It was hard for everyone, there was no doubt of that. Things had gotten out of control a long time ago, and everyone was scared there was no way they'd get everything in control anytime soon. Everyone was scared to step outside, there was rumours everywhere, they had no idea how they could end this whole mess. They couldn't exactly blame Jimin nor they would do it, but they wished they had found out sooner, so that they maybe could have stopped everything from happening. 

Jimin was no longer staying at the hospital, but he wasn't attending their dance practices or anything that could feel too hard for him to do. Right now all they could do was to make sure nothing would make his condition worse or his will to die get stronger. He might be fragile inside, but there was something incredibly strong about him, something that maybe wasn't easy to figure out, but it still was there. He wasn't weak, no. That was for sure.

--

Knocking on the door of the so called sunshine, Yoongi let out a sigh as no answer was received. He knew the other one was in there, but he wasn't sure if he wasn't opening because he was sleeping or because he simply didn't feel like it. So, without hesitating he opened the door and stepped inside only to find the other boy sleeping on his bed, his now red hair covering his eyes and his mouth slightly opened. He looked so peaceful, very beautiful actually, like a doll. These were moments when the older one would just sit down next do him, run his fingers through his hair and sigh, look at how beautiful being his boyfriend was, and how lucky he was to have him around. 

Sleeping was something Jimin had been doing a lot these days. It seemed like he was either tired all the time, or he simply didn't feel like being awake. Yoongi felt a little, or actually not so little, sorry for his boyfriend, sorry that he couldn't be there always to make him feel happier and to make him feel glad to be awake. They used to watch movies together, even though movies weren't exactly Yoongi's thing, but that was all in the past now. These days Jimin would go to sleep very early, he wouldn't join the other ones when they were going to order some pizza and play some video games, he would rather go to sleep, tell everyone he just needed some time for himself.

It was probably true, that after all what had been happening he did need time for himself; but somehow everyone seemed to want that part change. No one wanted him to start spending all the days alone.

--

What caused things to get even worse was when that one day Yoongi had just taken a shower, put on new, fresh clothes and was actually feeling quite happy. He was going out with Jimin, it had been so long time since they'd been able to do that for the last time. Yoongi was ruffling his hair, styling it to look better and turning around in front of the mirror. The youngest of them all; Jungkook, had noticed the older one posing in front of the mirror and had kept staring at him for some time, letting out a laugh, and hell, he was dead after that.

When the time really came and he was ready to step out of the building, (which was also a scary thing to do, how long would it take for the paparazzis to come and take a lot of pictures of them, creating all those articles), he saw Jimin approaching him. At first he was happy, excited even, but when he noticed the clothes Jimin was wearing; his pajama, his mood dropped a little. So they weren't going after all.

"What's the matter?"the older one questioned, raising up his eyebrows slightly in order to create a questioning look.

"You know... I'm not really feeling like going... It's not about you, Yoongi, I promise..."the red haired one whispered, sounding a little bit down for some reason, which concerned Yoongi quite a lot actually.

"If it's not about me, then why?"

"Yoongi, let's talk another time, I-"

"No. We should talk now. These past days all you've been doing is sleeping, I can hardly talk to you these days, how are we supposed to talk about things if all you do is avoid me or avoid being awake? Things need to change,"Yoongi's tone was serious, he wasn't taking this easily, it was easy to tell.

Jimin looked a little bit unsure when his boyfriend blurted out those words, he looked like a lost puppy. 

"Look, I... I wish I could do something about it, okay? I don't mean to hurt you or anyone else with me being so absent, but I'm not sure what to do. Everyone knows there's no way I could practice with you, I haven't been singing for so long, my voice has probably gotten so bad, and I don't know when I can start joining you guys again. I don't know what's the point of staying awake if all I can do is watch everyone else doing things they enjoy doing, knowing that I won't be able to join until I get things fixed with myself. -- And right now I don't even know how to get things fixed, It's like..." Jimin paused, continuing the sentence in his mind; it's like a maze. Just like he said the other time. 

Yoongi stayed quiet for some time, probably trying to gather all the words, to be able to say something. He knew Jimin was right and that it was all hard for him, but he wasn't the only one having hard times these days. And it was another thing Yoongi felt sorry for. He knew that he was no longer able to support his boyfriend as earlier, because as said; things were hard for everyone else as well, and seeing someone as important to him as Jimin was making him scared, scared that he would end up being like that as well if he wouldn't take care of himself too.

"It's like what, Jimin? What's it like?"he asked.

"Nothing, it's like nothing. I'm sorry, I'm very tired. If you want to talk, let's do it another time, forgive me, Yoongi,"and with that, the red haired guy turned around and started making his way to his room. 

--

After that Yoongi found himself sitting on the sofa in the living room, staring at the screen of the  TV that wasn't even , thinking, thinking and thinking more. Would things really get better? There was times when Jimin didn't even seem to be trying and it was painful.

There were things the older one didn't talk about. For example; he'd been staying up a lot these days. He'd been sleeping a lot worse than usually, which would probably soon be easy to see as the bags under his eyes were getting bigger and bigger. These nights he kept waking up, having nightmares of Jimin actually dying in front of him. He would cry for an hour after those dreams of his, but never would he wake anyone up for the mentioned reason. It was something he had to deal with alone.

Sitting on the sofa, thinking he was alone, he was only interrupted by Taehyung entering the room, sitting next to him on the sofa. 

"Are you alright?"the younger one asked, concerned look on his face. As much as he knew, the older one wasn't exactly alright, none of them was, but it didn't mean he still couldn't ask that. Perhaps the older one would actually open up for once. 

"As if,"Yoongi replied, his tone blank. He didn't want to continue the conversation. Even though he knew very well Taehyung was the only one who had noticed the scars and everything before things got worse, he still didn't feel like sharing his thoughts with the vocalist. These were things he didn't want to say to anyone. He didn't find it necessary to talk about his own feelings. Or maybe he did, but he thought the only person he could share his feelings with was Jimin and now Jimin wasn't there to let him vent a little.

"Don't get scared if I say this, but... Are you sure Jimin isn't avoiding you for a completely different reason than you think?"

"What do you mean?"the older one inquired, eyes widened a bit. 

"I mean-- he seems to be talking to everyone else at least somehow, but from what I've seen and noticed you two talking, he seems to not even want to tell you things. I... could it be that he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you...?"the younger one said the last words very quietly, not wanting to cause things to get worse, but at the same time he knew it was a mistake saying that.

"Bull. I know he feels good about our relationship. I know it. It's not like that would be the reason."

--

That happened a few days ago. And the more Yoongi kept thinking of it, the more real things started to get, until yesterday, when Jimin walked in front of him and asked if they could give things some time, to take a break. To break up.

No, it wasn't probably anything permanent, but knowing Jimin these days, it hurt Yoongi more than he had thought.

After all that Yoongi had done, how much he'd tried to support his boyf- ex boyfriend, it seemed like an impossible thing to happen. But it happened anyway.

Feelings, are they real?

--------------------------------------------

ello ello guys!!! im finally back and im terribly sorry of how long it took for me to come back. a lot of things have been going on and these days have been very exhausting, but im surviving and theres no need for any of you to worry about me!!! i hope youre still enjoying the story and im kinda sorry for putting yoongi & jimin and everyone else through this, but then again, this is just a part of the plot, and i promise not to disappoint you. this is a yoonmin story after all, how could things remain like this forever, right? ;-) well, lets see what will happen!!! please let me know what you think of the story so far!