Title: My Heart
Author: kyouya3/kyouya-sama
Length: Drabble
Pairing: JaeSu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, Dark, Supernatural, Tragedy

My Heart

I decide to live without a heart for as long as I can remember. I’m not normal and I know it, yet, in surface I put a mask for everyone to see. They think I’m one of them, the good person. I’m not; their teaching has taught me I’m beyond help. Someday, demon will prey on my tainted soul.

It is night, like any other night, when I feel someone is following me from behind. There’s no one else, just me and I brave myself to turn around. What I see leave me stunned. He’s wearing dark black robe and there’s scars on his face. His eyes are red and they’re almost like looking to the deep of my soul.

That’s how I know it’s time for me to go. The demon who has taken my heart long time ago will take me whole this time. I am not afraid; I have yearned for this time for so long. We speak and his voice echoes through my soul. I want him, I don’t know why; I want him to break what’s left of me.

I crave for pain before I know it. I have no heart to avoid pain. At least, when the time comes, I want all those pain I have hid from, carved into my soul. I beg as he listens and reaches out.

I close my eyes and wait for his touch. It’s like an avalanche; he breaks apart all those fake masks I have created and makes me face the deepest part of my soul. I can feel he speaks to me through his deadly touch.

“I have never stolen your heart,” he says after knowing the deepest part of me.

“You have not,” I say as I open my eyes, looking at him with a smile I never thought I possess,” I never meant to fall for you but I was buried underneath and all that I could see was black.”

I can see it confuses him. He reaches even deeper as I can feel pain on my chest. He’s carving the pain I ask for and I know he gets his answer of my confession before. If I have to choose, I’ll be choosing demon over angel and that’s how I know I can’t be saved. No one, in their right mind, will do so.

“You think I’m your salvation,” he speaks with his deep voice as darkness completes me. I cry and scream in pain, answering his question without any voice left. I can see the corner of his lips moves; it’s almost like I amuse him.

“Junsu…My Junsu…” he speaks my name,” I will gladly take not only your heart, but your soul and everything else…”

“Please…Jaejoong,” I use my last strength to call his name as he moves even closer. The pain is so unbearable but I know it’s my choice. He’s generous enough to grant me such a selfish wish. Tears are damped on my cheek and I can no longer see, except darkness. His voice is the only thing echoes.

“You’re so luscious,” he whispers as suddenly the pain stops. When I gain my strength back, I am nowhere, floating in darkness. I can feel his touch on my lips and how he penetrates me with his demonic power. It’s not long before I know what he’s doing. He’s turning into one of his kind and I can’t ask for more. I’m on his mercy and I hope my heart is enough for him.