"Oh my god! Yonghwa is back from the grave!" I almost lost grip of the bottles of soju I was holding upon hearing Hongki's loud remark. Admittedly, I was taken aback and I felt like the world stopped for a split second. Yonghwa is here. Yonghwa came. On my birthday. After months of no communication at all. I still remember my last memory of him at Hongki's place. He stood there courageously, telling me how he have fallen for me but I turned my back at him. I was the one who asked for it, he gave what I asked of him. I thought I lost a friend in him but knowing that he came meant a lot. My friend is still here.

But I took my step back to where my guests are, and back to where he is, awkwardness suddenly filled me. Why do I suddenly feel uneasy just the thought of seeing him again?

My eyes tried to avoid him and I immediately reached out to Minhyuk who gave me a hug tight. He missed his noona so much and his noona missed him too. Jonghyun, on the other hand, fistbumped me as if we had accomplished something only us knew of. And the maknae shyly smiled and greeted me.

"Hi, Shinhye! Happy birthday!" I tried to act nonchalant and I hope no one noticed how awkwardly I looked because I could feel it. The moment he looked and greeted me was the moment I realized how I like this guy and how foolish I was to let him go easily.

"Long time no see. It's great you came." I smiled back as I tried to control the overflowing giddiness I am feeling. I didn't  know it would be this awkward.

The night went on as planned. Everyone got to taste the new dish I just tried cooking recently and everyone got drunk especially the chocoball boys who never failed to make me laugh. It was one of the happiest birthdays I have and one of the most awkward I guess as I kept on stealing glances at him who didn't even look awkward like I do. He would smile at me whenever our eyes met while the others were joking around. He wasn't the same and I wasn't the same me anymore. At times like this, I would be adding up things to mock Yonghwa or we would be teasing Hongki's patience. He would sit beside me and I would hit him hard if I couldn't contain my laugh. Then I realized things have really changed since that night.

Perhaps I have drunk enough and I needed air to breathe. Maybe it was because of birthday blues that I am having this terrible mood swings.

"How have you been, Shinhye?"

I was shocked to hear a very familiar voice. Did he just follow me all the way to the veranda?

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