Sudden change of plans. I will still type the epilogue, though, but here's this chapter first.

Chapter 20

Two weeks have passed since Haruka has ended his own life. Life went on normally after the first week passed. Only Terumi, Ruki and Kuraiyuki remained in some kind of trauma. Terumi has not yet recovered from the shock. The two kids have moved away to France, where Kuraiyuki worked as a fashion designer for a famous company. Ruki stayed under his care.

The former memebers went back to their work. Only Makoto kept greiving over Haruka's death, spending his time in a secluded room, away from people. Sometimes Hyunseong wondered why he had to lie to them... Maybe it would have been better if he told the truth.... Which was what he did, two weeks after Haruka was gone...

"Hyung, focus on practice." Minwoo's call brought him out of his world.

"Uh...Yeah..." he shook his head to get rid of these thoughts. He couldn't help but feel worried about his former young band mate. But what could he do? He tried bringing up the subject, but the only thing he got was hate. Lots of hate...

Haruka was cruel. He forced him to lie, so he would use this as an excuse to end his life. It was a big lie. Minwoo, before he even knew it was a lie, felt broken. Hyunseong couldn't blame him. He was too close to Haruka.... No matter what Haruka did, they were friends... 

During their first break, he went off to the recording room, where he and Haruka used to hang out. He sat with his back agaist the wall, eyes closed, breathing slowly. He couldn't hold back the tears of guilt from falling down his face. 

"I'm so sorry, Haruka..." He breathed. Then, he remembered some certain words Haruka has told him on that night...

My name is Haruka.... I have to be distant... I'm destinied to be forever alone....

But that can't be true, right? He lives up to his name too much...

Oh, wait... Maybe that's it....

When he was HaruKaze, he appeared to his fans, and yo the media world, as a sweet, loving and gentle person, despite all the roles ha has played in films. (All villians.) He was so sweet, like a spring breeze...

But this was not HaruKaze. He was Haruka. The aloof, distant, cold person he was. No matter how he tried, he was never able to conceal his true self. The one behind the sweet, childish mask.... The one that loved hurting people.... The one who almost took him that night....

But why didn't he? Why didn't he do it? 

With a knowing chuckle, he shook his head. Even though he had everything planned, he just had to make it cruel... He had to make him lie to his friends and band mates... Had he taken him, it would have been more...realistic...

He was thankful, though.... He didn't want to be taken by another male.... Not that creepy Haruka... The real one would have never done that to him. He was too innocent... Too pure...

And that innocent Haruka would forever remain in his heart...

Donghyun shifted in his bed, unable to fall asleep. Each time he turned to a side, he would remember how Haruka used to take his arm, mumbling random things about unicorns and candy. He let out a long sigh, rubbing his temple gently.

"Still awake...?" came the voice of Jeongmin. Donghyun glanced at the younger's bed to find him leaning over, gazing down at the leader.

"Can't sleep." he replied tiredly.

"Thinking of him... right?" Jeongmin asked with a knowing glint in his eyes. 

"I can't get him off my mind..." he sighed again. "...Just...why did he do that...?"

"I don't know...." the vocalist sighed. "He is just...argh, I don't know..." Donghyun sighed, noticing Minwoo's empty bed. 

"Where is he...?"

"Outside... He said he wanted to be alone..." Jeongmin replied. "I think he is not able to get over the fact Haruka is gone..." 

"I understand how he feels.... Haruka was so close to him..." The leader got out of his bed. "I'll go see him..." He walked out of the room, heading to the living room straight ahead.

Minwoo sat on the couch, staring into nothing, hugging his knees, mumbling some words to no one in particular.

"Why, Haruka...?" he said, not knowing his leader was there. "Why did you do such a thing...? You said our bond will never be broken.... But now... we are no longer connected...." he paused and sighed. "Youngmin-hyung misses you...We all do... Especially Hyunseong-hyung... And Ruki... She wants you to come back... No matter how many times we tell her it's impossible.." he stopped briefly, wiping away some tears.

"I never saw you as a burden... No one ever did... Just because you have another personality...doesn't mean we will hate you... We just...wanted to fix your broken heart... To make you feel better....By the way, I heard Jeongmin-hyung say he was happy you celebrated his birthday with us... He may not seem close to you, but he misses you too.." He pulled out a picture of Haruka and the others on said birthday. Even though it was Jeongmin's, Haruka was the one in the center. Jeongmin and Hyunseong were on either sides of him, the others behind. It was taken at the hospital, several days before Haruka was out... Before he left... He was smiling bright at the camera.

"Oh right....Happy Birthday.... I wished you were here with us...to celebrate...... but... I just want you to know... I really miss you...so much..." He stopped and silent sobs escaped his lips. 

"Minwoo..." said rapper dropped the photo he was holding and turned around quickly, relaxing when he found out it was just his hyung. Donghyun sat next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "....You need some rest..."

"I know... But I can't sleep...." the rapper sighed, leaning a bit onto the older's shoulder. "...He was my friend..." he sobbed, wiping away his tears. "I want him to come back....It's not fair..."

"I know...we all miss him..." Donghyun picked up the photo sighing. "...Greiving over him won't bring him back... He killed himself... He's gone..." Minwoo just nodded solemnly. 

"Ne, hyung...?" 

"Hm..." 

"Do you think praying for him would bring him back to life...?"

"Don't be silly, Minwoo. Prayers do not bring back the dead... You really have to sleep..." he got up, leading the younger to their room. They both each went into their beds. "...Good night, Minwoo..." Minwoo sighed and smiled solemnly.

"....Haruka... If you can hear me... please... come back to us...." he murmured softly. "I'll be waiting...."

'Minwoo...' Donghyun sighed silently at the boy's hopeless prayer, yet he couldn't deny he wished it was true... Haruka was so close to all of them... Not having him around... at practice... it felt different... He had left a special touch on all of them... And that touch remained, filling their hearts with the warmth of his innocence, despite having a double personality, he still remained a pure child at heart... The real Haruka he was, the one who was longing for some company...for some love and care...

The true, innocent Haruka would forever remain in their hearts... 

"Kwangmin..."

"Hmm?"

"Not asleep, eh?" the older twin sighed.

"Yeah...Can't..." Youngmin nodded absentmindedly. He took a deep breath before calling his brother again, quietly as not to wake up their hyung. He was so tired by the end of the day, and waking him up was a bad choice. "Yeah..?"

"Would you...come down here...?" he asked, quickly adding. "I want to talk to you..." The younger did as he was asked, and settled in his brother's bed. 

"What is it...?" the younger whispered. 

"Have you received any recent calls from Terumi or anyone?"

"Well, Simon called me once, last night." he said. "I asked him about Terumi... He said he was recovering well, but he doesn't like it when anyone mentions his brother... So it's still not possible to keep Ruki under his care."

"I see.." Youngmin nodded. He glanced at Kwagmin, feeling the need to voice his true reason to have the younger by his side, but he was quickly distracted by his brother's distant expression. "Kwangmin...?" the brought his twin out of his own world and nudged him a little.

"Sorry, hyung... I was just...thinking..." Youngmin tilted his head.

"Of what...?" Then a thought flashed through his head, but he dismissed it rather quickly. His brother would never think of anything related to suicide, right? This was Kwangmin, not Haruka.Kwangmin saw that look. He knew well what his brother was thinking of. He touched his shoulder and smiled reassuringly. 

"Don't worry...Youngmin..." he smiled. "I...I won't do such a thing..." Youngmin gazed at him with these gentle eyes of his and smiled, holding Kwangmin's hand in his tightly. 

"I know... I'm glad..." he whispered, caressing his brother's hair. "These days...I have been seeing nightmares about losing you..."

"Hyung..."

"That's why I want you here, next to me..." he gently wrapped his arms around his younger brother. It felt a bit strange, since they has not done such a thing ever since the became part of BOYFRIEND. Kwangmin, knowing and understanding why his brother felt like this, gave in to the touch, and hugged his brother as well. "....Just this night.... Don't leave my side... okay?"

"Okay..." he mumbled, smiling into his brother's shoulder. Youngmin drifted to sleep quite quickly. Kwangmin just stared at his brother's peaceful face. Youngmin, despite their lack of contact, still cared about him so much. The way the were next to each other now reminded him of Terumi and Haruka...

He chuckled. He had to remember him, ne?

But he had to admit... On meeting Terumi for the first time, he couldn't help but thing of Youngmin each time the Misashi twins would show any kind gesture of their brotherly love. Youngmin was the caring older twin, he was the stubborn one. Just like Terumi and Haruka.

He would be proud to say that Haruka lives in him, which is not that much true.

Still, He and Haruka were friends... They would sometimes speak to each other of their feelings and worries. Even when he used to visit Haruka back at the hospital, Haruka would ask him all sorts of questions about him and his brother. And whenever he questioned him about it, he would say he wanted to make up for how he was cruel to him. That leaves Kwangmin to wonder...

Has Haruka been planning this all the time...? Or was it, as Hyunseong said, the doings of his second personality..?

Definitely having two voices in your head can lead to horrible results...Unless that voice belonged to you gentle older brother-

Oh wait, he was not going to praise Youngmin now, was he...?

No really. Was he? 

He laughed at his thoughts glanced at his brother's face again. It touched him so much... The fact that Youngmin was so worried and scared something might happen to him when he was asleep. It bugged him so much that he couldn't sleep without his brother by his side.

"...Thank you, Youngmin..." he pecked his brother's temple, trying to imagine his brother's expression if he had seen him do that. Would he be disgusted...?

Probably not... Not as much as what he would ever be if their fans saw them like this, and the results had reached him... So no, he was safe. 

Much to his surpirse, Youngmin, whom he had thought to be asleep, pecked his cheek quickly. "You're welcome..." he murmured, tightening his grip around him. Kwangmin smiled. It sounded idiotic, but if it wasn't for Haruka's reckless decision, they wouldn't have gotten this close... Or wouldn't have shown their love and care for each other...

Kwangmin was half-thankful. He still didn't like the fact Haruka has died... He wished it wasn't true. He liked it when Haruka challenged him to dance-offs during their breaks. He liked the way Haruka complimented his skills. He liked Haruka's childish personality... But he was no more.

Still, Haruka... That aloof, but loveable Haruka would forever exist... He knew they all felt the same...

Haruka still exists... He remains in their hearts...

If... If only they knew...