Chapter 6

"Misashi, I need to talk to you..." Donghyun pulled Haruka aside as soon as they both left the changing rooms. Haruka complied, curious to find out what would Donghyun want from him. He took him to the parctice room, since the otheres were still changing.

"What is it?" Haruka asked calmly.

"Why did you stop?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you stop acting?" Donghyun repeated. Haruka scoffed.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Donghyun pulled a folded paper out of his pocket. On seeing it, Haruka's eyes widened. "Where did you-"

"Magazines can be very helpful, right?" Donghyun unfolded the paper. "I have another article published two days after your former band was disbanded... But this one is even more interesting." Then he started to read outloud. "The famous J-Pop idol, HaruKaze has announced his comeback single to be realeased in August 2013. After recovering from a severe case of nervous breakdown, HaruKaze came back once again, but on his own."

"..." Haruka remained silent. Donghyun went on.

"'I have learnt from my mistake, he says.' says HaruKaze's new manager, Xiang Chen. 'HaruKaze has mentioned his dislike for woking in teams after his past experience. He also added that effeciency and perfection require sacrifices. Him working on his own ensures his success.' " Donghyun paused. "This article was published in June 2013, two months before your so-called comeback."

"Nonsense..." Haruka mumbled. "I'm not HaruKaze..."

"Then what about this one, August 2013..." Another torn page was pulled out, and Donghyun started to read once again. "'Unlike what everybody expected, HaruKaze's comeback single was not realeased on time. His manager has said that there were some mistakes that had to be fixed, and that this was the sole reason for the abortion of plans. Yet, HaruKaze's doctor said otherwise.

'HaruKaze has to quit. His health issues are fatal. His carelessness would definitely lead to hazardous situations." Says Simon."

"Why are you telling me this?" Haruka asked. 'Why now? It's too late..." Haruka said softly, staring at the ground.

"Misashi..." Donghyun placed his hand on Haruka's shoulder. "We are all willing to help you if-"

"Don't give me that!" Haruka slapped Donghyun's hand away. "I don't believe you! I don't believe any of you!" At that moment, the rest came in, surprised and confused. Haruka ignored them and went on. "I don't like working with people. I'm only here because I had to be here! I don't intend to befriend anyone!"

"But.. You said we were..." Minwoo spoke nervously. Haruka glared at him.

"Just shut up..." he hissed. "You of all people remind me of him... I don't know why I even opened up to you in the first place..." Haruka pushed past Minwoo with force and left the room, leaving the young rapper confused and hurt.

"Haruka..." Minwoo frowned.

"It didn't go well... Did it?" Hyunseong asked after a while, though he knew well how it was.

"I don't think it was a good idea to confront him..." Youngmin said. 

"His wounds were healing, but I opened them again..." Donghyun muttered. "Guys, Haruka is one of us now... We have to heal that wound in his heart."

"I don't want to help him anymore...." Much to everyone's surprise, it was Minwoo who said that.

"Minwoo..."

"But you were the one that wanted to help him in the first place." Youngmin reasoned. Minwoo just shook his head.

"I... I don't know... Excuse me..." he turned around and left the room with no more words said.

"Minwoo, wait."

"Leave him, Hyunseong."

"Hyung..."

"He needs sometime alone... Let's start practice without him..." Donghyun said. And they did. What worried them was that neither Haruka nor Minwoo came back. Minwoo didn't reall feel like practicing at that time. He felt broken... He sat in a corner in the changing rooms, fighting to keep himself from crying. Haruka's sudden change of heart shocked him. They were friends... right? Now that he thinks of it, Haruka has never mentioned they were friends.

"Haruka..." Minwoo murmured softly. "Why.. Why are you like this...?" He glanced at the clock and sighed. It was 4 p.m. He has spent a lot of time there, and his band mates were worried about him for sure. Just then, Haruka walked in. On seeing him, Minwoo flinched a little and didn't look at him. He hoped Haruka would just leave without bothering to notice him, but would that simple wish come true? Never. Haruka did talk to him, but unlike what he expected, Haruka's tone was different.

"Minu-san..." Haruka crouched down to Minwoo's level. Minwoo didn't look up, but kept his face hidden in his arms. Haruka bit his lips, feeling bad for making minwoo like this. One thing he was sure of, he needed some self-control threapy sessions. "Minu... I'm sorry..."

"You first break me, then you say you are sorry?" Minwoo mumbled, still not looking at Haruka. Haruka reached out and gently touched his hair, gently lifting up his head till their eyes met.

"Minu-san... I'm really sorry..." Haruka repeated softly. " I didn't mean what I said..." He recieved no reply, but he went on. "I didn't mean to sound so cruel... I'm sorry..." He sighed. "Minu-"

"How would you feel...?" Minwoo spoke. "How would you feel like if someone who you have always thought of as a friend suddenly glares at you when you had done nothing to him...?" Haruka opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He was at a loss of words. Minwoo was definitely right, Haruka knew that well. The black-haired idol sat next to Minwoo and hugged his knees with a sigh.

"I know how it feels, Minu..." Haruka murmured, closing his crimson eyes. "That feeling of betrayal... Feeling insecure... It's horrible..." Minwoo turned to Haruka to see him staring into space with life-less half-lidded eyes. "I'm not new to that feeling..." Then he sighed. "Do you know why I chose to join BOYFRIEND?" Minwoo shook his head.

"You never mentioned it..."

"Each one of you has a slight resemblance to my old band mates... At first, I saw this as a bad choice... Yet I couldn't help but choose you over the rest... As much as I tried to forget about my past life, my former friends and all that, I couldn't. There was always something that reminded me of all of this..." Haruka's voice started to shake a little. He then went on, not knowing that there were certain people eavesdropping outside. "After I recovered from my nervous breakdown, I decided to get back to work, show my former band mates I could do without them. I hired a new manager, changed my style, did everything that could be done to ensure perfect performance... Yet, my comeback was not put into action..."

"Donghyun-hyung told us..." Minwoo said. "But... Why wasn't it successful...?"

"I... I had a wife..." Haruka said, fighting to hold back his sobs. "She...she was a relative of mine, and I later found out she was using me to get her hand on some money, so she can marry the man she loves..."

"I.. I didn't know that... HaruKaze was married.."

"I kept it secret... I was too oblivious to anything... I was so kind... So naive..." Haruka's tears started falling down. "She betrayed me... I loved her... But... She never cared for my feelings..." Then he pulled out a locket. "Yet, I still have something that reminds me of her... We had a daughter... She was only two years old when my wife left..." His sobs became audible. "I didn't know what to do.. I was so shocked... I fell into a coma... I was so close to death... Yet I lived... I lived to suffer the consequeses of my innocence..."

"Haruka..." Minwoo gently rubbed Haruka's back. Haruka wiped his tears away, only to be followed by other fresh tears.

"The concert was no longer on schedule, and after I suffered from another mental and nervous breakdown... I almost went crazy..." Haruka went on, trying to cease his sobbing. "My personality changed completely... I no longer trust people... Only Simon and my little girl, Ruki... They are the only ones I trust..." He paused, taking a sharp breath. "My daughter was taken away into an orphanage while I was at work one day... I came back, she wasn't waiting for me with her sweet smile...I later found out she was sent by my manager to an orphanage... He said this was done in order to have me focus more on my job... But how would I focus when the only person that kept me smiling is not there...?" Minwoo pulled Haruka to him so that the older idol had his head resting on Minwoo's shoulder.

"My daughter, those I thought of as family, my wife... They all left me... My wife is married to some famous model, my former band mates each have their own careers now, my daughter is living somewhere I don't know of..." He murmured softly. 'I just don't want to live anymore..." he sobbed. "I grew cold and mean to everyone... No one likes me... I'm too bossy and childish... I want everything to be perfect... I blame others for my mistakes... The child 'me' no longer exists, but it has been replaced by a cold new version..."

"It's not your fault, Haurka..." Minwoo said soothingly. 'They made you like this... It's-"

"No.. I shouldn't have been like that...!" Haruka cried. "It's all my fault... " I furiously wiped his eyes and got up. "I'm tired. I need to go home." He ran out of the room, not noticing the five memebers standing by the door. Minwoo stood up and wlked to the door. 

"Haruka..."

"He really needs help..." Hyunseong said sympathetically. "I didn't know he was that hurt..."

"We have to get him to trust us, then." Jeongmin said. "But let's not make plans. Just let it happen."

"huh?" 

"Like, let him get used to us. Maybe, have him join us on the ride home. For example, let Youngmin sit by him one time, then Minwoo, and so on. Simple things can make great changes, you know." Jeongmin explained with a grin.

"I get it now. Sounds nice." Hyunseong smiled.

"Simple, a little bit cute, but nice." The twins nodded.

"I'm in." Minwoo nodded with a smile.

"Me too... But please, Youngmin and Kwangmin... Do not use your gags... They are horrible..." Donghyun said with a sly grin.

"Thank you for being honest, hyung..." the both muttered.

"I'll go get Haruka." Hyunseong said, leaving to find Haruka before he leaves. The rest went to change and get ready to go back home. They had a lot waiting for them, and they were exhausted. They didn't know whether helping Haruka came first or sleep. It didn't matter. Sleep can't wait, but Haruka can... Right?