11.

NOTE: I have edited chapter 10 and split it into two. This update isn't really new, but there have been a few edits made. I'll ask that you go back and re-read chapter 10 first and then read this chapter! I'm sorry for any confusion this may cause, please forgive me. - TadaChi

Jongin sleeps over at Sehun's house on Sunday night. He explains to Sehun everything that he saw and Sehun comforts him with Chinese take-out food and comedy movies that seem to perk him up only just a little bit. Because in the back of his head, he knows that he has to face Yixing tomorrow and that thought alone is enough to scare him. He sighs and falls into a very light sleep on Sehun's couch, dreaming of the one that got away. His first love. Zhang Yixing.

On Monday when he arrives at the studio, Jongin isn’t angry, he’s just upset. That’s why he gives Yixing the cold shoulder at practice when Yixing says a soft ‘good morning.’ That’s why he avoids eye contact with the elder for the entire day and well into the afternoon. He does not join Yixing for lunch and he does not offer to rub his shoulders as he always does whenever Yixing complains to Luhan about it, even if just in jest.

And when Jongin closes his locker at the end of the day with the intent to leave, that’s when he hears it. Jongin is surprised when he notices the noises coming from somewhere in the locker room. He’s aware that he’s the last to leave today, at least he thought. But as he listens closer, he recognizes the sobbing coming from around the corner as Yixing’s.

“Yixing?” Jongin calls softly.

He hears a loud sniffle and then Yixing’s voice wavering as he calls back, “J-Jongin?”

Jongin swallows thickly at the sound of Yixing calling out his name. It hurts, almost, in some weird way to hear Yixing say his name like this. It’s broken and small and it shatters Jongin just a little more as he pokes his head around the corner and behind a row of lockers.

Yixing is slumped against one of the rows, seated rather pathetically on the floor with his phone in his hands. He’s got fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he wipes at them sadly with one of his sleeves. Or, rather, one of Jongin’s sleeves, Jongin notices as Yixing is wearing his shirt.

“Hyung?” Jongin asks carefully as he approaches the elder, “Are you okay, hyung?”

“Fine,” Yixing’s voice cracks and he laughs sadly, “That wasn’t even mildly convincing, was it?”

Jongin smiles wistfully, “No, hyung,” he says as he sits down next to him, “Do you need a shoulder?”

Yixing laughs then, actually laughs, despite himself and leans his head against Jongin’s shoulder, “Thank you.” he whispers.

Jongin takes a deep breath, his heart is practically beating out of his chest, because here Yixing is in his arms and he can barely believe that this is real. He thinks back on the guy he saw yesterday, but pushes him to the back of his mind. That guy could have been anyone he decides as he slips his arm around Yixing’s waist and lets his free hand tangle with one of Yixing’s so that they’re fingers are fit perfectly between the spaces. And suddenly, Jongin feels a little better. Because, as upset as he is, he wouldn’t trade being with his hyung for the world.

“I like this shirt,” Jongin says after nearly twenty minutes of silence.

Yixing blushes, “Ah, yeah, sorry,” he chuckles, “You left it after practice and I thought I’d wash it for you, but… I like it.”

Jongin laughs, but it’s breathy, “I like it too. On you. You look good in it, hyung.” he whispers into Yixing’s ear and Yixing nearly jumps at the feeling of Jongin’s warm breath on his neck.

Yixing giggles a little, mostly because his neck is a ticklish spot, before pulling away from the younger slightly after remembering something important he's been meaning to speak to him about since the start of the day, “Jongin?”

“Yes, hyung?”

“Remember how we scheduled dance practice for every Friday night this month?” Yixing sighs and Jongin nods, “I’m going to have to cancel this week. I have this- this thing to attend.”

“You don’t want to dance with me?” Jongin pouts in teasing and yixing laughs, nuzzling closer to Jongin, because he’s warm and strangely comforting.

“I have to go to this dinner thing.” Yixing explains with a sigh.

Jongin worries his bottom lip before asking, “A date?”

Yixing snorts like that’s the most ridiculous notion he’s ever heard, “No. I thought, but-” he sighs and closes his eyes, “It’s not a date, no. But I could take a date…”

“Do you want a date?” Jongin asks looking down at Yixing.

“Are you offering?” Yixing teases as he looks up into Jongin’s brown eyes - his breath hitches in his throat, because they’re a lot closer than he’d thought.

Jongin doesn’t skip a beat or even bat an eye when he says, “Yes.”

“Seriously?” Yixing gapes.

“Of course, hyung, anything for you.” Jongin laughs, “I’ll be the best date ever.”

Yixing chuckles, “You say you’ll do anything for me, Jongin?” he asks suddenly, because there’s an idea in his head now. He wants to show Donghae that he can move on too.

“That’s what I said,” Jongin hums.

“Can you, um-” Yixing swallows hard, “Jongin, will you pretend to be my boyfriend on Friday night?”

Jongin almost chokes, “What?”

“Nevermind,” Yixing laughs at the absurdity of his request, “Nevermind.” he says again with a sigh.

“No, no,” Jongin stammers, “Yixing, I won’t ask why, but if you need someone to pretend to be your boyfriend,” he gulps, “I want it to be me… If you want to… I don’t mind, honestly, hyung, you mean a lot to me and I’d do anything to thank you for everything you’ve done-”

Jongin’s rant is easily cut off by one of the sweet laughs that belongs to Yixing, “Eight.”

“What?”

“It’s at eight on Friday night.” Yixing smiles up at Jongin, “You’re an angel, you know that?”

Jongin blushes and has to bite his tongue to keep himself from reminding Yixing of how he used to act.

“What’s this for anyway, hyung? The dinner?” Jongin asks, because he can’t help himself from being curious.

“An old friend of mine… He’s-” Yixing sighs, “He’s announcing his engagement.”

“Old friend?” Jongin asks and thinks back on how Yixing had thrown himself at that strange man in the hallway.

Yixing nods, “Old friend, sort of.”

“Ah,” Jongin finally gets it.

The man from yesterday, the engagement, an old friend… It’s all too clear now that this man is one of Yixing’s ex-boyfriends and he can’t help but feel so, so sorry for Yixing. He wants to make Yixing happy and to be there for him, so he puts aside his own feelings, forgets the fact that it’s going to hurt when he sees the way that Yixing looks at another man, and decides to do this. He will be a comfort for Yixing, he will be his angel. Because if Jongin can’t be Yixing’s real boyfriend, he’ll settle for being a good friend.

❦❦❦

“Stop it, Yixing,” Jongin sighs as he takes the man’s wrists into his hands to keep him from running his fingers through his hair anymore, “You don’t need to keep doing that, you look-”

Yixing’s eyes widen a little, “I look…?”

“Handsome,” Jongin says, even though there’s so many other words he could say - breathtaking, beautiful, gorgeous, perfect - but he settles, “You look handsome, hyung.”

“Thanks, Jongin,” Yixing blushes, “You do too,” he whispers as he fixes the collar on Jongin’s shirt and smooths out the shoulders of the material.

Jongin’s face flushes, “Let’s go in, shall we?”

Yixing nods and lets Jongin lead him to the table in the back where all of Yixing’s friends have gathered with Donghae and a man with bleached hair sitting next to him. They’re holding hands on top of the table and Yixing notes their matching gold bands with a rather forlorn look now adorning his face. Jongin notices slips his hand down to the small of Yixing’s back to keep him moving towards the two empty chairs nearest Donghae - the only ones left.

Yixing startles when he feels the hand on his back, but looks over his shoulder to smile at Jongin shyly. A ‘thank you’ passes silently from Yixing to Jongin and Jongin responds with a slight nod of his head as a ‘you’re welcome.’ They sit down, Yixing next to Donghae on his left and Jongin taking a spot on his right. Donghae’s watching them with a twinkling curiosity and sincere smile on his lips at the way that Jongin pulls Yixing’s chair out for him and leans close to whisper secrets into his ear.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Donghae smiles as he leans towards Yixing, “This is Hyukjae,” he nudges his fiance and the man turns to look at Yixing with a gummy smile on his face, one that matches the dorky one on Donghae’s.

“Yixing, right?” Hyukjae asks as he reaches across the table to shake his hand, “I’ve heard so much about you. Donghae really thinks highly of you, I’m almost jealous. It’s great to finally meet the infamous Yixing.”

Yixing laughs, it’s forced and awkward, but no one seems to notice except for Jongin who squeezes Yixing’s hand under the table for reassurance, “It’s nice to finally meet you too, Hyukjae.”

Donghae grins and clasps a hand on Yixing’s shoulder, “Order anything you and your friend would like, I’m paying tonight.”

Yixing squeezes Jongin’s hand, “This is Jongin,” he says taking a deep breath and looking back at the younger to give him a small smile, “He’s my boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you.” Donghae chuckles, “You guys look good together.”

Jongin leans over and presses a kiss to Yixing’s temple for the act and for some reason it doesn’t even make Yixing flinch. He just smiles at Jongin, lets their fingers intertwine and blushes. Jongin bites his lip and smiles back. Something passes between them in the silence, something about their relationship and it’s not really clear, but they both understand that they’re closer now.

The dinner goes by fine, Yixing is convinced that he can make it through the entire event. Especially with Jongin by his side and the familiar faces from his dance crew bringing him comfort. He figures he’s going to have a lot of explaining to do with all the boys who are aware that Yixing isn’t dating anyone. He’s just glad that they’re all going along with this.

It’s not until Donghae’s official announcement of his engagement that Yixing feels himself falter, but Jongin is there to balance him. The younger keeps an arm wrapped around Yixing's waist and Yixing squeezes Jongin’s hand every now and then, the pressure relaxing him and making him feel better. But everything topples over the second that Donghae turns his attention to Donghae with a bright smile on his face, explaining that he needs someone to stand with him at the wedding. Someone that he trusts and cares for the most.

“Yixing, will you be my best man?” Donghae proposes the idea and all the colour in Yixing’s face drains instantly, his grip on Jongin’s hand loosens and he feels his entire body drop.

“Best man?” He asks, uncertain he’s hearing Donghae correctly.

Donghae nods, “If it’s going to be anyone, Yixing, it has to be you. You’re still my favourite, ya know.” he laughs with a wink and Hyukjae smiles beside him unknowingly.

Part of Yixing wants to scream at Donghae for asking him something like this in front of so many people. He looks around the room and Jongin is watching him with the most concerned expression on his face, because obviously he knows what happened between him and Donghae before, he’s not stupid. Yixing swallows and looks back at Donghae - he wonders briefly if Hyukjae would allow Yixing to stand there for Donghae knowing what the two had done together before Donghae disappeared into New York. He wonders if Hyukjae would have greeted him as warmly as he did if he knew. The part of him that wants to yell at Donghae has in mind to let Hyukjae know just how Donghae sounds in bed late at night too.

But he stops himself before he opens his mouth and instead finds his legs moving straight for the exit sign. He leaves the reserved room of the restaurant and suddenly, he’s locked himself in one of the bathroom stalls feeling like the world’s biggest idiot.

“Yixing!” Donghae exclaims in surprise as he follows after the boy leaving the room and Hyukjae watches in confusion at the scene unfolding around him.

Jongin doesn’t stay for much longer, following after Donghae in a rush. Before Donghae reaches the bathroom, Jongin’s hand wraps around his arm and he’s pulling Donghae away from the door with a scowl on his face. Donghae looks at him in shock and feels his back hit the wall across from the bathrooms hard.

Donghae gasps, “What are you-?”

“Shut up,” Jongin hisses before he removes his hands from the man, “What do you think you’re doing right now?”

Donghae swallows thickly like he knows, but he’s not ready to admit it, “I was just-”

“You must not realize how much Yixing likes you.” Jongin spits out, “Are you that stupid, Donghae-hyung?” he asks as his hands ball into fists and he grits his teeth in annoyance.

Donghae shakes his head, a look of absolute bewilderment on his face, “What are you saying, Jongin? He’s with you-”

Jongin scoffs and that probably gives it away to Donghae as the elder finally clues in, “Yixing likes you so much that he forced himself to come here tonight. Do you really think that he’s been comfortable here this entire time? Seeing you again after all this time only to find out that you’re engaged to someone else. And then for you to ask him to be your best man? That’s cruel, Donghae, you’re cruel.” Jongin is angry, but he just wants to get his point across, wants Donghae to know that he’s, whether unknowingly or not, hurting his friend and that he won’t stand for it any longer.

Donghae frowns and looks genuinely confused, “What Yixing and I had for each other was a long time ago, it was puppy love… It was never- we weren’t-” he bites his lower lip at the realization that Yixing still held those feelings in his heart, “Oh god what have I done…”

Jongin is furious at this point, because how could this idiot not understand this sooner? He’s ready to tell Donghae exactly what he’s done when there’s a soft sniffling behind him that makes him snap his body around to look at a puffy face with tears dried up now. Yixing rests a hand on Jongin’s arm and squeezes it, another silent ‘thank you.’

“Donghae,” Yixing starts, his voice cracking ever so slightly, “How could you lead me on like that if you didn’t feel the same way? You made me believe you’d come back for me, made me believe that I was-” he chokes on his tears as he begins to sob again, ,”Made me believe that I was loved.”

“I’m so sorry-” Donghae starts, but Yixing shushes him.

“I’m afraid I will have to decline your offer to be your best man.” Yixing says slowly, as he forces the tears back, “I wouldn’t be a very good one considering how I feel for you. I’m happy you have someone and that you’re happy too, but I can’t… I can’t…” he takes a deep breath, “I just can’t.” he says before leaving the restaurant entirely, tears still streaming down his face and his body shaking as he enters the cold, wintery air.

Jongin turns to leave, but a hand on his shoulder stops him - it’s Donghae.

“Tell him I’m so sorry and that I never meant to hurt him, please Jongin? Please?” he begs and it looks pathetics.

“I’ll consider it.” He says through his teeth as he leaves.

❦❦❦

The fresh tracks in the snow outside of the restaurant belong to Yixing, Jongin knows this, as he follows them slowly. He can barely make out the outline of Yixing’s body as he follows behind in the cold. He has Yixing coat draped over one arm and he wonders if his hyung is cold when he shoves his hands into his own pockets. Jongin doesn’t stop until he reaches the studio and recognizes the footprints disappearing into the building.

A sigh passes through Jongin’s lips as he slips into the building and finds Yixing dancing in front of the mirror. He’s shed his button-up shirt to expose the tank top he was wearing beneath as he dances without shoes or socks on his feet. Jongin’s heart skips a beat when he sees the look on Yixing’s face and he just looks so pure while he turns in a pirouette.

Jongin drops Yixing’s coat and his own on a chair nearby before entering the studio, startling Yixing to stop. The elder looks at Jongin, his chest heaving and his face looking every bit confused and frustrated. Jongin smiles just barely as he rubs at the back of his neck.

“Hyung?” Jongin asks and that’s all Yixing needs to hear before suddenly he’s sobbing again - the sight breaks Jongin’s heart.

“Hyung,” Jongin pouts and strides over so that he can envelop Yixing into a hug, letting the elder cry into his shoulder.

Yiing sobs and feels pathetic as he does so, because he’s not really sure why he’s crying anymore - Donghae long gone from his thoughts, “Am I stupid?” Yixing asks, pulling away long enough to look up at Jongin through his damp eyelashes.

“No, hyung, gosh no, you’re not stupid. He is stupid, because he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” Jongin reassures while rubbing soothing circles into Yixing’s back.

Yixing sniffles, “You think so, Jongin?”

Jongin nods, “I know so, hyung. You’re perfect and just because he can’t see that, doesn’t mean that others don’t.”

Yixing blinks up at Jongin and opens his mouth to say something, but he can’t think of any words to say, because something has clicked inside his head. Something that seems so obvious to him now while Jongin holds him, carding fingers through his hair and cooing in his ear to make him calm. Yixing wipes his tears with the backs of his hands and then tightens his arms around Jongin’s waist. Because the thing that has finally made itself clear in Yixing’s mind, the thing that’s always been there, makes him feel like an idiot, but happy nonetheless.

“It’s you,” Yixing whispers.

“What’s me, hyung?” Jongin asks looking down at the elder, their eyes meeting and he thinks he gets it by the look on Yixing’s face.

“You,” Yixing sighs as he leans up to push his lips softly against the plump ones before his own, “I love you.” he mumbles into the kiss, “I love you, Jongin.”

“Hyung,” Jongin breathes against soft lips, Yixing’s confession seeping into every part of his being and his heart fluttering in his chest. His hyung loves him. Tears form in the corners of Jongin’s eyes and he just barely gets the question out while a smile twitches at the corner of his lips, “You love me?”

“Yes, Jongin, I love you,” Yixing admits and he buries his face into the crook of Jongin’s neck.

“Hyung,” Jongin sighs and tilts the elder’s chin so Yixing is looking up into his eyes again, “I love you too.” And that's all Yixing needs to hear.

When Yixing presses Jongin up against the mirror in the dance studio and indulges the younger in messy kisses, Jongin finds himself willing, eager almost, to submit to his hyung. He's always thought that this would be the other way around, that he would be the one to dominate and take the lead, but he likes it better this way. He likes the thoughts that pass through his mind of Yixing taking him and so he lets himself fall apart under the man’s touches. It's everything he's always wanted and he never knew it until now.

“Again,” Jongin gasps, his voice light and airy when Yixing pulls away from him, “Again, hyung.”

Yixing laughs breathlessly and kisses Jongin again and again and again. There’s something about Jongin that makes Yixing forget everything. There’s something about Jongin that makes Yixing smile, makes Yixing feel better, makes Yixing feel so, so good. Especially when Jongin’s hands slip down into the back pockets of his black jeans.

And while Jongin might not have been Yixing’s first love, he sure as hell will be Yixing’s last love.

You're wondering why I changed chapter ten and made it all into 2 parts. The answer is simple: I was not content with the way I had written chapter 10 and I felt like it needed to be fixed. Posting the last chapter before it was completed was a mistake on my part and I apologize. I'm now satisfied with the way these two chapters have worked out and I hope that you can forgive me? ^^; Thank you for being such patient and understanding readers. I will write the next update asap to make up for this confusion! xo