Staying at the hospital didn't feel that nice. Actually, it was really boring. It made Jimin realize that in his world there had always been things for him to do. He never got bored. But this hospital, it was boring. All he could do was stare at the screen of the TV and hope that a funny show would start soon and go sleep after it ended. And that, that wasn't what Jimin wanted. 

He raised his hand a little and looked at it. Then he moved his eyes at his wrist. A sigh was let out. 

"Oh come on... Why is this all so hard..."he mumbled to himself. He knew anyone wasn't listening to him, but he wanted to state his thoughts as words, use his voice so that he could remind himself he was still a human. A human who was still able to let out his thoughts. But letting out his thoughts, it was no use, because even though Yoongi, had said he wouldn't hate him, he still knew what the other was like. He knew that his boyfriend couldn't be able to stay normal. And it kind of hurt Jimin, because he couldn't understand why he was so important to Yoongi. He didn't know what was so good about him that such a good guy like Yoongi would think of him as his sunshine.

Because Jimin wasn't a sunshine.

He was.

Or was he?

The nurse soon walked in, raising her eyebrows a little as he saw Jimin who was staring at his cuts. The nurse first backed because wasn't sure if Jimin wanted her in or if he should just go. But apparently Jimin had noticed the nurse and told her to come in. 

"You... you look better. How are you feeling?"the black haired nurse asked and forced a smile.

Jimin smiled his sweet smile and shrugged.

"Okay, I guess. Though, I don't think you'll belive it."

He saw the look on the young nurse's face and knew the answer immediately. Jimin had hit the jackpot again. No one believed him when he said he was okay.

"It's hard to believe it, right?"Jimin questioned the nurse and moved his gaze down. He wasn't sure if the nurse had come there just to check him out or if she was there for something else. But something made Jimin want to hear what she thought. Something made him ask himself to make the young lady to tell him, what would she do, how would she continue. 

The nurse moved her eyes away from the man. "No... I believe you're okay, physically. But what about your mental health? I mean, all this stuff.. being suicidal and all. I don't understand it. I don't understand how can one be so tired that they just want to throw their life away... I don't get it!"when the nurse all of sudden started talking like that and raised her voice in the end of the sentence, Jimin raised his gaze up a bit but still didn't look at her.

Jimin stayed quiet.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to vent like that. I should probably go. I shouldn't get emotional over a patient. "            

The nurse started walking towards the door, but Jimin stopped her; "No, you don't need to leave. I understand why you think like that."

"But how-"

"Because that's what I wonder as well. How is one so tired they just want to throw away their life?"when Jimin finished his sentence, the nurse looked surprised.

"Then why?"the nurse asked carefully. She was a little bit surprised when he actually talked to her about this. This was very sensitive subject, that was easy to tell for sure, but even though it wasn't professional to stay and talk like that, she felt like talking to him would make her understand. 

Jimin let out a small yawn as he was already getting tired. But after that a chuckle escaped his lips and he looked at the girl.

"I can't give you a straight answer, because there isn't one yet. I'm not sure if there's ever going to be one. But imagine this; You live your life happily. You have dreams. Some are small and some are very big, so big that you've almost given up at believing that they'll be true. But you have hope, so you don't give up on those dreams. And somehow that little piece of hope that you had makes the biggest dreams become true. All of sudden you see the world differently, everything seems big. All of sudden you're big. People know who you are. You're living your biggest dream. Your relationships are good. Your career is good, no, it's perfect. Then all of sudden, everything turns upside down, you're lost. You try to find the way out, but you never find it. It's like being inside a maze. A maze without a way out. And all of sudden, you realize, there's nothing you can do. You grow tired. So tired, that the only thing left is either giving up, or staying inside the maze and probably starve one day, because there's no ways out."

The nurse stood there, speechless. The speech that Jimin just gave her sure made her understand something. She still couldn't understand everything, but she understood much more than she normally would. 

"Ahhh... sorry for getting all deep on you. Guess I just had to tell that to someone. It's no use, but at least someone heard it."

"No, no, I understand more now. Thank you for saying that"the nurse said and bowed, smiling sadly.

"It did? Phew, thought you would hate me."

The nurse poured Jimin some water before walking back to the door. 

"I never would. You're actually pretty amazing. You can talk. Use your words, Park Jimin. I believe in you."

"Good. I needed to tell it someone, because... who knows when I will stop trying to find the way out of the maze"Jimin laughed softly. The nurse looked at him, smiled and closed the door.

Jimin put his head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. 

He closed his eyes.

"Yoongi... would you try to find a way out?"

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heyy! long time no see. sorry for not being able to update sooner, hope you still like reading this story though! school started and i got very busy, however now i have shorter days at school so i am going to be writing more. 

tell your thoughts of the chapter!