14.

Yixing wakes up with an armful of Jongin under the covers of his bed and he wonders briefly if he’s dreaming until Jongin shifts and lets out a soft sigh of contentment. Jongin murmurs ‘hyung’ in his sleep as his arms tighten around the elder’s waist and Yixing can’t help but smile, because Jongin like this is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Kim Jongin is absolutely beautiful to Yixing.

“Hyung?” Jongin asks sleepily, voice scratchy, “Yixing?”

“Yes, Jongin-ah?” Yixing asks as he’s surprised how sore his own voice sounds.

Jongin smiles sleepily up at Yixing - he looks exceptionally like a puppy this morning, “Good morning.”

Yixing chuckles, “Good morning, sweetheart.” he says before kissing the top of Jongin’s head and Jongin makes a pleased noise in the back of his throat.

“I could wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life and never get tired of it,” Jongin decides as he presses in closer to Yixing.

The words make Yixing’s heart skip and his breath hitch, “J-Jongin?”

“Mm?” Jongin hums sleepily as if he hadn’t just confessed to something so intimate.

“Do you…” Yixing clears his throat, “We’ve only been dating for two weeks, Jongin.” he says, even though that’s not at all what he wants to say in the slightest.

What he wants to say is that there’s a spare key to this apartment in his nightstand drawer and that Jongin can have it if he wants it. He wants to say that this apartment doesn’t have to just belong to himself, but to them both. He wants to say that he can’t imagine spending his life with anyone else, because, in all honesty, he can’t. Even if it’s only been two weeks into their love, it’s been years into their relationship - even if it had been a bit rocky at the start.

He wants to admit these things out loud, but he’s scared it’s too fast. And he’s scared that he’s willing to give so, so much to Jongin who is willing to do all of the same things in return. He’s scared about how easily he opens up to Jongin and it’s so much easier than he had ever anticipated. He’s terrified, but at the same time he’s excited. So terribly excited. He can’t seem to get his heart to rest at the thought of being so far gone, so far in love.

“Not really,” Jongin says, looking up at Yixing with less sleepy eyes, “I mean, two weeks for being officially together, but… We were always together, weren’t we?”

Yixing chokes, “We were.”

Jongin traces a lazy pattern on Yixing’s chest with the tips of his fingers and watches as goosebumps raise on the pale skin. He stills his fingers suddenly when he realizes what he’s been saying and he sits up to look at Yixing shyly, a blush on his cheeks and wide eyes. He opens his mouth to speak and when he can’t find the words to say anything, he feels a pair of lips against his own. Yixing smiles into the press of lips and Jongin smiles too, giggling at the way Yixing’s nose scrunches up just slightly.

“Are we moving too fast, hyung?” Jongin asks shyly.

“I don’t know,” Yixing shrugs and pulls Jongin into his embrace, “All I know is that I love you and I don’t want us to rush anything we’re not ready for yet.”

Jongin lets out an airy laugh, “How do we know when we’re ready?”

“We just know,” Yixing pauses for a moment, “When we don’t have to think about it… When it becomes natural.” Jongin agrees with every word, because he feels the same way.

❦❦❦

It takes two weeks from New Year’s Day for Jongin’s and Yixing’s relationship to become an entirely public affair. Everyone at work congratulates them and at first Yixing is embarrassed, but he slowly opens up to holding hands after a long day and stolen kisses between practices. Jongin is too proud to be shy about their relationship and he makes sure that everyone knows that he belongs to Yixing and vice versa. He’s ecstatic and everyone thinks it’s endearing, especially Yixing.

That’s probably why Yixing opens up so easily to the idea of public affection, because Jongin is there with him and he doesn’t mind showing it off. He’s in love and he doesn’t care who knows, because he’s happy. They’re both happy. And so they snuggle together at Minseok’s cafe and they share heated kisses in the shower room at work and they steal lingering glances at each other in the studio. Everyone can see it, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because they’re not ashamed of what they have for each other.

Yixing will still shy away from certain touches in public and Jongin won’t force him to do anything he doesn’t like or want to do. Jongin is still really bashful about their relationship too and he’s always bright red in the face when they kiss on the sidewalk or when they hold hands across the table at a resturaunt. But he’s bolder and happier and he wants to show his hyung how proud he is to be with him. And Yixing doesn’t mind it, not as much anymore, because he’s proud to have Jongin by his side too.

“You two are so cute it makes me sick,” Luhan says as he crinkles his nose in mock disgust and Yixing can only laugh.

Jongin smirks - he’s learned how to act around Luhan finally and understands how this banter works - and kisses Yixing’s cheek, “We could say the same thing about you and Minseok.” he says and Luhan’s face flushes.

“What are you talking about?” He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest before he hear bell-like laughter ringing in his ears, the laughter he knows that belongs to Minseok.

“Hannie,” Minseok coos as he sits beside him at their table, “They’re talking about me and you, obviously.”

Luhan frowns, but his face somehow deepens in colour, “What about us exactly?”

“Your relationship with each other.” Yixing deadpans as he accepts the coffee that Chanyeol brings him before the lanky barista disappears behind the counter again, because he knows where this conversation is going and he doesn’t want any part of it.

“What relationship?” Luhan demands and Minseok looks almost hurt.

He makes that little ‘o’ shape with his mouth as he grabs at his chest, above his heart, and curls his hand into a fist, balling the fabric of his shirt between his fingers, “Our friendship.”

Luhan groans in annoyance and Minseok laughs loudly before patting Luhan on the back. Jongin and Yixing spare each other a glance before they burst into laughter and Luhan only groans louder. Baekhyun, smartly, takes that as a cue to bring Luhan’s green tea before Luhan bursts from embarrassment. Yixing realizes that Baekhyun and Chanyeol have gotten really good at handling these two, but he’s not really surprised. Luhan and Minseok are always together, whether they admit it or not.

“Don’t they look cute, dear?” Yixing asks as he leans on Jongin.

The younger immediately, automatically, wraps his arm around Yixing’s shoulders to pull him closer, “Almost as cute as us, sweetpea.”

“Oh gross,” Luhan scoffs, “No pet names at the table.”

Minseok pouts, “But Hannie.”

“That’s not a pet name,” Luhan says hurriedly, “It’s a nickname.”

Jongin snorts, “That’s a pet name, hyung.”

“Is not!” Luhan defends before taking possibly the largest gulp of hot green tea anyone has ever taken before so that it burns his tongue.

“But, Hannie,” Minseok blinks several times, “I’m the only one who calls you that.”

Luhan coughs once he manages to swallow his tea, “It’s a nickname you gave me, that’s why.” he argues and Minseok laughs before pinching his cheek gently.

“And what do you call me, Hannie?”

“Minnie…” Luhan mumbles and Yixing laughs a little too loudly so that Jongin ends up laughing too.

“That’s a pet name too, ge.” Yixing explains through his laughter and Minseok giggles at the expression on Luhan’s face.

Luhan groans in indignation, “It is not a pet name, it is a nickname.”

Minseok pouts cutely, “But I thought I was special, Hannie?”

Luhan sighs, “I have to go.”

“Why?” Minseok frowns, genuinely this time as Luhan gets up to leave.

“I just,” he sighs, “I have to go, that’s all.”

“But, Luhan,” Minseok stands up and grabs his arm, “Wait, are you actually leaving?”

“Let go, Minseok.” Luhan says as he awkwardly shakes off Minseok’s hold.

Yixing and Jongin watch with their jaws dropped as Luhan storms out of the cafe and Minseok is left standing rather pathetically by himself. Even Baekhyun and Chanyeol spare each other some awkward side glances before hurrying back to their work. It’s not until Minseok slumps back down into his chair with a heavy sigh passing between his lips that Jongin and Yixing break from their trance.

“What was that all about?” Yixing asks first to break the silence and it’s obvious how concerned he is by the urgent tone of voice he’s using.

“Nothing,” Minseok mumbles, making no eye contact and not exactly convincing anyone of anything.

Jongin his head to the side in confusion, because he’s never seen Minseok like this - he didn’t think it was possible for Minseok to actually be upset. Everyone always came to see him with their own problems and he always had the answers. It seemed entirely impossible for someone like Minseok to be so forlorn. And he realizes in that moment that maybe, just maybe, Minseok has never voiced his own problems because no one has ever asked him if he’s okay. Jongin thinks it’s about time.

“Are you okay, hyung?” He asks softly and Minseok looks up startled.

“Okay?” Minseok repeats, as if that’s a foreign question to him.

He thinks about it for a moment, he lets the question sink in. For the first time he doesn’t respond automatically the way he always does. The usual hands up in front of himself waving them around with a fake smile plastered onto his lips, a fakeness that he has done so well to conceal, as he says a quick, ‘of course I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?’ But now he’s thinking, really thinking about it and he starts to cry. It’s not a great sob, but just tears rolling down his cheeks and he wouldn’t really know that’s he’s crying except that the tears are blurring his vision even though he tries to blink them away. With every bat of his lashes, the tears roll out more and more.

“Hyung?” Jongin asks gently and reaches across the table to rest a hand on Minseok’s wrist and Minseok looks up with a sad smile on his lips.

“I’m not okay.” He whispers.

Minseok likes to keep to himself. He hates to worry others about his problems and locks them away. He used to write things down in a journal, but since he’s opened the cafe, he hasn’t had the time to write out his thoughts or feelings anymore. When Jongin and Yixing look at him with caring eyes, he takes a deep breath and decides that it’s time for him to let someone know that he’s not as strong as he seems.

“It’s just,” Minseok sighs and wipes at his tears with a napkin, “I love Luhan so, so much. I don’t think he understands how much I love him, but I don’t want to scare him away with words like that. He’s not ready, and I respect that, but on New Year’s Eve… Something happened and now he doesn’t like it when I anymore. Maybe he never did, I don’t know, but I feel like after all the time I spent trying to build a relationship between us, it’s slowly coming apart because of one silly mistake.”

Yixing makes that little ‘o’ shape with his mouth that Minseok usually does and he reaches out with another napkin for his hyung to take, “I noticed that you two disappeared on New Year’s Eve… Where’d you go?”

Minseok shrugs, “He came up to the counter in the cafe and he was so, so very drunk so I thought I’d take him to the back where he could throw up in peace and I’d make him some tea to sober him up. I was worried about him, I’ve never seen him get that drunk before. When we got to the back room… Luhan… Luhan tried to kiss me, but I stopped him, because I thought he was too drunk to know what he wanted. We got into an argument after that, but he was just spewing out nonsense because of the alcohol, I couldn’t make sense of anything he was saying. He told me he loves me and I stopped him, again.

“I couldn’t let him try to work himself into getting in my pants with words like that just because he was drunk and . I didn’t want it to seem like I was taking advantage of his poor, shot-induced judgement and I didn’t want him to take advantage of my feelings for him. We didn’t do anything. He passed out and I took him home where I made soup for him to eat in the morning and left tea for him to heat up to help him with his hangover. That was it, but I’m worried he might have taken my actions the wrong way. I do want Luhan, but I want us to have something special first.” Minseok takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry to dump all of this on you both.”

“Luhan,” Yixing sighs, “That idiot, I swear sometimes he just doesn’t think straight. I’ll go talk to him.” he says raising from his chair, but Minseok stops him.

“Whatever is happening between me and Luhan is between the two of us. I appreciate your offer, Yixing, I really, truly do and I’d do anything to make it right between him and I once more. It’s something I have to do on my own, though, Yixing, you know why.”

Yixing nods slightly, “I know… I understand. I just… I want the two of you to find happiness. I know Luhan has had some difficulties in his love life, but it’s time for him to move on.”

“It’s time for him to move on when he’s ready for it,” Minseok says sadly and sniffles.

“I just hope that when he’s ready to move on that you haven’t already moved on,” Jongin says quietly and Minseok blinks at him a few times.

“I would never-” He starts, but Jongin shakes his head.

“You don’t know that. You can’t wait for him forever, either, Minseok. I know you want to be with him, but sometimes we have to learn to let things go too.” Jongin says and he smiles a little bit as if he’s trying to smooth over his words, but he knows the harsh reality of them. And so does Minseok.

“You’re right,” Minseok says as he chews into his bottom lip, “You’re right, Jongin. Maybe I should let Luhan go. I can’t keep pretending like this doesn’t hurt me too.”

Yixing frowns and looks out the window as if he’s expecting Luhan to be standing there before he looks back at Minseok, “Are you sure?”

“No,” Minseok chuckles sadly, “That’s the problem though, we’re never sure unless we try.”

Jongin’s hand searches for Yixing’s under the table and he squeezes the elder’s fingers between his own. If he had never tried to be with Yixing then they wouldn’t be sitting here together right now, he knows this. He also knows that if Minseok doesn’t try to move on then he’ll never know if he’s capable of doing so. The world keeps on spinning and people keep on changing. It’s how the universe works and Minseok understands that if he doesn’t seek change on his own terms, he’ll never get it.

hey guys! I actually forgot that I wrote this chapter lol and I was very confused when I started writing again and I'd already had chapter 14 finished. I just sat here and thought, "WAIT...WHAT." So, here it is! ^^ The next update will be the last and possible the longest... It makes me sad to have to bring this to a conclusion, but I feel like there's not much more I could write ;~; I hope that you all had a pleasant New Year and I wish you all the best for 2016 ♡!