger was completely halted from building up by a sudden awareness of what her mother was saying in between the lines.

"You—you blame yourself for Taeri unnie's suicide? Mom, you know that's not the case."

"Is it?" Judy cleared as her voice began to break.

Taeyeon shook her head slowly. "She was sick."

"I should've been there for her."

"I don't think you could've done anything, mom. No one could have. I'm not—I'm not blaming you at all. And I don't dislike you because of that."

"Oh, I know that much. You've never liked me even when you were a lot younger."

"That's because I…I always felt I could never be better than you." Taeyeon whispered.

Judy leaned closer, unsure of what she had heard. "You…you were insecure? Taeyeon, I'm your mother. I'm not your competition."

"You’re perfect, mom." the artist stated with much derision. "You do everything perfectly. I grew up hearing all sorts of great things about you, from our church to your friends, officemates, everyone. You—you're this…wonder woman who graduated from an Ivy League under full academic scholarship, runs a very successful business, gorgeous, affable, can freaking run a household, a great cook, and has won every figurative Miss Personality of the Year."

"Taeyeon—"

"I'm not done. And besides physical appearance? We have nothing in common, mom. I'm just—I'm everything you're not. And in this stupid, desolate world we live in, that means I . I tried to be like you, but I ended up being the cheerleader that got kicked out for being a lesbian. You never once said I'm pretty or that I'm alright as a person. You never assured me it was okay to not be like you." Taeyeon looked away and began controlling her breathing. "And that's why I don't like you." she finally ended.

It was cathartic. To finally be able to say it out loud. The only thing left was for her mother to read her the riot act.

Or not.

What Judy did next positively surprised Taeyeon. Tentatively, the older blonde reached out and held the artist's hand. Squeezing it tightly, the repentant mother breathed deeply and muttered an apology.

"I'm so sorry."

A very short statement in contrast to a long-winded rant borne out of years of failed parenting. The young girl's face slowly lit up. That's the first time she had ever heard her mother apologize to her.

"It's okay."

"Tell me what I can do to make amends."

Taeyeon chewed her lower lip and thought about her answer hard. "Can you stop with the wife-swapping? It really bothers me and makes me sick."

Judy's eyes widened in shock. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Wife-swa—"

"I know what that is. I am shocked that you're accusing me of….of participating in—in that sort of…activity." The younger blonde frowned deeply.

"But dad said—"

"Well, your father is lying!" Judy clutched her chest and pulled a face in disgust.

"Where were you on my birthday?"

"I left a note, honey. I told you there was a charity event I had to go to. And I even left a ticket for you to follow in case you wanted to go."

"You and your stupid notes! You know I don't read them!"

"And yet, you believe your father just like that?"

"I—well, he—"

"Never mind," Judy sighed. "I'm not going to turn you against Russell."

The artist continued to glower in confusion. "Why would dad say something like that?"

"Taeyeon, I won't be answering for your father. You go ask him that question."

"So you never—"

"I've had my affairs. I won't deny that. I have no one to blame but myself. But I have stopped seeing anyone since your Taeri unnie's death."

"So…so…all those times you travelled alone…"

"I was really alone."