No sound was heard. 

The room was quiet. 

No one was speaking.

Only the sound of Jimin grabbing a glass of water was heard. That's all.

If you looked at the face of the older one, you could see that he was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He tried to utter some words, but he couldn't. It was like, he didn't have the words so no voice came out. He truly was running out of fitting words. There wasn't any words to describe what he was feeling. He wasn't sure should he say that he was shocked, because he was, but shocked... he was more than shocked. And he was more than sad as well. He didn't know, maybe there wasn't just any words to tell the feeling he was feeling.

He wasn't sure was he feeling like this because he had not been able to protect Jimin, not even this time or because Jimin wanted to do something like that to himself. 

Yeah, there was times when Yoongi had noticed that the other felt insecure, but that was only sometimes, maybe once in two months. And it always went away. It never stayed for a long time, Yoongi could tell that by looking at his loved ones face. And the others could notice it too.

The words that just came out of Jimin's words were now paining the older's heart. It felt like something would want to make sure that Yoongi's heart would be crushed sooner or later. 

Jimin looked like he was regretting saying it, but actually he didn't regret it. He was glad he said it. No, not glad, but not regretting his words either. He was feeling okay, okay because now Yoongi knew the truth. Yoongi knew that he didn't want to be in here and that he felt better if he wouldn't be always messing things up. That's how Jimin felt. He wasn't feeling just a little bit insecure. There was a lot of other things too.

They both kept silent before Jimin broke the silence with following words: "You're scaring me, Yoongi. Don't be that quiet"

That's when Yoongi's gaze dropped. He didn't feel like looking at his boyfriend right now. He felt too much pain right now. He felt like not only Jimin's life, but his life would be turning upside down as well. It hurt. Because just a while ago, things were so much better. Or no, they weren't, but because Yoongi didn't know, he couldn't get hurt by something he didn't know. 

Yoongi ran his fingers on his hair, brushing them trough his hair. Then he pulled himself up, walking over to the door of the hospital room. He never looked at Jimin's face. There might be a reason for that, there might not. 

Jimin didn't look surprised though. He had expected something like this to happen. He knew Yoongi didn't know how to deal with situations like this. It must be his first time to hear something like that.

The younger let out a sigh, followed by a small cough. He was left in the room all alone. He wondered if everyone went home already. They probably did. Knowing Yoongi, he would probably go sleep. He loved sleeping, and he would probably want to sleep also just because of all the things that happened. To sleep these things away. Even though it really wouldn't take the things away. He would have to face the things tomorrow once again.

-

It was already late. Jimin wasn't sleeping. He couldn't sleep under these circumstances. He was feeling empty. 

Usually he would be sleeping already, but he just couldn't this time.

He didn't know what to do with his situation. He knew he didn't want to be in here, but after seeing Yoongi's reaction, he felt like he really hurt him. Usually he would press his blade against his skin after something like this just to punish himself, but he couldn't now. Not in the hospital. There was no blades, and they would take it away if they'd find out what Jimin would be doing.

To be honest, Jimin was kind of lost. Lost in his own thoughts. He didn't know where he should go or should he stay. He knew for sure that the world didn't need him nor he needed himself, but he had the feeling that he'd have to go somewhere. He knew he was just one of those discusting creatures in this world. One of those that people wished didn't exist. He knew it. He knew no one ever wanted him to exist.

Yeah, he did have fans that said he was their everything. He knew it. But he really wasn't their everything, that's what Jimin thought. They didn't know what kind of person Jimin was behind the scenes. But it was not a surprise that they didn't know. Not even his own friends knew. No, one of them did. And soon the others would too, if they didn't know already. Nope, Yoongi wouldn't tell them. Yoongi was one to keep secret if that was asked. He didn't like gossiping. That's at least one thing that Jimin could tell for sure. He'd known Yoongi long enough to be sure about that.

One of the reasons why he felt empty was that Yoongi didn't kiss him when he left. He usually always kissed Jimin before going to sleep. It felt different and he needed that kiss. He felt sad without it. Not that he wouldn't feel sad anyway. Sad was one word to desrcibe his feelings all the time. Yeah, he might laugh sometimes, but he was still sad. He would always be.

He missed the times when he didn't feel like this. 

He didn't completely remember what it was like, but he could remember that it felt... bright. Brighter than this darkness that he felt right now.

During this hard time of Jimin's, he had also seen few hate comments. It was normal. All idols received many hate comments. Not everyone could like them.

But to Jimin, at this time, it felt terrible. It felt so bad. He knew that's what the haters wanted, but he was too weak to fight back. He hated himself for that. He was too weak, all the time. Just... too weak.

He admired Yoongi for not literally giving a about the haters. He was jealous, he wanted to be like that too.

Jimin yawned. He was starting to get tired. He was about to close his eyes, let himself fall asleep, when he heard the noise of door opening.

He turned his gaze at the door and saw a familiar, maybe a little too familiar, person stepping in. He was wearing a cap, a comfortable-looking oversized hoodie. Yoongi.

Why was he here? Is he even allowed to be here at time like this? It was night already. 

Jimin didn't say anything, he wanted to older to start speaking first. 

But instead of talking, Yoongi walked closer and pulled Jimin into a hug. He placed his head on Jimin's shoulder and closed his eyes. Jimin felt warm.

Yoongi noticed how cold Jimin was. He had noticed earlier Jimin's pale face. It had to be because of the pills. 

Yoongi pressed him a little closer, not letting Jimin go. This was Yoongi's way to show Jimin that he cared. That he would always be in there for him if he needed. He wouldn't let Jimin go just like that.

"Jimin."

"Y-Yoongi?"

"You're cold."

"Y-yeah... I guess..."

Yoongi placed a hand on Jimin's hair. It was soft. He always loved Jimin's hair.

"Yoongi... I want you to understand that I... I don't really feel good... about being born in this world... I know... I-I.. I said my life is perfect when I found you... but..."

"I know"Yoongi answered before Jimin could even continue.

"It's alright, Jimin, you don't have to explain"

They both had a silence again.

But the silence broke when sobbing was heard. Jimin was crying. He pressed his head against Yoongi's chest, clutching Yoongi's shirt.

"I-I... I just... I wish there would be an easy way for me to leave... everything is so hard.. I don't want to try anything anymore.. I've tried anything... even killing myself is hard... I can't even do one thing right..."

Yoongi could feel how his heart was being scracthed. 

"I... I d-don't understand... I-I don't understand it at all... w-why... why would anyone like something like me? My parents... they must hate me so much... I.. I'm such a disappointment..."

Jimin continued crying, explaining things, but he never got to the point why everything started, why he feels like this. But Yoongi let it be. He didn't want to hurt the already mentally injured boy.

"I don't deserve you, Yoongi... You deserve someone else, someone better than me.... s-someone who is able to love you back like you love me..."

Jimin was soon sobbing so much that he couldn't speak. Yoongi didn't say anything because he knew that Jimin had to let out his feelings.

"Y-Yoongi... if..."Jimin took a deep breath.

"If ever happens something... if ever something happens to me... don't hate me... because if you love me... you want to give me what I want, and Yoongi, that's what I want. Something big to happen to me so I don't have to suffer... I don't want to feel this huge pain anymore"

After that talk, Yoongi had let go of Jimin and looked into his eyes. Yoongi had shook his head and placed a small kiss on Jimin's lips. The good night kiss. The kiss that Jimin had needed.

"I won't hate you Jimin, I never will. -"

"I will just be really sad, that's all."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaaand that's all this time!!!

I'm gonna make sure that there will be a little, or not so little, plottwist happening in the future. I hope you guys still like this story! 

Your comments make me happy, I love knowing that there's someone who likes reading this fic. Thank you all for reading!

See you next time!

--lluhanniee--