Continuation of chapter 26 -- but I am not in love with you

because I love you

The remnants of their confrontation—a room strewn with the debris of her outburst—mirror the chaos within Yoona. A vase lay shattered, its pieces scattering the light from the streetlamps outside, casting long shadows that play across the walls, much like the way Jiyong’s words continue to cast shadows over her heart.

 

“Why?” The word slips out, a whisper lost amidst the silence of her apartment. It’s more than a question; it’s a plea for understanding, a voice to the confusion that wraps around her mind like a cloud. The echo of Jiyong’s departure seems to reverberate through the empty space, each step away from her punctuating the finality of his confession.

 

Yoona sinks to the floor, the cool touch of the tiles against her skin a stark contrast to the warmth of the tears streaming down her face. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” Jiyong’s voice haunts her, each syllable a needle pricking at the fragile balloon of hope she’d clung to.

 

Outside, the night air envelops Jiyong, the city’s buzz a dull backdrop to the dilemma churning within him. With each step, he distances himself physically from Yoona, but emotionally, he has never felt closer. The urge to go back, to hold her, to take back his words is overwhelming, yet he presses on, believing distance is the only remedy for a wound he thinks he has inflicted.

 

“I did the right thing, didn’t I? Jiyong whispers to the uncaring night, seeking validation from the stars that blink indifferently above. “She deserves someone who can love her the way she wants… the way she deserves.”

 

Back in her apartment, Yoona wraps her arms around herself, seeking comfort in the absence of his embrace. The words she had left unsaid swirl in her mind, a torrent of what-ifs and could-have-beens.

 

Was I not enough?

 

She questions the silence, her voice breaking under the weight of her doubts.

 

The apartment, once a haven of their shared memories, now feels like a broken home for their unfulfilled promises. Yoona’s gaze falls upon a photograph of them, smiling carelessly, caught in a moment of blissful ignorance.

 

We were so happy.

 

How did we get here?

 

How did we become like this?

 

The questions hang in the air, unanswered, as she traces the contours of Jiyong’s face with a trembling finger.

 

Jiyong, meanwhile, finds himself at a park they used to frequent, the bench where they’d shared countless conversations now a reminder of what was lost.

 

“I’m sorry, Yoona,” he speaks into the void, his apology carried away by the breeze.

 

 

***

 

 

As dawn breaks, bringing light to the darkest corners of her apartment, Yoona realizes that with the new day comes the possibility of a new beginning. It’s a faint glimmer of hope, but it’s hers to hold onto.

 

The morning air is cool and refreshing, a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere of the night’s revelations. She approaches the mirror, her reflection a stark reminder of the night’s toll: eyebags from sleepless nights, unrested eyes that tell stories of tears and turmoil.

 

She stares at herself, the vulnerability in her gaze challenging the strength she’s trying to muster.

 

How did I become like this, all because of one man?

 

The question hangs heavy in the air, a reflection of her inner turmoil.

 

But as she stands there, something shifts within her. The vulnerability in her eyes begins to harden into determination, the shadows under them not just signs of sleepless nights but also of battles fought and still to be won.

 

She straightens her posture, a physical manifestation of her inner strength solidifying.

 

No, I’m stronger than this. I will get through this.

 

The words resonate within her, echoing off the walls, filling the space with a power she’s only just beginning to recognize as her own.

 

With a deep breath, Yoona turns away from the mirror, her movements now purposeful. She tidies up the remnants of the previous night, each piece picked up and put away a step towards healing, a silent goodbye to the past.

 

As she dresses for the day, choosing her outfit with more care than she has in weeks, she feels a sense of empowerment enveloping her. Today marks the start of something new, a journey to move beyond the man she loves and to rediscover herself.

 

 

***

 

 

In the tender weeks that unfurl after their parting, Yoona and Jiyong navigate the contours of their new realities, each seeking solace in their separate worlds.

 

Yoona immerses herself in the familiarity of work, where tasks and deadlines create a welcome distraction from the echo of Jiyong’s absence. It’s through the routine of her days that she finds a semblance of peace, a way to quiet the turmoil that stirs beneath her calm exterior. Yet, it’s outside the confines of her professional life that Yoona begins to mend. The photography class she enrolls in becomes her sanctuary, a place where the world falls away through the viewfinder of her camera.

 

As she captures fleeting moments—shadows dancing on the sidewalk, the gentle curve of a smile, the serene quiet of the city at dawn—she discovers beauty in the overlooked, each photograph a step towards healing. Photography teaches her to see the world anew, to find grace in the ordinary, and with every click of the shutter, Yoona reclaims pieces of herself lost in the sorrow of their goodbye.

 

Jiyong, on his end, turns to the written word, finding in the blank pages of his notebook a canvas for his thoughts and emotions. Writing starts as a whisper of their past, a way to keep Yoona close in a world where she’s slipped through his fingers. But as words fill the pages, it becomes a journey of self-discovery. His stories, though inspired by moments shared with Yoona, evolve into reflections on love and loss. With each sentence crafted, Jiyong delves deeper into the complexities of his feelings, realizing that his love for Yoona, though transformed, remains a guiding light in his life. Writing becomes his release, a comfort that helps him navigate the maze of his emotions, allowing him to acknowledge and cherish the love he harbors for Yoona in a way that frees them both.

 

As days bleed into weeks and weeks into months, both Yoona and Jiyong navigate the contours of their separate lives with a silent grace. They move through their days carrying the bittersweet symphony of what was, each finding in their chosen pursuits—her photography, his writing—a way to forge ahead. Their journeys, though parallel, are marked by the silent promise of hope—a belief that in the process of letting go, they’ll find their way back to themselves, and perhaps, to each other.

 

 

***

 

 

One day, at an art exhibition, amidst the hum of hushed conversations and the soft footsteps on polished floors, Yoona and Jiyong find themselves unexpectedly in the same orbit. As Yoona rounds a corner, her gaze lands on a familiar figure standing before a vibrant canvas, his attention fully absorbed by the art. A flutter of recognition, mingled with a surge of unforeseen emotions, momentarily anchors her to the spot.

 

As Yoona’s eyes find Jiyong among the crowd, her heart momentarily stalls, noting how the year apart has etched itself into him. He’s aged, not in the sense of time wearing down, but in the way maturity has settled into the lines of his face, lending him an aura she hadn’t seen before.

 

Has it really been just a year?

 

She wonders silently, tracing the subtle changes in him. His presence, once familiar, now holds the intrigue of chapters unread, stories untold.

 

“Jiyong?” Her voice, barely above a whisper, cuts through the ambient noise, uncertain yet hopeful.

 

Jiyong turns at the sound of his name, and the sight of Yoona ignites a mix of nostalgia and newfound admiration within him. Time has indeed been kind to her; womanhood has woven itself into her features, framing her beauty in a way that leaves him momentarily breathless.

 

She looks incredible.

 

He thinks, struggling to reconcile the girl he knew with the woman standing before him.

 

Has she always carried herself with such grace, or is this new?

 

“Yoona, wow… it’s been a while,” Jiyong finally breaks the silence, his voice carrying a warmth that feels both familiar and new.

 

“Yeah, a year, right? I didn’t expect to see you here,” Yoona responds, stepping closer, a tentative smile playing on her lips. The space between them, once filled with shared moments and whispered confidences, now holds a year of silence, yet the underlying connection, the thread that had once bound them, seems to stir at their proximity.

 

“I’ve been following this artist for some time. Never imagined I’d run into you,” Jiyong admits, his eyes not leaving Yoona’s. The statement hangs between them, an unspoken acknowledgment of their shared history and the separate lives they’ve led since.

 

“This piece is beautiful,” Yoona comments, gesturing towards the painting, shifting the focus momentarily as they both look at the canvas. The artwork, vibrant and emotive, serves as a neutral ground, a shared interest that eases them back into the ease of their old rapport.

 

“It is. Art has a way of expressing what words sometimes can’t, don’t you think?” Jiyong says, turning to Yoona with a thoughtful look. “How have you been, Yoona?”

 

“I’ve been good, busy… I took up photography,” Yoona shares, her voice laced with a hint of enthusiasm. “It’s been… healing, in a way.”

 

Their exchange of pleasantries masks an undercurrent of unspoken thoughts and feelings. As Jiyong listens to Yoona speak of photography, he can’t help but notice the passion that lights up her eyes, a reminder of how she’s always seen the world differently.

 

She’s found her light

 

He muses, the realization stirring a blend of pride and a pang of loss.

 

“I’m glad to hear that. You always had an eye for beauty in the unnoticed,” Jiyong replies, genuinely pleased. “I started writing, actually. Short stories mostly.”

 

“That sounds like you, always lost in your thoughts and stories.” Yoona says with a soft laugh, the sound bridging the gap of their year apart, pulling them back into a semblance of their former ease.

 

The conversation meanders, touching on light topics, skirting around the edges of deeper waters. The suggestion to grab coffee together looms large in Jiyong’s mind as the exhibition draws to a close. A battle rages within him, a chaos of hesitation and longing.

 

If I don’t ask her now, when will I get another chance?

 

He deliberates, the weight of the moment pressing down on him. The thought of letting her slip away again, possibly forever, propels him forward, casting aside doubts.

 

“Would you like to grab coffee sometime? Catch up properly?” he finds himself saying, the words carving a path through the thicket of his uncertainties.

 

Yoona considers, the offer igniting a flicker of hope for understanding and perhaps closure.

 

“I’d like that,” she smiles, “It’s been too long.”

 

Yoona’s affirmative response lights up something within Jiyong, a flicker of hope, a bridge to a possibility he hadn’t allowed himself to fully contemplate until now. As they part ways, the promise of their meeting hangs in the air like a delicate thread, pulling at them with the potential of what’s to come.

 

 

***

 

 

As they settle into the quaint, softly lit café, the warmth of the ambience wraps around Yoona and Jiyong, offering a comforting backdrop to their tentative reunion. The coffee shop, with its gentle murmur of background conversations and the occasional clink of cups, feels like a cocoon, shielding them from the bustle of the outside world.

 

Sitting across from each other, they navigate the initial awkwardness with cautious smiles, each sip of coffee bridging the gap the silence left between them. But as the minutes unfurl, so does the ease of their interaction, reminiscent of the countless times they shared their thoughts and dreams across similar tables.

 

Yoona laughs, a genuine, heartfelt sound as Jiyong recounts an ill-fated attempt at baking, a venture that ended with a smoke-filled kitchen and an inedible creation. Her laughter, bright and lifting, fills Jiyong with a sense of warmth, a reminder of the joy that once defined their connection.

 

“I never should have strayed from writing to cooking,” Jiyong admits with a grin, his eyes twinkling with humor.

 

“And I should stick to photography rather than singing,” Yoona counters, sharing her own tale of a karaoke night that revealed her less-than-stellar vocal talents. Their laughter melds, a testament to their rediscovered camaraderie, a bridge over the chasm of their year apart.

 

As the conversation delves deeper, they share not just the light-hearted anecdotes but also the trials and transformations that marked their separate journeys. Yoona speaks of the solitude that photography alleviated, of finding solace in the silence and the beauty captured through her lens. Jiyong talks of his writing, how the act of penning down stories became a mirror to his soul, helping him sift through the layers of his emotions.

 

“It’s strange,” Yoona muses, tracing the rim of her coffee cup, “how we had to lose each other to find ourselves.”

 

Jiyong nods, his gaze holding hers, “But perhaps that was the journey we needed. To learn how to love and be loved in the way we truly needed, not just the way we imagined.”

 

In this moment, they realize that their bond, though once frayed, has woven itself back together in a pattern more intricate and resilient than before. Their love has evolved, no longer confined to the expectations of romance but expanded into a profound connection rooted in understanding, acceptance, and mutual support.

 

As they part ways that day, the promise of a future lingers in the air. In the end, Yoona and Jiyong discovered that their journey together was not about falling in love in the way they had initially expected but about learning to love and be loved in the multitude of forms that love can take. They had lost each other once, only to find that some bonds, no matter how tested by time and circumstance, are truly unbreakable.

 


A/N: Hello everyone, it's been so long since my last update which was in August 2016. It's been almost 8 years. Is anyone still here? T_T

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Hiirah
3 chaps in tow; cute + kwon jiyoon / songfic / idol!verse againnn

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HottestVIPSone #1
Chapter 37: Omg it’s been sooooo long . Still love your story btw :p
Marlenadan52
#2
Chapter 36: I loved it ☆☆☆
Marlenadan52
#3
Chapter 35: a part of me knew this was going to be sad but it was so painful to read
Marlenadan52
#4
Chapter 34: that was so much fun hahahaha
Marlenadan52
#5
Chapter 33: I love it, it's one of my favorites
Marlenadan52
#6
Chapter 32: I really had fun with this chapter
Marlenadan52
#7
Chapter 31: I loved it
Marlenadan52
#8
Chapter 30: I think Jiyong wanted something more than a kiss
Marlenadan52
#9
Chapter 29: I love it, for some time I thought it would have another ending, but fortunately it did no
Marlenadan52
#10
Chapter 28: this was a mix of feelings