I'm so sorry but I love you.

because I love you

"It's late, you should go home."


He said to me one early morning at about 1am. I was standing at his front porch still in my jogging suit facing a sleepy Jiyong. His face looks pale, cheeks sunken a bit, eyes swollen, and large eye bags are visible. He looks like the zombie from the walking dead. But he's still the handsome zombie I know.


"I don't want to go home." I pouted while shaking my head. "I'm bored...can I stay the night here?"


"I don't think so Yoona." Jiyong said with a frown on his face. "IfSeung gi knows, I'm going to be dea-"


"You're going to be fine." I cut him off. I couldn't bear to hear that name after what had happened between us. "Besides, it's not like he would care..." I trailed off.


I could see Jiyong looking at me suspiciously, knowing that I wasn't telling him something. He pursed his lips in annoyance and without a word opened the door wider to let me pass through.


Once inside, I immediately went to his room and dumped myself on his bed. When he entered the room I could see him staring at me (or glaring, either way) while I untied my hair knot which had been giving mehead aches. I continued keeping myself busy with my hair while Jiyong just stares (or glare) at me, knowing that I couldn't be forced to talk even if he tried to.


"Are you just gonna stare at me the whole time?" 


"Glaring. Not staring. And yeah, hoping you would crack under the pressure of my glare."


For a few minutes it was silent. Only the continuousstaring of Jiyong and his annoying foot tapping against the carpet. Another few minutes and he was drumming his fingers against his arm. And another few minutes he was marching towards me from where he was standing at the door.


"Yoona. What happened? Answers, now!" He shouted at me while grabbing my shoulder shaking me, frustrated by my lack of response.


"Sigh. It's not something I want to talk about right now Ji-"


"Oh cut the bull and spare me the drama Yoong!" Jiyong glared at me, trying to burn me alive. "Did he hurt you again?!" He narrowed his eyes at me.


"NO! No... It's not like that. And he only hit me once remember." I jumped from the bed, trying to calm him down. I didn't really want to face the wrath of the almighty G-Dragon. I just want him to quickly hug me and kiss me better. 


Like how he usually does in the past.


"Yeah I remember. You had a ing bruise on your right arm after you guys fight and you had no idea how hard it was for me to not beat his up." He huffed.


I could see Jiyong trying to keep himself in check. His breath coming out in short puffs and his fists clenching so hard I could see it turning red. 


"Why would you want to beat his up anyway huh?! He said he was sorry right and he promised not to do it again!" Ihalf yelled at him, looking directly into his eyes. He was taller than me though, so he had the upper hand of glaring down at me.


"What are you even saying Yoona! He was your ing boyfriend and remember when he promised not to hurt even an inch of you! He ing broke that promise!" Jiyong was fuming mad and it was showing through his eyes.


"Oh like how you promised me that you love me but you chose Kiko over me?!" By now I was fuming mad. How dare he, he shouldn't have said anything.


I could feel the silence slapping against us, making my skin red and my conscious bleed. The force of it so hard and rigid it felt like rubber snapping back into place. We stood facing each other, not saying a word. The air around us was thick and heavy, making me sweat. I could see him staring at me, wanting to yell, but also realizing that I was right and he didn't have a say in this. He opened his mouth several times, wanting to come out with some sort of retort but he was defeated.


"I think you shouldleave." Jiyong whispered after a few minutes. 


"No! I need answers Ji! I'm suffocating day by day and you're not helping me! Please...please." I pleaded. "I need to know if you really do love me! I need to know that our past wasn't just some game for you! I need-"


"I love her Yoona!" He yelled at me, exasperated. "Haven't I told you that?" 


"No Ji, no. You're lying!" I cried out, not wanting to hear the painful truth. "I can see your eyes and they're not telling the truth!"


"Yoona..." 


"But you loved me! You told me you loved me and we were made for each otherand and a-nd." I sobbed, stuttering to get my point across.


"You should leave now...please Yoona." He asked exasperatedly, his tone desperate for me to stop asking questions. He made abee line to the door but I wasn't going to let him


"I need answers Ji!" I was half yelling and half crying. My tears streaming down my face and my make-up in ruins.  


He turned around and looked at my with a hard stare. His body rigid in front of the door, one hand holding the knob and the other clenching into fists.


"I don't love you anymore Yoona. There, I said it." And with one final glance towards me, he walked out of the door, leaving me behind in a mess of messy hair, ruined make-up and a broken heart.


***


"I'm so sorry Yoona...I love you so much, I'm so sorry." I slid down against the bathroom door in tears, covering my mouth with my hand to prevent any sounds from coming out. "I'm so sorry, but I love you." I cried while hearing thedefeaning sounds of two hearts breaking.


 

AN: Sigh...I'm not even gonna try. This was actually a 100 word draft that I made last year with the intention of making a one shot but inspiration suddenly ran dry. Oh well, I finished it. I'm not even gonna deny how rusty my writing is like the dialogues...wtf even? tsk tsk. I'll do better in the future! 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Hiirah
3 chaps in tow; cute + kwon jiyoon / songfic / idol!verse againnn

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
HottestVIPSone #1
Chapter 37: Omg it’s been sooooo long . Still love your story btw :p
Marlenadan52
#2
Chapter 36: I loved it ☆☆☆
Marlenadan52
#3
Chapter 35: a part of me knew this was going to be sad but it was so painful to read
Marlenadan52
#4
Chapter 34: that was so much fun hahahaha
Marlenadan52
#5
Chapter 33: I love it, it's one of my favorites
Marlenadan52
#6
Chapter 32: I really had fun with this chapter
Marlenadan52
#7
Chapter 31: I loved it
Marlenadan52
#8
Chapter 30: I think Jiyong wanted something more than a kiss
Marlenadan52
#9
Chapter 29: I love it, for some time I thought it would have another ending, but fortunately it did no
Marlenadan52
#10
Chapter 28: this was a mix of feelings