"How is my mom?" I asked the doctor as we head towards my mom's bed. I met him earlier at the nurse's desk. The doctor walked slowly and signalled me to walk with him.

"She is stable and doing better. Have you made your decision?" The doctor asked the same question and I still could not answer him.

"I need more time to think..," I said darting off few of my last words. I cannot even pay half of the price. Loaning will risk our lives even more if we were not able to return their money. Should I start working instead of depending on my allowance? God, why didn't I thought of that sooner?!

"I am sorry Miss Geum," the doctor suddenly apologised. Why? What was he sorry about? I paid full attention to his next sentences.

"You have to make up your mind as soon as possible. As you know, your mother is not the only patient here, and I know you are smart to know that on your own. There are many other patients that we have to-" I had to cut him off.

"Are you tired of looking after my mom?" I asked furiously. My ears grew hot after listening to him. Aren't doctors suppose to help patients with all their might to heal them? What kind of a doctor is he?!

"That's not what I meant, what I was trying to say is-," I am losing my patience listening to him.

"What you were trying to say is that you hoped my mom didn't get better, that she would be better dead by now so that you have one less patient to worry about! Is that it?!" I don't care if there were people around or not. Better yet, let everyone know so that they don't submit in themselves or their loved ones to this darned, crappy piece of building!

"Lower down your voice," he insisted, adjusting his glasses and hang his head low since some people heard me ranting. My blood pressure is increasing so I left after I told him I will give him my answer by tomorrow and I was wondering when can my mom leave her hospital bed. I should ask him that tomorrow.

I approached my mom's bed and I saw she was soundly asleep. I grabbed a white plastic chair and sat near her bed. I took my mom's hand in mine and kissed it. I missed her so much. My cheeks are now wet and my heart just felt a terrible pain, as if someone stabbed it with a knife. I almost couldn't bear the pain and cried harder. It has been a long day and I actually bawled my eyes to sleep.

*******************

I felt my hair was caressed and it made me woke up.

"Mom?!" I blurted. I grabbed the hand and placed it on my right cheek.

"Jari-ah," my mom said weakly, smiled weakly. It killed me inside to see my mom suffering like this. Why mom? Why not me? Let me take your pain away and just let me suffer instead! My tears left my eyes and my mom caught them with her thumb.

"Why are you crying sweetheart?" My mom's smile faded at the sight and I don't ever want her smile to go away so I forced my smile.

"I'm happy to see you mom, I missed you," I kissed her hand over and over until my mom's smile is back. I know she felt ticklish every time me and Juri-.. Every time I do that..

"I'm happy to see you too honey. Why are you not in school?" Mom asked. We didn't meet for three months and that was all mom can think of. I was about to forget I was still a student.

"I get to visit home this break mom, and I bought you some little gifts," I took out the flowers I bought for her the day before and we chit chatted for hours. I didn't tell her I was injured in school, I didn't want her to worry much so I told her all good things. Including Jongup.

"Well, aren't you going to show your boyfriend to me?" Mom teased me. I laughed at mom's joke and told her nothing was between me and Jongup... or was it?

A nurse came in 2 hours later after my mom woke up and she told me that mom had to take her another rest again. I obeyed and so I left to finally head home.

*******************

On my way home, there was a playground before I turn to the left to where my house is. I decided to relax my mind for a bit there and get some fresh air. It was only me at that time, the playground was empty since the sky is already dark. I sat at one of the swings but few minutes later, I heard footsteps behind me. I was too tired to bother so I took a deep breath and I closed my eyes to rest my mind. I felt a presence on the swing next to me. It felt like someone sat down beside me. I was about to ignore it at first, maybe it was just a random child. But then I heard a ringtone.

Chris Brown's ringtone.

No other than Jongup. A small smile appeared on my lips and as I was about to greet him, I opened my eyes to see an upset face. I have never seen this expression before. Jongup then took out his phone from his jeans' pocket, took a look at the screen and placed it back in.

"J-Jongup-sshi," I muttered under my breath. Maybe he had a bad day, I told myself. Jongup only hummed in reply, making me insecure. I mean, maybe it was my fault I ignored him before going to the hospital. Maybe it was all because of me. We were quiet for about 5 minutes or so.

"Look, I'm sorry if I offended you in any way earlier," I said softly. I looked up to Jongup to see whether he heard me or not, in case he have his earpiece on because he always do but he heard me. He kept quiet instead of participating into the conversation.

"A-are you okay?" I asked, trying to look into his eyes to read his facial expression. Sometimes, Jongup is hard to read and he was always unpredictable. He was always full of surprises.

"Do you want to-" I was about to offer him some ice cream when he suddenly cut me off.

"How was it?" Jongup blurted. Even the tone of his voice was quiet different. He seemed like he was trying to hold something in.

"How was what..?" I replied hesitantly. I was sure I didn't tell him where I was going. Or did he actually followed me to the hospital?!

"Well, you ditched me. You had a date right?" Jongup said and I sensed urgency in his voice. Oh my, not this again.

"I told you I was not going to-" he cut me off again.

"Who is he?" It felt like Jongup's blood was boiling because he sighed and took a deep breath before cutting me off again. I really hate it when my sentences were cut off. I don't care whoever they are, at least show some respect when someone else is talking.

"What do you mean?" My blood started to boil too. We never had fight before this because the Jongup that I knew was a sweet person, not an .

"Don't lie to my face and tell me the truth," Jongup said and he was getting on my nerves. I sighed loudly and closed my eyes. This isn't happening.

"Okay! I had a date! Are you done?!" Unconsciously I raised my voice to him. I don't know what to think and he just can't stop asking.

"Who is it?" Jongup didn't give up. Annoyed, I stomped my foot to the ground and turned my whole body, along with the swing to Jongup's direction.

"What do you know?!" I almost screamed. I almost lost my mind at a point that I felt like punching him in the face for being a stupid jerk. I may always seem quiet and calm back in the college but when it comes to my personal life, I would fully defend it from strangers whom I have not fully trusted. Honestly, I have not fully trusted Jongup yet because we never shared our personal stories. There were times where I almost told him about mom but you know I hate it when people pity me instead of shaking it off and be cool about it. I mean, its not like we can do anything, right?

"What I know is that you had a date and you refused to let me know!" Jongup raised his voice a bit. I have never saw this side of him. His furious, irritated side. What is wrong with him today?

"Are you still not going to tell me?" Jongup kept on darting me questions. My head can blow up anytime by now. My blood has reached its boiling point that I could explode.

"Would you shut the hell up?!" I kept on resisting my urge to scream at him but I might reach my boiling point soon if he keep this up.

"Is it so hard to tell me?" It seemed to me like Jongup did this on purpose.

"I had a date with my mom! So what?!" I finally lost it. Tears suddenly pool in my eyes as I my mom's image appeared in my mind and I looked away, hopefully Jongup did not see it.

Finally, silence.

I hang my head low and turned away from Jongup. I wish he would just walk away and leave me alone. I need some time to drown into my own thoughts. A tear dropped onto my light yellow dress and Jongup immediately squatted in front of me.

"Jari-sshi.. I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean to.." I think Jongup felt guilty. He must have thought he made me cry but instead of answering, I stood up and head towards the bench next to the swings. Jongup followed my steps and sat not too close, only to make me feel more comfortable with my personal space.

Jongup didn't know what to do. He must have felt bad but I couldn't bring myself to explain it to him yet. I just continued crying to make myself feel better and I was sure Jongup could wait and give me all the time that I needed. Being impatient, Jongup stood up and squat in front of me again, to have a better look of my face.

"Jari-sshi..," Jongup started. I kept on wiping my tears with my hands, I didn't know I could cry that much.

"Do you want me to go...?" Jongup asked. Yes, I do but no, don't listen to me, was going through my mind at that time but I only kept quiet. Jongup took my silence as a yes and he slowly stood back up on his feet. I didn't know why but I gathered my courage and unconciously grabbed his hand. Jongup's eyes widen at the touch and he froze.

"Stay," I almost whispered with my head still hanging low. I didn't want him to see me crying but I didn't want him to leave too. I don't want him to walk away just like that after the fight we just had. Our first fight.

Jongup then sat next to me, gap was still in between. As I was about to let go of his hand, his grip tighten instead. That made my tears to stop for a moment.

It felt good, I must say.

I finally decided to tell Jongup everything. I finally trusted him with all my heart.