BamBam's POV

Classes were done and me and Yugyeom were talking while going out from the room when I noticed Mark walking with JB.

What are they gonna do?

"Yugyeom, you should really go ahead. I need to check something in the library." I feel bad lying to Yugyeom but I need to know what they're gonna talk about.

"Sure, Bam. I'll wait for you at home." Yugyeom smiled at me.

"Thanks!" I ran away from him and looked for Mark and JB.

I found the two at the garden, settling down. I approached them and hid behind a tree just near them.

"What do we have to talk about, Jaebum? I think I told you that we're done." Mark suddenly said and I raised my eyebrows. So they talked before?

"Please... give me another chance. Another chance to show my love for you. Please, Mark. Give me one more time." I looked at JB's face and he looked so hopeless.

I saw Mark mumble something before touching JB's face, "Jaebum, you know how I always loved you. We always fought because of childish things and I'm always mad at you because of petty things. But I couldn't imagine my life without our fights and you teasing me. But that was before. Before you decided to lie to me. Before we broke up. Before I met Jackson."

Surprisingly, JB got down to his knees. It's rare to see JB being so apologetic.

"That's why I'm asking you for one more chance. I promise, I'll never do the same mistake."

Mark looked like he was sad for JB, "I'm sorry, Jaebum. But yeah, maybe I really love Jackson now."

Huh? He loves Jackson?

But I thought... But I thought he hangs out with Jackson just because he respects Jackson's feelings...

I thought he hangs out with Jackson because he was desperate to move on and having somebody being straightforward about his feelings to him will do that but... he loves Jackson too?

They have mutual feelings?

Then... what... about... me...?

I didn't notice that I was crying. I looked at the ground.

I am so pathetic. It's my fault Mark never knew about my feelings. Because I'm a coward. I don't want to confess to him because I know he will reject me because he loves JB.

I slowly distanced myself fron them then ran away all the way home.

When I opened the door, I noticed that no one was home.

Where is Yugyeom?

That doesn't matter. I shouldn't use him again just to comfort myself.

I should deal with this alone.

I should suffer alone because it's all my fault anyway.

I put my bag on the floor and sat on the couch.

Minutes later, I noticed that tears are starting to fall again.

I put my knees on my chest and sobbed loudly.

Why am I such an idiot? Why do I complicate things?

If I just confessed to Mark and be rejected, I could've moved on after but no, I decided to keep it for years and now look, he doesn't love his ex boyfriend but he has another one who he loves and possibly, more than he loves JB.

I am such a loser.

"BamBam!" I saw Yugyeom storm inside the house and glare at me. His face was red and he was obviously angry.

"What?" I quickly wiped my tears but it was too late because Yugyeom already saw me crying.

"I'm sorry for lying but you lied to me too! I followed you and saw you listening to Mark and JB's conversation then you ran away. I listened too and knew what they were talking about."

"So you probably know why I am crying again, huh."

"And I know that you're blaming yourself again for being a coward! Unable to tell your feelings for Mark! And you can't move on from him because you think you never will except if you tell him how you feel, but moving is not like that! Moving on is accepting things! You can still regret a little but if you're able to live your life without thinking of that one person, then you have moved on! Moving on is not like what you believe it is, Bam. It is when you feel happy without that one person. It is when you don't feel pain because of that one person. And it is to stop being blind and be open with things around you! Like acknowledging someone's feelings for you too!" Yugyeom was yelling at me and I was staring at him because of his outburst.

This is the first time I saw Yugyeom very mad at me and I don't know why.

"What do you mean, Yugyeom?" I stood up too and noticed that he stepped closer to me.

"Me! I was talking about myself! Stop being blinded by your feelings with Mark and acknowledge my feelings for you! I always loved you, you dummy! Ever since we first talked! I lied about meeting you on that exact day. I first saw you when you were talking in front the whole class and your jolly attitude captivated me. I wanted to keep that smile on your face because it fits you. But then I saw you crying by yourself and I thought that you were hiding something from everyone so I decided to by your side always and to make sure that you're happy. But you never saw me more than best friends! Instead, I saw you crying and crying over Mark and it always frustrated me but I decided to wait for you to move on and realize my feelings for you but you never did!"

I was dumb